If you wanted honesty thats all you had to say...

[bledingspdrbite]

Things aren't okay. I'll let you know that much, my wrist is all cut up and at lunch Charlie ripped it open but its okay because he didn't know they were there. I think he's kinda upset with me about it and I don't really blame him. Josh looks sick as hell, but he's still the love of my life and I miss him so much. I know that's so wrong to do, switch from boyfriend to Josh but I can't help it. I'm in soooooo much pain. So much for my sxe thing. I was working on it then I decided to say fuck it. Took a ciggerat from Indie at third lunch. I'm sick. I couldn't go straight edge even if I wanted to because Friday charlie's sayed if I do go straight edge he's blowin the meanest shotty in my mouth ever. which i'm so going to beat him for. lol (for those of you who don't know what a shotty is its when you take a blunt and stick the lit end in your mouth and blow the smoke out and the other person inhales ALL the smoke that's being blown out) It's fucking freeeeeezing outside and I have like three minutes left in this class. -shrug- I want to die and that's the end of it all. I hate feeling this way. I miss Josh. More than I've missed anything. I have to go I guess my teachers mad dumb. adios mofos.

~Sam

-I'm not okay (I promise)-