waiting and waiting... is what i do worst
The winter season always seems to put me
in a very pensive mood about the overall "accomplishments"
made the current year, and the goals i hope
and WANT to accomplish for the next.
2004 was good. Graduated. Traveled. Made more
friends. Got fit. Learned from experiences.
Found compliments. Grew up... just a little
more. Got a great job!
Yet once again, i got that itch to leave
... yet again. This time i want to make
it longer. I decided before i commit
myself to law school, that iam going
to that dream of living in another country
for a year. And this time its...
*SPAIN... BARCELONA (to be exact)*
I stopped and thought about the things
I wanted for once. Not to say that i didnt
want to go to college, but i felt like
alot of the things i have been doing so far,
have been to please my parents. (to a certain
degree). I got good grades, graduated,
and then found a "well respected" job after
graduation... all the things my parents wanted
for me.
How im going? who knows. Where am i going to
live? we'll see. What am i going to do there?
live life. Why i have a constant need to
leave my comfort zone and leave the place
that is so famliar to me ... i really cant
figure out why, yet i do know that once i stay
here for a while i tend to fall back on old habits
and start living the fast paced, non-social
life that North American life is so known for.
---
I havent really, well, at all shared these thoughts
with V and i dont know how to break it down to
him. And it seems liked he gets more n more attached
to me as the days passed and the more experiences we
have together. I figured, once i get details
together that would be a good time to bring it up?!
Fucked up? i dont know. What if i dont end up
going? And caused all this upheaval for nothing?!
in a very pensive mood about the overall "accomplishments"
made the current year, and the goals i hope
and WANT to accomplish for the next.
2004 was good. Graduated. Traveled. Made more
friends. Got fit. Learned from experiences.
Found compliments. Grew up... just a little
more. Got a great job!
Yet once again, i got that itch to leave
... yet again. This time i want to make
it longer. I decided before i commit
myself to law school, that iam going
to that dream of living in another country
for a year. And this time its...
*SPAIN... BARCELONA (to be exact)*
I stopped and thought about the things
I wanted for once. Not to say that i didnt
want to go to college, but i felt like
alot of the things i have been doing so far,
have been to please my parents. (to a certain
degree). I got good grades, graduated,
and then found a "well respected" job after
graduation... all the things my parents wanted
for me.
How im going? who knows. Where am i going to
live? we'll see. What am i going to do there?
live life. Why i have a constant need to
leave my comfort zone and leave the place
that is so famliar to me ... i really cant
figure out why, yet i do know that once i stay
here for a while i tend to fall back on old habits
and start living the fast paced, non-social
life that North American life is so known for.
---
I havent really, well, at all shared these thoughts
with V and i dont know how to break it down to
him. And it seems liked he gets more n more attached
to me as the days passed and the more experiences we
have together. I figured, once i get details
together that would be a good time to bring it up?!
Fucked up? i dont know. What if i dont end up
going? And caused all this upheaval for nothing?!