Another Damn Scarf
I finished another scarf today. It started out as a pair of socks. I'd bought the yarn just so I could work on a pair of socks. Turns out it was a significantly different weight than the pattern calls for, and I just wasn't up to making the adjustments for something I'm not familiar doing just yet. So I made a scarf with the yarn instead. I could have worked on the tank top. I could have worked on Ugly Blanket II. I could have worked on the circle blanket. All things I need time and quiet at home to do so I can concentrate on them. All things that are not at all easily portable. But no, I worked on another scarf. No fancy stitches, no fancy techniques, just another damn scarf. Why? Well, yeah, I'm lazy. No question there. I also realized and came to some peace with the fact that I needed something to do with my hands. I needed to do something I was successful at. I needed to do something that produced a tangible result. I needed to do something that kept my mind busy, but not too busy. I've got a couple of things I've been overthinking. I've been feeling my body cycle, and not moving to good places. I've been leaning on a couple of other things I suspect I'm on the edge of addiction to, especially in times like this. I needed something else to do. Reading is good but not quite physical enough. Cooking is good, but takes too many individual pieces, some of which I'm missing, and the result leads to other problems I won't go into here. I had errands I meant all week to do, except the cough and messing up my foot quite got in the way of getting them done. Now that I'm feeling better on both counts, the rain is back, and I'm totally wimping out on the walking I'd need to do to get the errands done. Making the scarf helped me feel like I didn't waste my day after all. It was nice to have the quiet. The kitty sat on my lap while I worked for a while. I could feel her little motor all through my legs while I worked the scarf. About halfway through, I wrapped the scarf around my neck and let it hang while I worked the end. It's only when I sit still like that, that I notice how warm the thin, narrow layer of wool really is. I listened to the rain a while. I listened to the sounds the house makes, knowing this is my last winter in it. I listened to the quiet, glad my roommate was gone for the day, glad she's coming back tonight. I thought about where this scarf will go. I haven't decided whether it'll go on the table for the company holiday party/craft bazaar or whether I'll just donate it to a shelter somewhere. I thought about how my work is getting better - I now know just enough crochet to get myself in trouble, I like to joke to myself. I know harder projects are within my reach, but I want to be good at them now, dangit. This scarf gives me a bit more immediate satisfaction. It took maybe 6 hours and I didn't have to think too hard about it. Which, apparently, was kinda the point. I feel a little more ready to get on with things now.