No Problem
When someone thanks me for something, I almost never say “you’re welcome.” Instead, I respond with “no problem,” “not a problem,” or some variation thereof. Though I have no particular inclination to stop responding this way, I’ve been trying to figure out why I do it.
At least some of it probably stems from my long-running, low-level general rebellion against certain aspects of social etiquette that started with my mother’s attempt to enforce the use of “please.” To this day, I don’t care for the word “please” and often phrase polite requests without it. “Would you mind…?” “When you get a chance…?” and so forth. Since most of my communication is digital, I make a point to sign such correspondence with “Thanks!” to make it clear that I appreciate the person’s effort on my behalf.
“Please” has always had a strong a subservient connotation to me. I made the assumption in my youth that “to plea” and the word “please” (in this context) came from the same source. I don’t care for pleading, so I didn’t like “please.” Of course, having since looked into the linguistic origins of the word, this is wrong. “Please” is shorthand for “If it pleases you…” rather than “I plead that you…” Nevertheless, first impressions and all that.
I think from that, the triumvirate of “please / thank you / you’re welcome” sort of became anathema to me. For whatever reason, giving thanks has never been an issue-I appreciate the things others go out of their way to do for me. Likewise, I appreciate it when others demonstrate their own appreciation when I go out of my way to do something for them.
Society has essentially ingrained in us the idea that being thanked requires some kind of response or acknowledgment. “You’re welcome” implies that “you are welcome to impose upon me in this way.” This could have some negative implications if carried through to its logical conclusion. In some cases, I do say “you’re welcome” (or, more likely, “you are welcome”), but most of the time I say “no problem”, “not a problem”, or sometimes “not at all.”
So, why those? This particular preference may come from my self-characterization as a problem solver. I treat most things as problems to be solved. When I do something for someone of trivial difficulty, doing that thing was “not a (difficult) problem.” Of course, I will often respond this way when doing something for someone isn’t of trivial difficulty either, but I have a sneaking suspicion that I actually resort to other responses in this case. I haven’t done a rigorous study on myself to know for certain, of course; just a feeling that could easily be wrong.
Anyway, just something that’s been trundling around in my head.
Mirrored from Blog-at-McC3D.