Poem for a recently passed away friend..

[blazelion]

I really shouldn't be doing this. I'm already behind my work schedule, and must carry on. Apparently I have this tendency to get creative in times of stress, which is not very beneficial for me at all. Regardless, I wrote this poem. It is about my fellow PhD student who died a week ago, today. I wrote it the day after he died (I've never been great at writing things the instant I am overwhelmed by emotions..), and have been polishing it a bit since. Thought I should post it here. I only knew him for a week and a half, so I didn't know him enough to be able to I think of a good enough title.


We turn over each stone in Hell
In hopes to inevitably find,
Memories that will soothe our minds;
Memories that may serve us well.
I reminisce the past haunting me
And fear what fate will be mine.

In case you were wondering, we found nothing,
Beneath those fiery fields of solid stones.

Resonating through my mind,
Are my actions re-iterated, retold;
But I am more than just a feeling.
As emptiness consumes me whole,
With attempts at healing, I froze,
I am washed away by the regrets in my soul.

For faith, love and compassion.
I break down, knowing nothing,
Nothing at all.

Please do not let me turn into abhorrent dust
Sink into the wraiths' depths, and allow my soul to rust.
My spirit turns pale, weary of judgement.
I confide in you with my explicit trust.

In my fond dreams
I find my unsteady hand
Being able to draw a straight line.
I find restlessness in unhappiness,
Never able to feel just fine
In my fond dreams,
Which alone should be my indisputable sign.

And I truly loathe what I have become;
Never the strong,
Allowing my fears maim my choice of action,
Let alone my ability to utter words.
I felt paralysed, not knowing right from wrong,
And thus did nothing. Nothing at all.

In case you were wondering, we found nothing,
Beneath those fiery fields of solid stones.