[ The DRAGON ] 001: The Vacuum Of Time
Something that I cooked up for Mongrel. There's something called The Dragon that has 500 different themes - you can use them for writing, art, poetry, whatever. A lot of them have somewhat abstract names like "dying sun" that can be taken and used in a lot of ways. My muse nibbles at it with vigor. She loves these.
The first one is "the vacuum of time". I had the song "Underwater Ruins" from Final Fantasy X playing, since it ended up in my top 500 playlist, and also because it makes me feel peaceful and (unless I need to dredge up a more hateful/mournful mood in special cases) makes it easier for me to write. While it's a bit rough, I was trying to get back into Cain's mind, especially in this stage of the story. Obviously I can't say too much lest I spoil the story (if it ever gets published, lawl) but the water thing is as much physical as it is mental. If you listen to the song, you'll get a good idea of what I was trying to go for. Hopefully that'll come through in the writing, but regardless...
In the water, one’s mind dissolves. Reason, certainty, sanity… one would think they are invincible, but a deep enough ocean, it would seem, is enough to erode even those.
How long had I felt my body - or was it just my soul at this point - drifting along the current? A few minutes? Hours? Centuries? Time passes much differently with nothing but one’s heartbeat echoing in their ribs and eardrums. The very things that once seemed concrete begin to unravel in the mind like so many threads.
Which was my reality, I wondered. Did I belong in this aquatic grave, or to the promise of land just above the surface? It was hard to tell. I wasn’t sure f I had truly lived on land at any given point, or if it had just been a pleasant reprieve from my watery tomb. It brought to mind parallels of butterflies and Chinese philosophers, questioning who had truly been dreaming all along.
What was my true reality, my intended state of being, my home? Was it on land, with dirt between my toes and the balmy sun on my skin? Or was this my home - the timeless cold and silence of the water? Was it this deathlike eternity, carrying me through its currents like the arms of a mother?
I want to die. Right here.
It was a rebellious thought, yet somehow peaceful. This timeless state of being was so much like the netherworld just before absolute death - deafeningly quiet, filled with a chill that bit into your very marrow. Death, I knew, would be nothing more than a mere snip of the strings that let me settle, dreamlike, into a permanent state of eternal sleep.
There was a strange sound that permeated through the womblike silence, an ink drop spreading through the waters of white noise and peaceful silence. It was only as the drop of sound spread that I recognized it as a spoken word.
“Cain!”
Cay-ehn. Cay-een. I mentally tested the word on my tongue. It was strangely familiar, and I knew by the way that it tickled something in my mind that I knew this word. My lips knew how to make the motions for it.
“CAIN!”
Realization flooded me just as the water started to fill my lungs and blur the edges of my consciousness. It was with a padded, dreamy detachment that I understood - even as I bore witness to the slow decay of my own body and mind, it was acknowledged with the dull concern of a stranger.
It would seem that the ocean can even erode the will to survive, and the innate yearning to fight that comes with it.
The first one is "the vacuum of time". I had the song "Underwater Ruins" from Final Fantasy X playing, since it ended up in my top 500 playlist, and also because it makes me feel peaceful and (unless I need to dredge up a more hateful/mournful mood in special cases) makes it easier for me to write. While it's a bit rough, I was trying to get back into Cain's mind, especially in this stage of the story. Obviously I can't say too much lest I spoil the story (if it ever gets published, lawl) but the water thing is as much physical as it is mental. If you listen to the song, you'll get a good idea of what I was trying to go for. Hopefully that'll come through in the writing, but regardless...
In the water, one’s mind dissolves. Reason, certainty, sanity… one would think they are invincible, but a deep enough ocean, it would seem, is enough to erode even those.
How long had I felt my body - or was it just my soul at this point - drifting along the current? A few minutes? Hours? Centuries? Time passes much differently with nothing but one’s heartbeat echoing in their ribs and eardrums. The very things that once seemed concrete begin to unravel in the mind like so many threads.
Which was my reality, I wondered. Did I belong in this aquatic grave, or to the promise of land just above the surface? It was hard to tell. I wasn’t sure f I had truly lived on land at any given point, or if it had just been a pleasant reprieve from my watery tomb. It brought to mind parallels of butterflies and Chinese philosophers, questioning who had truly been dreaming all along.
What was my true reality, my intended state of being, my home? Was it on land, with dirt between my toes and the balmy sun on my skin? Or was this my home - the timeless cold and silence of the water? Was it this deathlike eternity, carrying me through its currents like the arms of a mother?
I want to die. Right here.
It was a rebellious thought, yet somehow peaceful. This timeless state of being was so much like the netherworld just before absolute death - deafeningly quiet, filled with a chill that bit into your very marrow. Death, I knew, would be nothing more than a mere snip of the strings that let me settle, dreamlike, into a permanent state of eternal sleep.
There was a strange sound that permeated through the womblike silence, an ink drop spreading through the waters of white noise and peaceful silence. It was only as the drop of sound spread that I recognized it as a spoken word.
“Cain!”
Cay-ehn. Cay-een. I mentally tested the word on my tongue. It was strangely familiar, and I knew by the way that it tickled something in my mind that I knew this word. My lips knew how to make the motions for it.
“CAIN!”
Realization flooded me just as the water started to fill my lungs and blur the edges of my consciousness. It was with a padded, dreamy detachment that I understood - even as I bore witness to the slow decay of my own body and mind, it was acknowledged with the dull concern of a stranger.
It would seem that the ocean can even erode the will to survive, and the innate yearning to fight that comes with it.