I don't know, who I am.
Facebook message written to Elliot -- no response.
Just thought I'd let you know that the parcel never arrived. I've made the assumption that you never sent it and perhaps threw my belongings away in fear that your relationship with Kate would suffer if she found the diary or questioned where the bear came from.
Elliot, I gave you that bear in good faith and honestly believed that you'd take care of something that didn't belong to you. My Nana knitted that for me because I passed my driver's licence, because she was proud of me and because she thought I'd need to hug something from time to time and now she's dead. She died Elliot. She died before my 21st birthday and she died before replying to the last letter that I sent. One of the last things that she gave me was that bear and I'm never going to see it again, and I'm never going to get a card or a letter or a phone call from her ever again. I'm so angry at myself for trusting you. I'm so disappointed with myself for trying to help you. I wanted the best for you, why do I fell like such a bad person for wanting that?
I fell completely in love with you, and you broke me.
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I'm stuck. I can't shake this or pretend that I don't care any more.
p.s I tried to book a ticket to Scotland to see Blur. Still in hope that I'll make it. I also made an online booking for the restaurant "The Loose Box" which I am in hope of taking Elodie and Gillian to in June. It's $150.00 per head, very hard to get into. Fingers crossed. I am paying.
Conclusion; boys seem to get the better of me. Stop wearing the heart on the sleeve. Stop taking me for granted, stop falling in love, stop dying.
MUST NOT tell boy that you like them, this will cause the end of communication. DO NOT tell boy that you like him, or that you wear your heart on your sleeve, or even dare make cupcakes for him, especially not coffee favoured. Oh no.