(no subject)
I'm still going through the bleach-sues archive and here is the next one.
Title: A Night's Rain, A Heart's Pain
Name: Yei
Suethor: shadowofmyself435
Pairings: none
Stats:: 1001 words, and 1 reviews
Rating:: Yachiru
Appearance: “pale purple eyes”
Background: Her mom kills her and Ichigo crosses her over.
Sue Qualifications: The only qualification for this really is the fact she has purple eyes and perhaps the fact her death seems a tad implausible. It actually isn't that bad... it is really good.
Annoying Attributes: I think it is the author's note that really caused this to be labeled as a Mary Sue. The writer comments on the fact that she came over from Quizella. She also says “[She] tried to tell [someone] how [out-of-story layout of the characters] helps both the author and the reader.” So she decided to write a story where she didn't use one and it is honestly her best, which actually proves her point that they help the reader and writer wrong.
Sample:
The night clouds were pouring the rain in buckets. I didn't care. I don't think I was getting wet. I'm dead. After another day of drinking and blaming me for her pitiful life, my mom couldn't stand me any longer. She killed me. Stabbed through the head, I never saw it coming.
Her only daughter, Yei. I hate my name. Yei, thriving. I'm not thriving; you can't thrive and be dead.
I walked down the street. No one was out but it didn't matter. I can't be seen. Not even when I was alive. All my mom cared about was that dad left her because he didn't love me. I didn't do anything wrong; I was a good daughter. Just…not what they wanted.
I turned my pale purple eyes to look behind me. I felt like someone was following me but I decided to ignore it, brushing my short brown hair back. I dragged my feet along the cement. I wondered, would anyone care? I didn't have many friends. Would my mom get caught? I hope she rots in jail, but I know she's not stupid either. I wrapped my arms around my thin frame. I wasn't cold; I just wanted to feel arms hold me. I was consumed with my thoughts and feeling pitiful that I never noticed the monster reaching her me. I did, however, notice the orange haired boy pull me away.
"Are you crazy? That hollow is going to eat you!" He yelled at me. I gazed at him, confused. He was wearing a strange black kosode and hakama uniform. And he held a huge sword. I backed away from him and into a black haired girl with large violet eyes.