(no subject)
Well jeez where to start....um....
Ended up in the cells for the night,yet again for serious assault,oops.Was in court the next day,gotta go to a trial thingy,and basically my lawyer said he doesn't think i'll get off with it this time,cuz it's happened before.Oh well.
Me and Alanna broke up,was really heart broken.Wouldn't have been as hurt if she had actually done it face to face,instead she done it over a text.Grrrr! Anywhoooo don't matter now cuz it's like she doesn't wana know me.Smashed my phone up cuz i got so angry that she txt me it again,it's all good though :D
So we broke up,me and Nikki got back together (this is the one i'm meant to be marrying next month :D) So now we're both happy and she says that she hates to see me so hurt,so we're taking things slow.We're good at talking and things,after all she is my best mate,so it shouldn't be too hard.HATES me spending money on her,but ah well lmao.
I've decided just to take things slow with her anyway,cuz i can't handle all the heart ache again.I'm thinking to myself what happens if i fall for her the way i fell for Alanna? I'd be completely devastated.She knows i still love Alanna and i know things about her,which i can't mention.I dunno i might work might not who knows.*shrugs*
Me and Darren had a big fall out.Was actually gna smack him.One of the staff (Cath) had to actually wrap her arms around me and lift me up the stairs.He pissed me off so much,i still love him though.Anywho,everything calmed down and i just wanted some space,and he came into the living room when i was watching Save the Last Dance,and kept talking to me and well told him to move cuz i was watchin the tv,he started to cry and started to kiss my neck,my hands,my face,and my lips.Said he was so sorry and i was his best mate,because we do everything together.That is true,if you see me,you usually see Darren with me.Sat night this all happened,and i was still awake up till bout 9am on the Sunday morning.Darren got lifted. :'( fuck my heart was broken.Just even thinking about him my hearts broken cuz i know he's not there,i have no-one to go places with or talk to or fall asleep cuddling into them either.I miss him so much.Don't know if he's in jail or not,haven't heard anything,i'll be the first one to hear anything though because i'm his best mate.My choice to say to the rest of the residents.Thinking bout going down to Ayr on Thursday to see his Gran anyway,so if he's there i'll see him,prolly start crying but hey :D.One thing i'll never forget though is Nicola L waved to him when he got in the cop car,and he stuck the finger up at her (usual thing for Darren to do :P) and he waved to me and shouted 'Karena your my best mate,never forget that,no matter what happens i'll always be here for you.Nothing's going to change just how much you mean to me.I love you,you are my best mate.' I honestly didn't start crying.I love him to bits,i honestly do.Uh-Oh i got tears rolling down my face again.
Ehhh what else has happened....Oh Oh Oh i sent my mum a txt giving her my house number cuz well i was thinking you know it's been 3 months since i last talked to her and it's killing me,maybe things have calmed down now.Anywho was unsure to send the txt,was shaking and things and then Nikki smacked the lips on me and pressed send at the same time.lol.Mum txt back and said that she was going to call me tomorrow (Sunday),but what's actually happened is,she can't read any of her txts,her phone's buggered.So my big sis is gna call her n give her my house number :D I can't wait to hear from my mum.Although Alanna said something bout my mum on Sat when me her and Darren went up to Beith,i didn't open my mouth.I REALLY wasn't happy with her,but hrmm i let it pass by anyway.I'm gettn fed up with people talking bout my mum.What went on between me and my mum went on between us,not you or anyone else for that matter.There's things that everyone don't know,things i've done for my mum,and it stays between us,unless of course i decide to tell you that's different.I've told Nikki,Nicky,Rachael and Darren bout it.So please i don't wana hear anyone talking bout my mum.She's MINE not yours,anywho,all your mum's ain't perfect are they? Think bout that one.
I feel so loved just now,things between me and my mum are going great.I have Nikki.Still feel suicidal but that's not the point.Hrmm life's pretty good just now.
Think that's bout all that's happened.Um.....yup! update tomorrow if anything happens.Bye bye xxx
Ended up in the cells for the night,yet again for serious assault,oops.Was in court the next day,gotta go to a trial thingy,and basically my lawyer said he doesn't think i'll get off with it this time,cuz it's happened before.Oh well.
Me and Alanna broke up,was really heart broken.Wouldn't have been as hurt if she had actually done it face to face,instead she done it over a text.Grrrr! Anywhoooo don't matter now cuz it's like she doesn't wana know me.Smashed my phone up cuz i got so angry that she txt me it again,it's all good though :D
So we broke up,me and Nikki got back together (this is the one i'm meant to be marrying next month :D) So now we're both happy and she says that she hates to see me so hurt,so we're taking things slow.We're good at talking and things,after all she is my best mate,so it shouldn't be too hard.HATES me spending money on her,but ah well lmao.
I've decided just to take things slow with her anyway,cuz i can't handle all the heart ache again.I'm thinking to myself what happens if i fall for her the way i fell for Alanna? I'd be completely devastated.She knows i still love Alanna and i know things about her,which i can't mention.I dunno i might work might not who knows.*shrugs*
Me and Darren had a big fall out.Was actually gna smack him.One of the staff (Cath) had to actually wrap her arms around me and lift me up the stairs.He pissed me off so much,i still love him though.Anywho,everything calmed down and i just wanted some space,and he came into the living room when i was watching Save the Last Dance,and kept talking to me and well told him to move cuz i was watchin the tv,he started to cry and started to kiss my neck,my hands,my face,and my lips.Said he was so sorry and i was his best mate,because we do everything together.That is true,if you see me,you usually see Darren with me.Sat night this all happened,and i was still awake up till bout 9am on the Sunday morning.Darren got lifted. :'( fuck my heart was broken.Just even thinking about him my hearts broken cuz i know he's not there,i have no-one to go places with or talk to or fall asleep cuddling into them either.I miss him so much.Don't know if he's in jail or not,haven't heard anything,i'll be the first one to hear anything though because i'm his best mate.My choice to say to the rest of the residents.Thinking bout going down to Ayr on Thursday to see his Gran anyway,so if he's there i'll see him,prolly start crying but hey :D.One thing i'll never forget though is Nicola L waved to him when he got in the cop car,and he stuck the finger up at her (usual thing for Darren to do :P) and he waved to me and shouted 'Karena your my best mate,never forget that,no matter what happens i'll always be here for you.Nothing's going to change just how much you mean to me.I love you,you are my best mate.' I honestly didn't start crying.I love him to bits,i honestly do.Uh-Oh i got tears rolling down my face again.
Ehhh what else has happened....Oh Oh Oh i sent my mum a txt giving her my house number cuz well i was thinking you know it's been 3 months since i last talked to her and it's killing me,maybe things have calmed down now.Anywho was unsure to send the txt,was shaking and things and then Nikki smacked the lips on me and pressed send at the same time.lol.Mum txt back and said that she was going to call me tomorrow (Sunday),but what's actually happened is,she can't read any of her txts,her phone's buggered.So my big sis is gna call her n give her my house number :D I can't wait to hear from my mum.Although Alanna said something bout my mum on Sat when me her and Darren went up to Beith,i didn't open my mouth.I REALLY wasn't happy with her,but hrmm i let it pass by anyway.I'm gettn fed up with people talking bout my mum.What went on between me and my mum went on between us,not you or anyone else for that matter.There's things that everyone don't know,things i've done for my mum,and it stays between us,unless of course i decide to tell you that's different.I've told Nikki,Nicky,Rachael and Darren bout it.So please i don't wana hear anyone talking bout my mum.She's MINE not yours,anywho,all your mum's ain't perfect are they? Think bout that one.
I feel so loved just now,things between me and my mum are going great.I have Nikki.Still feel suicidal but that's not the point.Hrmm life's pretty good just now.
Think that's bout all that's happened.Um.....yup! update tomorrow if anything happens.Bye bye xxx