Name Game

[bldrnrpdx]

Him: What are you going to do with your name?
Me: I'm still thinking about hyphenating it. I'm not sure yet. I'm going back and forth, maybe hyphenating it for my legal name, but using my current name at work and stuff. Btw - how do you feel about hyphenating?
Him: Um, I don't think I want to take your ex-husband's name.
Me: Wow. I hadn't thought

Comments

[whipartist]

He's a keeper.

[bldrnrpdx]

He's fantastic. *I'm* the basket case. But hey, don't tell him, 'k? Somehow I've got him convinced otherwise.

[grey_evil_twin]

Friends of ours who recently got married, ended up both changing their names to one of the brides mother's maiden name. Now they are Mrs and Mrs Miller.

You could always make up a new name combining bits of each other's names.

I kept my maiden name, because otherwise if I used my first name, middle name, and married name, I end up with a Total Porn Star Name.

[bldrnrpdx]

We've briefly discussed a variety of options. A good share of it comes down to him not being keen to change his name at all (it's possible he might have considered hyphenating if I'd only had my maiden name, but it's irrelevant now, as I'm never going back to it myself). So it's just me: keep, hyphenate, or change the name.

As it is, I won't have to change my initials - we have the same Last Name initial.

[bldrnrpdx]

And now I want to know your Total Porn Star Name.

At least it isn't the German Name that NO ONE in the US can Spell or Pronounce. (and my mother's maiden name was in that category as well, so I'm not using that one either).

[grey_evil_twin]

I use Robin Lawrie everywhere, and have been that since birth. TPSN is Robin Gay Dick.

No word of a lie.

[codeamazon]

Quick thought : if you changed it once, presumably it's not an issue of "My identity is wrapped up in my name" (for me it is -- at 8 I had a complicated plan for how to have children with my Grandfather's name, which my mother had reclaimed after her divorce.)

Given no kids and a prior willingness to change it, I'd at least consider changing my name if I thought my sweetie would be tickled AND I was sure he didn't expect it. ;-) Of course if he really expected it, it would all be a moot issue...

I say this in part because I remember how THRILLED I was when my ex-wife took MY name. I was so very excited about it, partly because it was so unexpected. Now I just wish I could take it back. ;-)

[whipartist]

I changed my name when I got married about 25 years ago, and kept my married name when I got divorced about eight years after that.

Unfortunately, my identity now *is* tied up in my name, not because I was born with it but because I've had it my entire adult life. In essence, everyone who knows me knows me by that name.

[bldrnrpdx]

Actually, in the above exchange, I was realizing I *do* have more of an identity/name intertwinement than I'd thought.

And there is *to me* a big difference between changing my maiden name to my current married name, and changing my current name to the Fiance's name. I'm not going to go into it here - suffice to say it involves personal and family history, and learning to both Be and Like Who I Am.

[violet_tigress1]

Definitely a Keeper.

[edichka2]

Each of us uses her maiden name as a second middle name, and my last name as a last name. A similar option would be to each add the other's last name as a second middle name.

- E