Oh Keene
Well, I wish I could say that things have AMAZING, but they haven't. Times are tough, but hey, I'm tougher. I have had to say goodbye to some people that I didn't reallllly want to say goodbye to, but it was necessary. I feel like I put up with too much shit and I need to stop. It is too wearing on my body, mind, and soul. Its too hard for me to worry about friends, drama, money, school, weather, health, habits, drinking, and lord knows what else is on my plate. Its more like a platter that needs to have more balance and I'm working on doing that. I am gonna take a step back from all of that, minus school and my good and accommodating friends and just let it be. Life is way too short with the huge potential to be wonderful if you make it that way. I have recently watched Across the Universe, and its amazing. I love the music, and it makes me think about what people back in the 60s in America and all over the world had to deal with. There was so much revolt and change, now its just the terrorism crap and technology and everyone being too self absorbed to even care about who used to be their friends. People are just to petty for their own good, and its going to destroy society. I don't really care what people say anymore. If I go with my gut, I think enough of myself and trust myself enough to know that I'll be ok. I will be OK. If I tell myself that fate has its funny way, I have a good brain, a good heart, and out there there are people yet to be discovered as meaningful to my life. It will be ok. When I am in the silence, and my thoughts are haunting me, I just keep telling myself...IT WILL BE OK. I can't wait to get a better bearing on things and be happy again, truly happy. I need a release and I need to put things behind me. It takes time. Time is the most amazing remedy for anything there ever was. Time will get you by, it will pass, the hurt and pain and agony and wailing and sadness will all disperse once you reach that point of splendor that you've been longing for and deserve so much. For your suffering, I believe you will be rewarded ten fold in the future, when the moment is right, and you will be...o.k...