u live----u learn
god what the fuck!
everything...ahhhhh
i dont even kno how to say the things that im feeling. its just all so overwhelming i want to just cry and trust me..i have. people just are soo hurtful and it makes me think..am i this hurtfull to them cuz honestly ide rather shoot myself then make others feel the way i feel right now. i dont kno what to do about it either. a part of me just wants to crawl up in a ball and cry forever and never go anywhere. but the other part of me just wants to run...and run...and run away from here. never stopping or slowing down. just run till im happy.
theres YOU who makes me feel like the lowest person earth. i constinly shead tears cuz of u. when i think of all my problems, most lead back to u. never once can u be happy or listen or appreciate me. Always putting me down and putting me in my place make me never want to speak or see you ever again. you should be such an important part of my life, but ide rather u werent even here. youve seen me cry how many times and what do u do make me cry even more. how am i supposed to be anything to your liking when your never pleased. i try everything to make you happy but NEVER will u EVER be. i dont kno how much more of you i can take. please. dont be the death of me
and then YOU.. what can i do. im seriously trying everything i can but you just seem to not care. i try...seriouly i do. but you act like i dont. god...ive cryed SOOOO much for you and you dont care. i would give just about anything up for you..would you do the same? i didnt think so. sumtimes it seems i give more then you do. but i still miss you and would never want to lose you. but ive tryed. and it seems that theres nothing left for me to try. but i cant let go. so im sorta stuck. ive only felt this connection with 1 other person before and that was ripped away from me too. you say i make you angry/sad...are you sure thats not you. or if its me how? but u cant answer that. so maybe you should rethink that until you can get an answer. god i dont kno how much more i can cry over you. should i just let go. my head says yes. but my heart says no.
and then YOU...i exspected more from you. you of all people shouldnt be making me cry. but you did. and i miss you. but at the same time im soo mad i just want to hit you. you better make it up to me. cuz i dont want this to end. but i guess alot of it was my fault too. fights r dumb.
and YOU...your just horrible. i hope your happy. truely i do. youve been the bud of most of my tears for years now. i should just let you go but for some reason i cant. i just cant. i seriously hope you love doin this to me. tho i doubt youde even kno. you dont kno anything about me. i guess you never really had any intrest to being with tho did you. go ahead just drop me. forget i even exsist. cuz i mean i guess im not even a person in your eyes. and what did i do to earn it may i ask. absolutly nothing.
and you... i love you with all my heart but you make me sad cuz i cant meet up to your expectations. i try but i just cant be who you want me to. does that mean you have to ignore me. i just feel like nothing cuz i cant make you happy.
and with you...im soo sorry. i dont appreciate you enuff. i can say you are the thing thats keeping me going. we will always be friends. you and me just have this bond. and im sorry if im not there for you enuff. and im sorry if im not everything you want. cuz what you deserve is way more then i can even imagine of giving to you. i want to thank you for always being there for me and making me the person i am today. most of my happiness is cuz of you. whenever im down you will always cheer me up and make me laugh. thanks! and heres to 6 years!
maybe im just holding on to things that i need to let go...
****EVERCLEAR --- WONDERFUL******
Wonderful.....Isn't it wonderful now...
I close my eyes when I get too sad
I think thoughts that I know are bad
Close my eyes and I count to ten
Hope it's over when I open them
I want the things that I had before
Like a Star Wars poster on my bedroom door
I wish I could count to ten
Make everything be wonderful again
I hope my mom and I hope my dad
Will figure out why they get so mad
Hear them scream, I hear them fight
They say bad words and make me want to cry
Close my eyes when I go to bed and I
Dream of angels who make me smile
I feel better when I hear them say
Everything will be wonderful some day
Promises mean everything
When you're little and the world is so big
I just don't understand how
You can smile with all those tears in your eyes
And tell me everything is wonderful now
Please don't tell me everthing is wonderful now
I go to school and I run and play
I tell the kids that it's all ok
I laugh aloud so my friends wont know
When the bell rings I just don't want to go home
Go to my room and I close my eyes
I make believe I have a new life
I don't believe you when you say
Everything will be wonderful some day
Promises mean everything
When you're little and the world is so big (so big)
I just don't understand how
You can smile with all those tears in your eyes
When you tell me everything is wonderful now
NO! NO! I don't want to hear you tell me everything is wonderful now.
I don't want to hear you say that I will understand some day
NO! NO! NO! NO!
I don't want to hear you say both have grown in a different way
NO! NO! NO!
NO I don't want to meet your friend
I don't want to start over again
I just want my life to be the same
Just like it used to be
Somedays, I hate everything
I hate everything
Everyone and everything
Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now.
*******MUSE ---- TIME IS RUNNING OUT******
I think I'm drowning
Asphyxiated
I want to break the spell
That you've created
You're something beautiful
A contradiction
I want to play the game
I want the friction
You will be the death of me
Yeah, you will be the death of me
Bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it
But our time is running out
But our time is running out
You can't push it underground
You can't stop it screaming out
I wanted freedom
Proud and restricted
I tried to give you up
But I'm addicted
Now that you know I'm trapped
Sense of elation
You'd never dream of
Breaking this fixation
You will squeeze the life out of me
Bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it
But our time is running out
But our time is running out
You can't push it underground
You can't stop it screaming out
How did it come to this?
*****EPIPHANY----STAIND******
Your words to me just a whisper
Your face is so unclear
I try to pay attention
Your words just disappear
Oh
'Cause it's always raining in my head
Oh
Forget all the things I should have said
So I speak to you in riddles
'Cause my words get in my way
I smoke the whole thing to my head
And feel it wash away
'Cause I can't take anymore of this
I wanna come apart
Or dig myself a little hole
Inside your precious heart
Oh
'Cause it's always raining in my head
Oh
Forget all the things I should have said
I am nothing more than
A little boy inside
That cries out for attention,
Yet I always try to hide
'Cause I talk to you like children,
Though I don't know how I feel
But I know I'll do the right thing
If the right thing is revealed
'Cause it's always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said.
but i think a good song to really think about is alanis morrisettes u learn
"You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn
You grieve you learn
You choke you learn
You laugh you learn
You choose you learn
You pray you learn
You ask you learn
You live you learn"
and sry about the mile long journal entry...but hell its my journal so fuck off! ill write as long of an entry as i want to. and if you dont want to read it. well then dont.
everything...ahhhhh
i dont even kno how to say the things that im feeling. its just all so overwhelming i want to just cry and trust me..i have. people just are soo hurtful and it makes me think..am i this hurtfull to them cuz honestly ide rather shoot myself then make others feel the way i feel right now. i dont kno what to do about it either. a part of me just wants to crawl up in a ball and cry forever and never go anywhere. but the other part of me just wants to run...and run...and run away from here. never stopping or slowing down. just run till im happy.
theres YOU who makes me feel like the lowest person earth. i constinly shead tears cuz of u. when i think of all my problems, most lead back to u. never once can u be happy or listen or appreciate me. Always putting me down and putting me in my place make me never want to speak or see you ever again. you should be such an important part of my life, but ide rather u werent even here. youve seen me cry how many times and what do u do make me cry even more. how am i supposed to be anything to your liking when your never pleased. i try everything to make you happy but NEVER will u EVER be. i dont kno how much more of you i can take. please. dont be the death of me
and then YOU.. what can i do. im seriously trying everything i can but you just seem to not care. i try...seriouly i do. but you act like i dont. god...ive cryed SOOOO much for you and you dont care. i would give just about anything up for you..would you do the same? i didnt think so. sumtimes it seems i give more then you do. but i still miss you and would never want to lose you. but ive tryed. and it seems that theres nothing left for me to try. but i cant let go. so im sorta stuck. ive only felt this connection with 1 other person before and that was ripped away from me too. you say i make you angry/sad...are you sure thats not you. or if its me how? but u cant answer that. so maybe you should rethink that until you can get an answer. god i dont kno how much more i can cry over you. should i just let go. my head says yes. but my heart says no.
and then YOU...i exspected more from you. you of all people shouldnt be making me cry. but you did. and i miss you. but at the same time im soo mad i just want to hit you. you better make it up to me. cuz i dont want this to end. but i guess alot of it was my fault too. fights r dumb.
and YOU...your just horrible. i hope your happy. truely i do. youve been the bud of most of my tears for years now. i should just let you go but for some reason i cant. i just cant. i seriously hope you love doin this to me. tho i doubt youde even kno. you dont kno anything about me. i guess you never really had any intrest to being with tho did you. go ahead just drop me. forget i even exsist. cuz i mean i guess im not even a person in your eyes. and what did i do to earn it may i ask. absolutly nothing.
and you... i love you with all my heart but you make me sad cuz i cant meet up to your expectations. i try but i just cant be who you want me to. does that mean you have to ignore me. i just feel like nothing cuz i cant make you happy.
and with you...im soo sorry. i dont appreciate you enuff. i can say you are the thing thats keeping me going. we will always be friends. you and me just have this bond. and im sorry if im not there for you enuff. and im sorry if im not everything you want. cuz what you deserve is way more then i can even imagine of giving to you. i want to thank you for always being there for me and making me the person i am today. most of my happiness is cuz of you. whenever im down you will always cheer me up and make me laugh. thanks! and heres to 6 years!
maybe im just holding on to things that i need to let go...
****EVERCLEAR --- WONDERFUL******
Wonderful.....Isn't it wonderful now...
I close my eyes when I get too sad
I think thoughts that I know are bad
Close my eyes and I count to ten
Hope it's over when I open them
I want the things that I had before
Like a Star Wars poster on my bedroom door
I wish I could count to ten
Make everything be wonderful again
I hope my mom and I hope my dad
Will figure out why they get so mad
Hear them scream, I hear them fight
They say bad words and make me want to cry
Close my eyes when I go to bed and I
Dream of angels who make me smile
I feel better when I hear them say
Everything will be wonderful some day
Promises mean everything
When you're little and the world is so big
I just don't understand how
You can smile with all those tears in your eyes
And tell me everything is wonderful now
Please don't tell me everthing is wonderful now
I go to school and I run and play
I tell the kids that it's all ok
I laugh aloud so my friends wont know
When the bell rings I just don't want to go home
Go to my room and I close my eyes
I make believe I have a new life
I don't believe you when you say
Everything will be wonderful some day
Promises mean everything
When you're little and the world is so big (so big)
I just don't understand how
You can smile with all those tears in your eyes
When you tell me everything is wonderful now
NO! NO! I don't want to hear you tell me everything is wonderful now.
I don't want to hear you say that I will understand some day
NO! NO! NO! NO!
I don't want to hear you say both have grown in a different way
NO! NO! NO!
NO I don't want to meet your friend
I don't want to start over again
I just want my life to be the same
Just like it used to be
Somedays, I hate everything
I hate everything
Everyone and everything
Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now.
*******MUSE ---- TIME IS RUNNING OUT******
I think I'm drowning
Asphyxiated
I want to break the spell
That you've created
You're something beautiful
A contradiction
I want to play the game
I want the friction
You will be the death of me
Yeah, you will be the death of me
Bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it
But our time is running out
But our time is running out
You can't push it underground
You can't stop it screaming out
I wanted freedom
Proud and restricted
I tried to give you up
But I'm addicted
Now that you know I'm trapped
Sense of elation
You'd never dream of
Breaking this fixation
You will squeeze the life out of me
Bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it
But our time is running out
But our time is running out
You can't push it underground
You can't stop it screaming out
How did it come to this?
*****EPIPHANY----STAIND******
Your words to me just a whisper
Your face is so unclear
I try to pay attention
Your words just disappear
Oh
'Cause it's always raining in my head
Oh
Forget all the things I should have said
So I speak to you in riddles
'Cause my words get in my way
I smoke the whole thing to my head
And feel it wash away
'Cause I can't take anymore of this
I wanna come apart
Or dig myself a little hole
Inside your precious heart
Oh
'Cause it's always raining in my head
Oh
Forget all the things I should have said
I am nothing more than
A little boy inside
That cries out for attention,
Yet I always try to hide
'Cause I talk to you like children,
Though I don't know how I feel
But I know I'll do the right thing
If the right thing is revealed
'Cause it's always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said.
but i think a good song to really think about is alanis morrisettes u learn
"You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn
You grieve you learn
You choke you learn
You laugh you learn
You choose you learn
You pray you learn
You ask you learn
You live you learn"
and sry about the mile long journal entry...but hell its my journal so fuck off! ill write as long of an entry as i want to. and if you dont want to read it. well then dont.