[Log] The Closet (Party log)
Title: The Closet (Party log)
Characters: Shunsui (kellenanne) & Toushirou (davyn)
Timeline: September 1, 2007
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Shunsui and Toushirou meet for the first time. Up close. Personal. With brooms.
Damn.
He stared at the door in front of him; head cocked neatly to the side (really it was impressive to be able to stand this way and not fall over) and kept right on staring. He knew there was a reason that he didn’t drink, and he was even more sure he would figure out exactly what that was tomorrow when he could think straight. As it was he was trying to discover how in the hell he was stuck staring at a door and wondering if it was the proper path to…
… what was he looking for in the first place? He blinked. Right, he knew he was here for a reason. He just had to remember what it was. This had to be Matsumoto’s fault somehow, he knew it. It was always her fault when he couldn’t figure something out.
Blond menace. A menace to the whole of society; how exactly he would decide tomorrow. At least at a later date. When he wasn’t in danger of falling over because his head was tilted the wrong direction.
He blinked at the door again. If he was here for a reason that meant he might as well go in yes? If he went in then he could figure out what was needed from there. He nodded and mentally patted himself on the back for his brilliant logic - he was a genius. He even remembered how to twist the door handle correctly in order to get the door open. He had no idea how he remembered to get the door open, he was just going to testify it to his genius.
Because he was, a genius that was. He was at least sure of that much.
He broke that train of thought and went back to the door, which opened without much trouble and he was careful to keep the door propped open with the little stick of wood kept outside of the door.
He had no idea why the door would lock if he let the door close on him, but he was very sure that the door needed to stay open.
So it would.
Genius again.
It was a good party; Shunsui hadn't had an opportunity to get this drunk in awhile. Open bars, you know. They facilitated things. He blinked and yawned, slipping through a few people here and there.
Well... more like stumbling around people and laughing raucously when he bumped into someone. Most of the time, they laughed back. Sometimes, Shunsui ended up retreating quickly.
Some people had really scary glares. Really, where did they get such glares from, and why hadn't he been blessed with one? It would come in damn handy, what with drunks plowing into him.
Except he was the drunk plowing into people.
Right. Whatever. It wasn't important. Woman liked smiles more than glares, right?
He was headed for the bathroom, so really, it didn't matter who glared at him. Or laughed at him. Unless there was laughing in the bathroom; that wasn't kosher. That never happened, though, so it didn't bear thinking about.
He stumbled around a corner and spied an open door. He grinned; that had to be it. He couldn't get lost heading for the bathroom. That was just wrong on so many levels. With a little shrug and a promise to the party behind him that he'd be back in just a few short minutes, he waltzed right through the door and slammed it shut behind him.
Because that's what you did with a bathroom door.
He was pretty sure… was he here for the Lysol or the really strong looking cleaning stuff? He blinked at them both, one in each hand. He was pretty sure that someone had… did they get sick or was that really just the image he kept in his head in order to deter himself from bars.
Most likely Rangiku as well, damn blond menace. She deserved to be referenced as gagging and throwing up; she was too high on herself as it was. He sighed and decided that he would just take them both. That would even out his poor brains inability to remember which one he was after.
He nodded in satisfaction. He really was good when he couldn’t think of much. Though he had to admit that didn’t explain the slam or the sudden lack of light. He blinked at the bottles he knew were in his hands.
Now what? Surely he hadn’t managed to kill all the lights in the place with his super mental abilities did he? He was pretty sure he wasn’t that awesome.
Shunsui didn't even register that there was no light in the bathroom until he ran right into something - something that gave and grunted. He stumbled, crashed against... something else... and set things to rattling.
Pretty sure things didn't rattle in the bathroom. Not like that.
And urinals didn't grunt.
Unless... this was a really fancy bar. Or really seedy. One of the two.
"Pretty sure there wasn't an urinal standing in the front of the door last time I was here."
Had that been a different bathroom? How many bathrooms were in this bar?
He turned and blinked at the voice. Bathroom? Obviously he was not possessed of the same high mental thoughts that he was.
“This is not a bathroom.”
If he started peeing he would arrest him for public indecency.
“I will arrest you.” He was the Chief Investigator of the police, he could arrest anyone. He was really awesome that way.
And he had not been given fair warning. He blinked.
Wait… had he shut the door?
He should arrest him for that alone.
Shunsui shook his head. No, this had to be the bathroom. People just didn't get lost heading for such an important place. And, hell, Shunsui never got lost. He always ended up somewhere. "No, I'm pretty sure this is the bathroom." There was just no other possibility.
But why would the bathroom be this dark? Who was the idiot who'd turned off the lights last? Really, they should know better. Drunk people would be trying to piss in here. They needed light.
He blinked slowly, turning in a small circle and hands stretched out. "Why are the lights off? And what's with the arresting? 'm just going to the bathroom." His hands brushed against something soft and... soft... Soft hair. His fingers curled in it. Huh. "You can't be a urinal. They don't have hair. 'less you count the occasional pubes." He pulled at the hair. "This is kinda long to be those."
He had to think about that one for a moment.
First there was what obviously had to be a man's hand in his hair, which was wrong. Then he said something about pubes… which was… He froze, eyes widening to large portions. His hair was… that was such a no.
So he did the only dignified thing he had to his name. He kicked him or at least tried to kick him. Tried to kick him as hard as he could.
“Do you want to get shot?” he demanded before the blow could land. Pubes? He would handcuff him to the door and then shoot him, again. Just for the pleasure of it.
Damn idiot was lucky his hands were full of cleaning products or he already would have shot him!
Shunsui yelped when something that felt suspiciously like a foot connected with his shin. (Or rather glanced off the side of his shin, but, hell, it still hurt.) It was a small foot, a lot like... well, hey, just like that girl Alicia's foot. Roughly the same size and strength behind him.
Yeah, just like getting kicked by good ol' Alicia from Minnesota.
He lost his balance, arms pin wheeling and knocking things off the shelves, and then pitched forward. He caught himself - or rather the hairy-not-a-urinal caught him, head resting on a shoulder and arms hanging down the not-a-urinal's back.
He blinked. That as fun. His hands settled against the not-a-urinal, so as to push himself back to his feet, but he paused.
He never passed up an opportunity to feel up what could be a fine ass. He squeezed a little, then patted, frowning. "Little flat, dontcha think?" he asked the not-a-urinal.
There was a lot of banging around in which he was starting to think the gnomes were attacking or something. He didn’t know why the gnomes were attacking but it was really the only logical thing that could really be said to explain this.
He should know. He was made of logic. Only then the idiot in the room with him decided that he was a coat hanger. Why he thought he was a coat hanger he had no idea. He snorted and tried to remember the correct way to make his hands work, only to realize he was still holding the cleaning supplies.
Well… damn. Didn’t want to drop those; he dropped those he might not be able to find them again… did he just grope his ass? No. No.
No.
No man (and very few women) got the privilege of groping his ass. That was just the way it was.
Flat? What did he think he was a woman? Of course he had a flat ass! He was a man! He worked out! This idiot was more idiotic every second that he was in the same room with him. He snorted and went to kick him again. Hell if he was dropping the things that he came in here for and hell if he got to just grope his ass like he had some rights or privileges.
This was a storage closet! Not the bathroom! And not the dance floor either!
He lashed out again and had just enough time to blink in realization that he had kicked too hard, which knocked him off balance and promptly put him on his ass.
At least his ass wasn’t being groped any more.
He was still shooting him.
There was some more kicking. Not-a-urinal had worse aim than Alicia ever did. She at least managed to get him in the balls a few times. Not-a-urinal needed to work on that aim.
Also needed to work on balance. Shunsui fell forward as his support fell back. He had no idea what happened, or how exactly he found himself with his face nestled against a collarbone - kind of sharp one - and his hands pinned under a (smallish) back. At least he wasn't groping that flat ass anymore.
"I always liked 'em a little rounded," he muttered. "No 'ffense or anything." He would have patted the poor rejected not-a-urinal's head - really, needed a name. "Can I call you Pam? I knew a girl named Pam once. No-ass Pam." Good name. Fit not-a-urinal. No-ass Pam. Maybe Sharp-collarbone Joan, but really No-ass Pam was... shorter. And less rhyme-y. Worked better for a drunken tongues. "No-ass Pam was desperate, too. 's okay, though. It's all understandable."
He paused, blinking and snorting a little when he couldn't see anything. "Don't hafta be 'shamed of it. We can go somewhere with a little light. An' a bed." Or at least a place where he could, you know, move a little. "Kinda cramped in this bathroom. Speakin' of, I gotta find the bathroom first."
He wanted to pat No-ass Pam's cheek. Poor thing; needed reassured. "An' if I could find ya, I'd kiss ya. All girls're pretty somehow."
See? He was a gentleman, through and through.
Kind of a horny one. No-ass Pam had certainly chosen the right person.
His brain stopped. Came to a grinding halt so fast he was pretty sure he could feel the cogs and bells and whistles that controlled his brain just… come to a screeching hault. There was just no other explanation or term for what was going on in his head.
He could not comprehend this one. On no. This was more than just stupidity… this was out right hallucinations.
How drunk was this guy?
Kiss? Pretty girl? Kiss? Him? Desperate?
Bed?
“Not,” he rolled, hoping to god he managed to dislodge the idiot, “a fucking girl.”
Not only was he going to shoot him, he was going to kick him in the fucking head until he got some fucking sense.
Starting as soon as he could find his hands. He was dead. Just as soon as he found his hands.
Idiot.
Shunsui grunted when No-ass Pam rolled and just managed to move his arm out of the way. Sorta. Still managed to brush that flat ass. Thank God.
"So, wait," he said, laying on the floor and scratching his head. "You're not a fucking girl so... I won't be fucking No-ass Pam again?" He blinked again, trying to process this. "Thank God. Girl was all bone. Nothing to hold onto."
He rolled onto his side, poking the body beside him. "No 'ffense, but I don' roll that way. So, if you wan' fuckin', you gotta find someone else to jump."
He didn’t roll that way did he? God if he wasn’t already going to have a hangover in the morning thanks to Matsumoto (the blond menace) he would just give into the urge to succumb to a migraine thanks to the idiot in front of him.
“You jumped me.” He decided that holding onto the cleaning solution was just too much. He was a trained fighting machine (damn smart one, too) he would kill him. “Apparently you roll that way.”
He snarled when he poked him. “Don’t fucking touch me.” There would be no rolling, no touching, no groping his ass and no bed. He was the law and he said so. But hell if he was getting away with groping and… and… He wasn’t getting away with it!
He looked at the cleaner, couldn't quite see it, but looked at it. He agreed with his earlier conclusion, it was just too much to hold onto this any longer.
He threw the cleaner.
He heard... something... but it didn't register as anything bad. Just some shuffling and some snarling and a little bit of denial. (Poor Pam. One should never deny one's sexuality. Just made people all sad and shit.)
Never expected anything to hit him square in the nose. He grunted, falling backward and hands flying to his nose. "Ow!" What the hell? He'd been helping Pam out. Ungrateful little no-ass punk! "Hey! I's helpin', damn it!" He gingerly probed his nose, licking blood off his upper lip. Little brat.
His hand hit something on the floor, nice and heavy. Good weight. Might even been the thing that clocked him in the nose. He snatched it and heaved it in what he hoped was the direction of the brat no-ass kid.
...his nose hurt. One hand covering his poor, throbbing nose - how did someone have such good aim in the dark anyway? - he rolled to his knees.
Had to defend himself. Probably couldn't do that lying on the floor.
He stood up, rubbing his nose lightly. "Ow..."
He'd just wanted to go to the bathroom. No-ass Pam here was the insane one.
He said ow. He considered it to be part of his rather amazing abilities that he made him say ow in the dark with nothing to aim out.
Damn he was good.
He pushed to his feet, rather slowly and rather drunkenly, but to his feet he went never the less. He smirked at that. On his feet, injured the idiot and survived the whole ordeal with no injury to himself.
… now he just had to make the door open.
Damn.
Shunsui drew himself up to his full height - and it was pretty impressive, at that, and smoothed down his hair. It was hard to look dignified with a bloody nose and as drunk as he was but damned if he wasn't going to try.
Being in the dark helped. It hid the swaying.
"You," he said, pointing in the general direction he thought No-ass Pam was in, "are an ungrateful little shit."
He took a deep breath. "Now tell me where the bathroom is."
He ignored his comments grandly. Really he was an idiot if he didn’t realize they were in a storage closet and most likely locked in. He had not yet gotten the will to test it. He paused.
All this talking was making him have to think harder which was bad for his head.
“Shut the fuck up.”
He felt so much better getting to ignore propriety and politeness and just sinking down into the depths of uncaring drunkenness and swearing. Tomorrow he wouldn’t even remember this probably and that was fine by him. Being locked in a closet was so not something he wanted to remember.
Swearing was good though - straight to the point.
Almost made his head stop hurting.
Shut the...? Well, that was classless. Shunsui snorted - and then choked because snorting with a bloody nose was damned stupid but he was going to blame that on No-ass Pam, too. No-ass caused. Was the cause of this all.
This called for drastic measures.
Deliberately, he took a step forward, put his hands up and shoved. He was going to a different bathroom. Wasn't going to hang around here with a no-ass punk.
He pushed him. Pushed him. Pushed the law! He was the law! Could arrest him! Shoot him! Kick his ass! And he pushed him like some nancy girl. Right into the broom or to be more exact, pushed his ass into the broom that some asshole had left at a cocked position.
He yelped (a thing which he would later deny) and stumbled hitting the shelves to the side of him and jarring his shoulder. Hell if he would pat his ass… but damn that hurt. He reached over and grabbed the broom, fingers tightening around it in protest.
First he was almost molested by a drunk idiot and now the broom had accosted him.
He growled.
That was it. He was beating nancy boy to death with the broom. The broom that had tried to shove itself up his ass.
Damn broom, damn man, damn Matsumoto. They would all find themselves in jail - he didn’t even need a reason now.
Then he was shooting them. All of them. Including the broom.
Shunsui narrowed his eyes; he could barely see the punk grab something - after yelping spectacularly; what a voice! - and swing it toward him.
Oh, no. Hell, no, he was not getting anymore blood on himself. One hit in the nose was bad enough. He reached over toward the shelves he'd hit earlier and grabbed the first thing he touched.
Square and cardboard and full of trash bags. Might not hold up so well against a broom. Who cared? It was a weapon. Anything in Shunsui's hand was a deadly weapon.
At least that's what he liked to think.
There was a rattling at the door and Shunsui cocked his arm to throw. He was going down with a fight, that's for sure. Of course, that was before he realized that the rattling at the door meant the door was actually opening.
The room was suddenly flooded with light and Shunsui threw the box of trash bags. Unfortunately, his aim was a little off and it bounced off the wall, but the point was... something. Squinting against the light, he poking a swaying finger at No-ass Pam. "Wanna arrest somebody? Then arrest the broom for assault. It came at me."
With that he turned on his heel, grabbed the shelving to keep from falling on his ass, and brushed past the shocked looking employee holding the door.
And promptly stumbled into the opposite wall.
"Oh, my nooo~ooose..."
Toushirou stared at the nancy boy who was walking out of the room. Arrest the broom? Like hell, well okay maybe, but he was arresting nancy boy first.
He snarled and threw the boom to the ground. Screw this. He was going home, immediately, to his own bed. He didn’t get accosted by brooms in his own house.
Didn’t have to fight nancy boys in his closet either. He turned his glare on the young man who had opened the closet who was blinking at him. He was adding kill Matsumoto to his list of things as well.
She got him drunk then sent him to the damn closet. She probably planned this the whole time. His eyes narrowed a little more. She was dead to.
“Hey man,” the younger man said seriously. “Its okay, you can come out of the closet now.”
First on his list however, was that moron. Come out of the closet? Like he would.
Damn. He hated this bar.
Characters: Shunsui (kellenanne) & Toushirou (davyn)
Timeline: September 1, 2007
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Shunsui and Toushirou meet for the first time. Up close. Personal. With brooms.
Damn.
He stared at the door in front of him; head cocked neatly to the side (really it was impressive to be able to stand this way and not fall over) and kept right on staring. He knew there was a reason that he didn’t drink, and he was even more sure he would figure out exactly what that was tomorrow when he could think straight. As it was he was trying to discover how in the hell he was stuck staring at a door and wondering if it was the proper path to…
… what was he looking for in the first place? He blinked. Right, he knew he was here for a reason. He just had to remember what it was. This had to be Matsumoto’s fault somehow, he knew it. It was always her fault when he couldn’t figure something out.
Blond menace. A menace to the whole of society; how exactly he would decide tomorrow. At least at a later date. When he wasn’t in danger of falling over because his head was tilted the wrong direction.
He blinked at the door again. If he was here for a reason that meant he might as well go in yes? If he went in then he could figure out what was needed from there. He nodded and mentally patted himself on the back for his brilliant logic - he was a genius. He even remembered how to twist the door handle correctly in order to get the door open. He had no idea how he remembered to get the door open, he was just going to testify it to his genius.
Because he was, a genius that was. He was at least sure of that much.
He broke that train of thought and went back to the door, which opened without much trouble and he was careful to keep the door propped open with the little stick of wood kept outside of the door.
He had no idea why the door would lock if he let the door close on him, but he was very sure that the door needed to stay open.
So it would.
Genius again.
It was a good party; Shunsui hadn't had an opportunity to get this drunk in awhile. Open bars, you know. They facilitated things. He blinked and yawned, slipping through a few people here and there.
Well... more like stumbling around people and laughing raucously when he bumped into someone. Most of the time, they laughed back. Sometimes, Shunsui ended up retreating quickly.
Some people had really scary glares. Really, where did they get such glares from, and why hadn't he been blessed with one? It would come in damn handy, what with drunks plowing into him.
Except he was the drunk plowing into people.
Right. Whatever. It wasn't important. Woman liked smiles more than glares, right?
He was headed for the bathroom, so really, it didn't matter who glared at him. Or laughed at him. Unless there was laughing in the bathroom; that wasn't kosher. That never happened, though, so it didn't bear thinking about.
He stumbled around a corner and spied an open door. He grinned; that had to be it. He couldn't get lost heading for the bathroom. That was just wrong on so many levels. With a little shrug and a promise to the party behind him that he'd be back in just a few short minutes, he waltzed right through the door and slammed it shut behind him.
Because that's what you did with a bathroom door.
He was pretty sure… was he here for the Lysol or the really strong looking cleaning stuff? He blinked at them both, one in each hand. He was pretty sure that someone had… did they get sick or was that really just the image he kept in his head in order to deter himself from bars.
Most likely Rangiku as well, damn blond menace. She deserved to be referenced as gagging and throwing up; she was too high on herself as it was. He sighed and decided that he would just take them both. That would even out his poor brains inability to remember which one he was after.
He nodded in satisfaction. He really was good when he couldn’t think of much. Though he had to admit that didn’t explain the slam or the sudden lack of light. He blinked at the bottles he knew were in his hands.
Now what? Surely he hadn’t managed to kill all the lights in the place with his super mental abilities did he? He was pretty sure he wasn’t that awesome.
Shunsui didn't even register that there was no light in the bathroom until he ran right into something - something that gave and grunted. He stumbled, crashed against... something else... and set things to rattling.
Pretty sure things didn't rattle in the bathroom. Not like that.
And urinals didn't grunt.
Unless... this was a really fancy bar. Or really seedy. One of the two.
"Pretty sure there wasn't an urinal standing in the front of the door last time I was here."
Had that been a different bathroom? How many bathrooms were in this bar?
He turned and blinked at the voice. Bathroom? Obviously he was not possessed of the same high mental thoughts that he was.
“This is not a bathroom.”
If he started peeing he would arrest him for public indecency.
“I will arrest you.” He was the Chief Investigator of the police, he could arrest anyone. He was really awesome that way.
And he had not been given fair warning. He blinked.
Wait… had he shut the door?
He should arrest him for that alone.
Shunsui shook his head. No, this had to be the bathroom. People just didn't get lost heading for such an important place. And, hell, Shunsui never got lost. He always ended up somewhere. "No, I'm pretty sure this is the bathroom." There was just no other possibility.
But why would the bathroom be this dark? Who was the idiot who'd turned off the lights last? Really, they should know better. Drunk people would be trying to piss in here. They needed light.
He blinked slowly, turning in a small circle and hands stretched out. "Why are the lights off? And what's with the arresting? 'm just going to the bathroom." His hands brushed against something soft and... soft... Soft hair. His fingers curled in it. Huh. "You can't be a urinal. They don't have hair. 'less you count the occasional pubes." He pulled at the hair. "This is kinda long to be those."
He had to think about that one for a moment.
First there was what obviously had to be a man's hand in his hair, which was wrong. Then he said something about pubes… which was… He froze, eyes widening to large portions. His hair was… that was such a no.
So he did the only dignified thing he had to his name. He kicked him or at least tried to kick him. Tried to kick him as hard as he could.
“Do you want to get shot?” he demanded before the blow could land. Pubes? He would handcuff him to the door and then shoot him, again. Just for the pleasure of it.
Damn idiot was lucky his hands were full of cleaning products or he already would have shot him!
Shunsui yelped when something that felt suspiciously like a foot connected with his shin. (Or rather glanced off the side of his shin, but, hell, it still hurt.) It was a small foot, a lot like... well, hey, just like that girl Alicia's foot. Roughly the same size and strength behind him.
Yeah, just like getting kicked by good ol' Alicia from Minnesota.
He lost his balance, arms pin wheeling and knocking things off the shelves, and then pitched forward. He caught himself - or rather the hairy-not-a-urinal caught him, head resting on a shoulder and arms hanging down the not-a-urinal's back.
He blinked. That as fun. His hands settled against the not-a-urinal, so as to push himself back to his feet, but he paused.
He never passed up an opportunity to feel up what could be a fine ass. He squeezed a little, then patted, frowning. "Little flat, dontcha think?" he asked the not-a-urinal.
There was a lot of banging around in which he was starting to think the gnomes were attacking or something. He didn’t know why the gnomes were attacking but it was really the only logical thing that could really be said to explain this.
He should know. He was made of logic. Only then the idiot in the room with him decided that he was a coat hanger. Why he thought he was a coat hanger he had no idea. He snorted and tried to remember the correct way to make his hands work, only to realize he was still holding the cleaning supplies.
Well… damn. Didn’t want to drop those; he dropped those he might not be able to find them again… did he just grope his ass? No. No.
No.
No man (and very few women) got the privilege of groping his ass. That was just the way it was.
Flat? What did he think he was a woman? Of course he had a flat ass! He was a man! He worked out! This idiot was more idiotic every second that he was in the same room with him. He snorted and went to kick him again. Hell if he was dropping the things that he came in here for and hell if he got to just grope his ass like he had some rights or privileges.
This was a storage closet! Not the bathroom! And not the dance floor either!
He lashed out again and had just enough time to blink in realization that he had kicked too hard, which knocked him off balance and promptly put him on his ass.
At least his ass wasn’t being groped any more.
He was still shooting him.
There was some more kicking. Not-a-urinal had worse aim than Alicia ever did. She at least managed to get him in the balls a few times. Not-a-urinal needed to work on that aim.
Also needed to work on balance. Shunsui fell forward as his support fell back. He had no idea what happened, or how exactly he found himself with his face nestled against a collarbone - kind of sharp one - and his hands pinned under a (smallish) back. At least he wasn't groping that flat ass anymore.
"I always liked 'em a little rounded," he muttered. "No 'ffense or anything." He would have patted the poor rejected not-a-urinal's head - really, needed a name. "Can I call you Pam? I knew a girl named Pam once. No-ass Pam." Good name. Fit not-a-urinal. No-ass Pam. Maybe Sharp-collarbone Joan, but really No-ass Pam was... shorter. And less rhyme-y. Worked better for a drunken tongues. "No-ass Pam was desperate, too. 's okay, though. It's all understandable."
He paused, blinking and snorting a little when he couldn't see anything. "Don't hafta be 'shamed of it. We can go somewhere with a little light. An' a bed." Or at least a place where he could, you know, move a little. "Kinda cramped in this bathroom. Speakin' of, I gotta find the bathroom first."
He wanted to pat No-ass Pam's cheek. Poor thing; needed reassured. "An' if I could find ya, I'd kiss ya. All girls're pretty somehow."
See? He was a gentleman, through and through.
Kind of a horny one. No-ass Pam had certainly chosen the right person.
His brain stopped. Came to a grinding halt so fast he was pretty sure he could feel the cogs and bells and whistles that controlled his brain just… come to a screeching hault. There was just no other explanation or term for what was going on in his head.
He could not comprehend this one. On no. This was more than just stupidity… this was out right hallucinations.
How drunk was this guy?
Kiss? Pretty girl? Kiss? Him? Desperate?
Bed?
“Not,” he rolled, hoping to god he managed to dislodge the idiot, “a fucking girl.”
Not only was he going to shoot him, he was going to kick him in the fucking head until he got some fucking sense.
Starting as soon as he could find his hands. He was dead. Just as soon as he found his hands.
Idiot.
Shunsui grunted when No-ass Pam rolled and just managed to move his arm out of the way. Sorta. Still managed to brush that flat ass. Thank God.
"So, wait," he said, laying on the floor and scratching his head. "You're not a fucking girl so... I won't be fucking No-ass Pam again?" He blinked again, trying to process this. "Thank God. Girl was all bone. Nothing to hold onto."
He rolled onto his side, poking the body beside him. "No 'ffense, but I don' roll that way. So, if you wan' fuckin', you gotta find someone else to jump."
He didn’t roll that way did he? God if he wasn’t already going to have a hangover in the morning thanks to Matsumoto (the blond menace) he would just give into the urge to succumb to a migraine thanks to the idiot in front of him.
“You jumped me.” He decided that holding onto the cleaning solution was just too much. He was a trained fighting machine (damn smart one, too) he would kill him. “Apparently you roll that way.”
He snarled when he poked him. “Don’t fucking touch me.” There would be no rolling, no touching, no groping his ass and no bed. He was the law and he said so. But hell if he was getting away with groping and… and… He wasn’t getting away with it!
He looked at the cleaner, couldn't quite see it, but looked at it. He agreed with his earlier conclusion, it was just too much to hold onto this any longer.
He threw the cleaner.
He heard... something... but it didn't register as anything bad. Just some shuffling and some snarling and a little bit of denial. (Poor Pam. One should never deny one's sexuality. Just made people all sad and shit.)
Never expected anything to hit him square in the nose. He grunted, falling backward and hands flying to his nose. "Ow!" What the hell? He'd been helping Pam out. Ungrateful little no-ass punk! "Hey! I's helpin', damn it!" He gingerly probed his nose, licking blood off his upper lip. Little brat.
His hand hit something on the floor, nice and heavy. Good weight. Might even been the thing that clocked him in the nose. He snatched it and heaved it in what he hoped was the direction of the brat no-ass kid.
...his nose hurt. One hand covering his poor, throbbing nose - how did someone have such good aim in the dark anyway? - he rolled to his knees.
Had to defend himself. Probably couldn't do that lying on the floor.
He stood up, rubbing his nose lightly. "Ow..."
He'd just wanted to go to the bathroom. No-ass Pam here was the insane one.
He said ow. He considered it to be part of his rather amazing abilities that he made him say ow in the dark with nothing to aim out.
Damn he was good.
He pushed to his feet, rather slowly and rather drunkenly, but to his feet he went never the less. He smirked at that. On his feet, injured the idiot and survived the whole ordeal with no injury to himself.
… now he just had to make the door open.
Damn.
Shunsui drew himself up to his full height - and it was pretty impressive, at that, and smoothed down his hair. It was hard to look dignified with a bloody nose and as drunk as he was but damned if he wasn't going to try.
Being in the dark helped. It hid the swaying.
"You," he said, pointing in the general direction he thought No-ass Pam was in, "are an ungrateful little shit."
He took a deep breath. "Now tell me where the bathroom is."
He ignored his comments grandly. Really he was an idiot if he didn’t realize they were in a storage closet and most likely locked in. He had not yet gotten the will to test it. He paused.
All this talking was making him have to think harder which was bad for his head.
“Shut the fuck up.”
He felt so much better getting to ignore propriety and politeness and just sinking down into the depths of uncaring drunkenness and swearing. Tomorrow he wouldn’t even remember this probably and that was fine by him. Being locked in a closet was so not something he wanted to remember.
Swearing was good though - straight to the point.
Almost made his head stop hurting.
Shut the...? Well, that was classless. Shunsui snorted - and then choked because snorting with a bloody nose was damned stupid but he was going to blame that on No-ass Pam, too. No-ass caused. Was the cause of this all.
This called for drastic measures.
Deliberately, he took a step forward, put his hands up and shoved. He was going to a different bathroom. Wasn't going to hang around here with a no-ass punk.
He pushed him. Pushed him. Pushed the law! He was the law! Could arrest him! Shoot him! Kick his ass! And he pushed him like some nancy girl. Right into the broom or to be more exact, pushed his ass into the broom that some asshole had left at a cocked position.
He yelped (a thing which he would later deny) and stumbled hitting the shelves to the side of him and jarring his shoulder. Hell if he would pat his ass… but damn that hurt. He reached over and grabbed the broom, fingers tightening around it in protest.
First he was almost molested by a drunk idiot and now the broom had accosted him.
He growled.
That was it. He was beating nancy boy to death with the broom. The broom that had tried to shove itself up his ass.
Damn broom, damn man, damn Matsumoto. They would all find themselves in jail - he didn’t even need a reason now.
Then he was shooting them. All of them. Including the broom.
Shunsui narrowed his eyes; he could barely see the punk grab something - after yelping spectacularly; what a voice! - and swing it toward him.
Oh, no. Hell, no, he was not getting anymore blood on himself. One hit in the nose was bad enough. He reached over toward the shelves he'd hit earlier and grabbed the first thing he touched.
Square and cardboard and full of trash bags. Might not hold up so well against a broom. Who cared? It was a weapon. Anything in Shunsui's hand was a deadly weapon.
At least that's what he liked to think.
There was a rattling at the door and Shunsui cocked his arm to throw. He was going down with a fight, that's for sure. Of course, that was before he realized that the rattling at the door meant the door was actually opening.
The room was suddenly flooded with light and Shunsui threw the box of trash bags. Unfortunately, his aim was a little off and it bounced off the wall, but the point was... something. Squinting against the light, he poking a swaying finger at No-ass Pam. "Wanna arrest somebody? Then arrest the broom for assault. It came at me."
With that he turned on his heel, grabbed the shelving to keep from falling on his ass, and brushed past the shocked looking employee holding the door.
And promptly stumbled into the opposite wall.
"Oh, my nooo~ooose..."
Toushirou stared at the nancy boy who was walking out of the room. Arrest the broom? Like hell, well okay maybe, but he was arresting nancy boy first.
He snarled and threw the boom to the ground. Screw this. He was going home, immediately, to his own bed. He didn’t get accosted by brooms in his own house.
Didn’t have to fight nancy boys in his closet either. He turned his glare on the young man who had opened the closet who was blinking at him. He was adding kill Matsumoto to his list of things as well.
She got him drunk then sent him to the damn closet. She probably planned this the whole time. His eyes narrowed a little more. She was dead to.
“Hey man,” the younger man said seriously. “Its okay, you can come out of the closet now.”
First on his list however, was that moron. Come out of the closet? Like he would.
Damn. He hated this bar.