Dear Diary,
Written in an elegantly tooled black leather-bound book. Said book is held closed with a distressingly complicated-looking locking mechanism which is attached via thin metal and rubber tubing to a slim, but ominous, brass canister bound to the spine.
Well, that was a bit of an eye-opener.
The Doc can give quite the lecture when she wants. I did not enjoy it, but it's probably what I needed to hear right now.
It's left me wanting only to slink away and hide. Again. But I don't have that luxury anymore.
A door I thought was closed is still open, but right now all I can see of it are the jaws of a trap. And it terrifies me.
The philosophy of life i've been raised with, do as you're told and take what you can as you get the chance, doesn't work for me anymore. I knew it wouldn't, I just didn't know how hard it was going to be to let go of it. Or how hard to find something to replace it. I've grabbed all I could, gathered up so many threads of a life, things to be, wishes, hopes, regrets, loves, loyalties, but they're all disconnected and tangled. I've been trying to be everything, and have succeeded in being nothing. I've gotten broken somewhere along the way, and now I'm a gear whose teeth have been ground down. I'm turning as hard as I can, but doing no one any good. I'm only jamming up the machine.
I'm starting to see that any choices I make will hurt. I've made some big mistakes, and I can't avoid that. But the Doc's pointed me to a few places that can help. I might not have to figure it all out on my own.
Well, that was a bit of an eye-opener.
The Doc can give quite the lecture when she wants. I did not enjoy it, but it's probably what I needed to hear right now.
It's left me wanting only to slink away and hide. Again. But I don't have that luxury anymore.
A door I thought was closed is still open, but right now all I can see of it are the jaws of a trap. And it terrifies me.
The philosophy of life i've been raised with, do as you're told and take what you can as you get the chance, doesn't work for me anymore. I knew it wouldn't, I just didn't know how hard it was going to be to let go of it. Or how hard to find something to replace it. I've grabbed all I could, gathered up so many threads of a life, things to be, wishes, hopes, regrets, loves, loyalties, but they're all disconnected and tangled. I've been trying to be everything, and have succeeded in being nothing. I've gotten broken somewhere along the way, and now I'm a gear whose teeth have been ground down. I'm turning as hard as I can, but doing no one any good. I'm only jamming up the machine.
I'm starting to see that any choices I make will hurt. I've made some big mistakes, and I can't avoid that. But the Doc's pointed me to a few places that can help. I might not have to figure it all out on my own.