Birthday
hummm well let me see were do i start....althou i know alot of people have tried to make this day special every attempt has faild. This day is right along there with x-mas i cant fucking stand it yea i got to hang with some of my friends and all that but at the same time i know deep down in my heart that im hurting inside and that pain if caused by my deep hatred for my birthday ald all things that come with it. Its like one big dissapointment after another granted i slept the majority of the day after being awake after i got off work at 5 but still. I can agree that yea some of the things that were planned i wasent looking forwerd to from the start but yet and still i went through it anyway even if alot of it was cancled at the last min. even being around my closest friends i felt alone i had a long ride home in the rain and all that did was make me feel even more like shit. I just cant stand this any longer i mean what am i suposto do? I know why i dont like my b-day and its not for the same reason that i have told people this reason alone stays with me. Its sad when you have to put on a fake face on your own birthday a self loathing hateing person who has and always will think that his birthday will always be a waste of time and energy. year after fucking year. and i dont blame anyone but myself one for buying into the hype in the first place and two for having to deal with the same shit ive had to deal with for the past few years. I'd just say its just spiteful anger.....i really wish it was just that but its more to it then i will ever shere with anyone. I just dont know i have alot of misplaced anger and ive been doing good not to direct it twords anyone...even those who may have deserved even a small part of it but as always I know my birthday isent about me...it never was there has always been someone else or something better that could have been done.