Transformers
Short, non-spoiler review:
"When I want to see giant robots smashing through buildings, Michael Bay is there for me." - Calvin, after the movie
Awesome. Win and awesome, in fact. Radicawesometaculatastic, even. There is absolutely nothing small about this movie, and that's exactly how it should be. The movie begins immediately, rather than taking time to ramp up, and doesn't slow down...ever. It's actually somewhat taxing in that regard, but that's alright.
Anyway, let's examine the checklist. The following things are positive things I wanted to see in this movie:
So, full-on success as far as I'm concerned. Granted, one might think those criteria are somewhat easy to fulfill...and they'd be right. It's frickin' Transformers.
Awesome moments:
Now, there were/are some major concerns regarding this movie that many people -- myself not necessarily excluded -- held about the movie before it debuted. Let's go through point-by-point.
Michael Bay. Probably the biggest concern anyone had was Michael Bay, but this is one concern I didn't share. I like Bay movies, unabashedly. Bad Boys I & II, Armageddon, Pearl Harbor, The Rock -- all films I've seen at least once, and most of them several times. No, I didn't see The Island, and yes, I heard it was pretty bad. Let's be honest: this is a Michael Bay movie. In my opinion, that's a good thing -- Michael Bay + Transformers is a brilliant combination that I can't believe hadn't been thought of sooner. But, if you don't like Michael Bay, you may have major issues with this movie.
Changed Designs. Oh shut up. If this actually bothered you, you don't get to talk. Or see the movie. Or leave your room. Just...complaining about this at all is silly.
Plot/Acting. Partly a corollary to the "Michael Bay" point for most people. For one thing, Shia LaBeouf carries this movie handily. He is entirely believable as a boy who gets his first car...which then turns into a giant robot. Given how absurd that premise is to begin with (yes, of course it's absurd; it's also awesome), acting through that notion, and particularly trying to weigh acting against that scenario is tricky. Personally, I believed Shia the whole time. Megan Fox delivered a surprisingly decent performance as well -- I wasn't expecting much from her beyond eye candy, but she actually did quite well.
Every other human in the movie was superfluous, some of them correctly so, and some of them because of plot. If the movie had a weakness, it was this. By endgame, there were about three plots going on: 1) the Autobots fighting the Decepticons with the help of U.S. forces amid downtown L.A. 2) The Sector 7 plot, primarily featuring John Turturro. 3) The "zomg, decepticons haxored teh planet!" plot with blond-Australian-chick and secretary-of-defense.
#2 and #3 were almost entirely irrelevant, and honestly would've probably been better restricted to the scenes that they were actually relevant for. For Sector 7, that was the part where the Allspark and Megatron are revealed; that was the extent of the function they served. For the hacking plot, this really should've only been mentioned early in the movie as a reaction, after which it more or less should've just been ignored -- it didn't serve a great deal of purpose, other than to provide a plot device for why the U.S. forces couldn't coordinate a better resistance to the Decepticons -- against whom they were fairly powerless, anyway. So, the A plot was freakin' awesome, but the B and C plots really shouldn't have been 'plots' of their own but accessories to the A plot. If there's a weakness in the movie, it's this.
Confusing Battle Scenes. Firstly, these are a hallmark of Bay. If you don't like Bay, you probably didn't like this. Bay portrays battle as hectic, crazy, and somewhat hard to follow...kinda like it really is. Further, I've even heard critcism about which Transformers being involved in what becoming confusing. This I actually have a hard time understanding. I thought they all looked quite distinctive. The Autobots were color-coded: Prime was red and blue, Ratchet was green, Bumblebee was yellow, Ironhide was black, and Jazz was silver. The Decepticons weren't color-coded, but they were also more or less only fighting one at a time. Megatron was instantly recognizable because he was frickin' huge, Starscream because he was usually in the air, Blackout because of the helicopter blades on his back, and Bonecrusher, Brawl, and Devastator in their respective (quite separate) appearances in the film. Not being able to follow this...honestly, I just don't really understand.
So, on the whole, every criticism I've heard...is pretty much invalid, with the exception of the secondary plots not really needing to be their own plots. That's true. As to the rest, I can do nothing but chalk it up to taste -- Michael Bay's fingerprints are on this movie. If you don't like him, I will not be surprised if you don't like the movie. If you do like Bay, or just like action movies in general, go see this.
"When I want to see giant robots smashing through buildings, Michael Bay is there for me." - Calvin, after the movie
Awesome. Win and awesome, in fact. Radicawesometaculatastic, even. There is absolutely nothing small about this movie, and that's exactly how it should be. The movie begins immediately, rather than taking time to ramp up, and doesn't slow down...ever. It's actually somewhat taxing in that regard, but that's alright.
Anyway, let's examine the checklist. The following things are positive things I wanted to see in this movie:
- Huge transforming robots: check
- Huge transforming robots having huge titanic battles that wreck shit: check
- Peter Cullen as Optimus Prime: check
- A vaguely self-propelling plot that doesn't bog down: check
- Cheese factor through the roof: check
So, full-on success as far as I'm concerned. Granted, one might think those criteria are somewhat easy to fulfill...and they'd be right. It's frickin' Transformers.
Awesome moments:
- Opening narration by Optimus Prime providing foundation for the movie. Gorgeous.
- The entire "boy buys new car" sequence. Absolutely hysterical, due to LaBeouf, Bernie Mac, and Bumblebee.
- Bumblebee, in general. Particularly his roll in helping Sam woo Mikaela. Hysterical and adorable.
- Sam confronts Brawl, with Bumblebee to the rescue.
- "50 years from now..." line.
- The Introduction of the Autobots sequence.
- "Megatron, that's what they call him..." exchange when Megatron is revealed.
- Final battle, in general
- Megatron forming a huge-ass cannon with his arms that knocks Prime flat on his ass.
- Prime forming a glowing orange blade and using it to great effect.
- Starscream fighting the F-22s. Holy crap!
- Megatron flicking civilians around, "Disgusting."
- Tiny Jazz vs. huge Megatron.
- Prime's reaction to Megatron's defeat.
- Closing sequence, mainly because of the humorous implications of the Autobots watching Sam and Mikaela.
Now, there were/are some major concerns regarding this movie that many people -- myself not necessarily excluded -- held about the movie before it debuted. Let's go through point-by-point.
Michael Bay. Probably the biggest concern anyone had was Michael Bay, but this is one concern I didn't share. I like Bay movies, unabashedly. Bad Boys I & II, Armageddon, Pearl Harbor, The Rock -- all films I've seen at least once, and most of them several times. No, I didn't see The Island, and yes, I heard it was pretty bad. Let's be honest: this is a Michael Bay movie. In my opinion, that's a good thing -- Michael Bay + Transformers is a brilliant combination that I can't believe hadn't been thought of sooner. But, if you don't like Michael Bay, you may have major issues with this movie.
Changed Designs. Oh shut up. If this actually bothered you, you don't get to talk. Or see the movie. Or leave your room. Just...complaining about this at all is silly.
Plot/Acting. Partly a corollary to the "Michael Bay" point for most people. For one thing, Shia LaBeouf carries this movie handily. He is entirely believable as a boy who gets his first car...which then turns into a giant robot. Given how absurd that premise is to begin with (yes, of course it's absurd; it's also awesome), acting through that notion, and particularly trying to weigh acting against that scenario is tricky. Personally, I believed Shia the whole time. Megan Fox delivered a surprisingly decent performance as well -- I wasn't expecting much from her beyond eye candy, but she actually did quite well.
Every other human in the movie was superfluous, some of them correctly so, and some of them because of plot. If the movie had a weakness, it was this. By endgame, there were about three plots going on: 1) the Autobots fighting the Decepticons with the help of U.S. forces amid downtown L.A. 2) The Sector 7 plot, primarily featuring John Turturro. 3) The "zomg, decepticons haxored teh planet!" plot with blond-Australian-chick and secretary-of-defense.
#2 and #3 were almost entirely irrelevant, and honestly would've probably been better restricted to the scenes that they were actually relevant for. For Sector 7, that was the part where the Allspark and Megatron are revealed; that was the extent of the function they served. For the hacking plot, this really should've only been mentioned early in the movie as a reaction, after which it more or less should've just been ignored -- it didn't serve a great deal of purpose, other than to provide a plot device for why the U.S. forces couldn't coordinate a better resistance to the Decepticons -- against whom they were fairly powerless, anyway. So, the A plot was freakin' awesome, but the B and C plots really shouldn't have been 'plots' of their own but accessories to the A plot. If there's a weakness in the movie, it's this.
Confusing Battle Scenes. Firstly, these are a hallmark of Bay. If you don't like Bay, you probably didn't like this. Bay portrays battle as hectic, crazy, and somewhat hard to follow...kinda like it really is. Further, I've even heard critcism about which Transformers being involved in what becoming confusing. This I actually have a hard time understanding. I thought they all looked quite distinctive. The Autobots were color-coded: Prime was red and blue, Ratchet was green, Bumblebee was yellow, Ironhide was black, and Jazz was silver. The Decepticons weren't color-coded, but they were also more or less only fighting one at a time. Megatron was instantly recognizable because he was frickin' huge, Starscream because he was usually in the air, Blackout because of the helicopter blades on his back, and Bonecrusher, Brawl, and Devastator in their respective (quite separate) appearances in the film. Not being able to follow this...honestly, I just don't really understand.
So, on the whole, every criticism I've heard...is pretty much invalid, with the exception of the secondary plots not really needing to be their own plots. That's true. As to the rest, I can do nothing but chalk it up to taste -- Michael Bay's fingerprints are on this movie. If you don't like him, I will not be surprised if you don't like the movie. If you do like Bay, or just like action movies in general, go see this.