I don't deserve her
Gosh, so much has gone on since I last wrote in this journal. So much time has passed that I forgot to look at the last entry to see what I needed to update y'all on. That really doesn't matter because I am writing this to tell you about one thing-Ashley Howard. The only place I know where to start is from the beginning.
I met Ashley Howard through her roommate. That's a whole 'nother story that I frankly don't want to remember. The fact is, through all of that crap, I got to meet Ashley. It was a blessing in that fact. I remember her at first as that cute little brunette with a great smile. There's always been something about that smile. It makes me forget what I was thinking about...Anyways, pretty much the only times that I got to hang around her at first was when we all went out to the Hall. I remember one time, we were waiting in line outside the hall and I was hugging Ashley to try to keep her warm. I had gotten bits and pieces of information about her, and being the romantically-awkward nerd that I was, I was popping out that information, almost as if it was a quiz. Hey, it got a laugh out of her. That same night, I got to dance with her. We weren't much of dancers, but I got to hold her in my arms for a couple of minutes at a time. There was this other time that Travis (who awesomely came down for 10 days for my birthday-love ya man) and I went to a Fightin' Texas Aggie Football game. A little bit into the third quarter, Ashley came down from where she was sitting with some Choral Activities people saying that she couldn't see very well from her seat and that she was about to go to work. We got her to stand with us and we got to talk a little. I didn't watch much of the rest of the game.
This is the part of the story where it gets kinda hard. Then came my birthday. My 21st birthday no less. I asked her to come to eat with all of us at this Mexican restaurant called Ninfa's. I remember that I was waiting for her to come. People kept coming in that I would recognize, but they weren't her. She finally walked in and I got her to sit beside me on this bench in front of the door. We talked for a little bit and then it came time to be seated. We all started moving toward the table and I got stuck in the middle of this crowd. I ended up being seated by this girl that I did not even want to be sitting by. The girl I wanted to be sitting by was at the end of the table. I hope you know which girl I am talking about. At one point, Travis pointed out to me that Ashley kept looking my way. Travis knew I liked her. Maybe he was just trying to give me the proper push in her direction or he was imagining things, or maybe he was right. I hope he was right because I was stealing glances in her direction as well. I can't even describe how beautiful Ashley Howard is. Anyhoo, we ended up going to Northgate, which is a string of bars. By this time, I had three Ninfaritas in me, which is harsh. Unfortunately, Ashley drove while me and this other girl got in the backseat. We got to Fitzwilly's, I got some more alcohol in me, and we played some shuffleboard. By this time, things have to be told to me now because I can't remember them. Apparently, I was all over Ashley, whispering things in her ears. They say that alcohol is a truth serum. Well, that night it was. I had a huge crush on her, and the alcohol didn't help my inhibitions. This caused a dramatic uproar. People got their panties in a twist because I had a thing for a girl's roommate. They just wanted something to talk about.
Through all this hassle, we ended up agreeing that we should go out sometime, just as friends to see if we wanted to date. I took a little time finally asking her out because I didn't want to cause her anymore hassle with her friends. Those people can make you or break you sometimes. We got some coffee at this place called Coffee Station. It was awesome. We looked at the pets in this store window and paced back and forth down the sidewalk just talking. Gosh I love to listen to her. That girl will talk your ear off. I really do enjoy talking to her. I wish I had more to talk to her about.
We ended up going out some more and eventually started dating, but we had a bit of a timing issue on our hands. Christmas break was coming up, and I wouldn't see her for a month. I didn't know what to do so I told her that we should take some time off. Gosh, that sounds so stupid now that I am writing it. She agreed to it but it wasn't really time off, thank the Lord. We called each other a lot. We even got to go to the Cotton Bowl to see the Aggies play the Tennessee Volunteers. We also went out to dinner at Chile's and a movie-Finding Neverland. Don't tell anyone-but I snuck out one time to see her. It was like two in the morning and I met her halfway into Dallas (she's from the other side of Dallas in Mesquite). We drove around and talked. It was amazing. I didn't get much sleep that night after I left her, but it didn't matter. I had more energy than I knew what to do with.
A little after that, I had to go on winter tour. It was torture. I couldn't get Ashley out of my head. I did not want to be on that bus with all of those guys. I just wanted to be sitting next to Ashley acting goofy together. I called her almost every night. We would talk for hours. I pretend that she was staying up for me to call. Every day was just time passing by until I could talk to her.
Tour ended and we got to be together again. Things were going smooth until a bomb hit. We were out at this Roger Creager concert at Harry's when somebody told me that I needed to talk to Ashley. She told me that I wasn't making her feel special and that I was doing everything wrong. I didn't take this too well. But, you know what, she was right. I had been lazy in the relationship and hadn't taken her out in a while. I wasn't making her feel like she was special. But, I didn't think of it like that then. I took it as a disagreement and took the weekend to think things over. I came back thinking that we should break up. BAD IDEA! I didn't really have any idea why to break up with her, just that I had screwed things up and should start over. She didn't understand this and kept trying to get out of me why I wanted to break up. I tried to feed her some crap that I couldn't measure up to her expectations. I don't know. Sometimes I do the dumbest stuff. Through many tears and pain, we worked it out and started going together again. Things were going good. On February 20th, I asked her to be my girlfriend, and she accepted.
I wanted to write in my livejournal about you Ashley. I just wanted to tell you how much you mean to me. I am so thankful that you are in my life. We've been through our fair share of rough times already, but you've always stuck it through my stupidity. I don't know why, but you have. I've grown so much because of our time together. I'm sorry for all of the bad times, but I hope you've learned as much from them as I have. I don't know how long this will last, but I hope that our friendship will always be there. Thanks, sweetheart.
I met Ashley Howard through her roommate. That's a whole 'nother story that I frankly don't want to remember. The fact is, through all of that crap, I got to meet Ashley. It was a blessing in that fact. I remember her at first as that cute little brunette with a great smile. There's always been something about that smile. It makes me forget what I was thinking about...Anyways, pretty much the only times that I got to hang around her at first was when we all went out to the Hall. I remember one time, we were waiting in line outside the hall and I was hugging Ashley to try to keep her warm. I had gotten bits and pieces of information about her, and being the romantically-awkward nerd that I was, I was popping out that information, almost as if it was a quiz. Hey, it got a laugh out of her. That same night, I got to dance with her. We weren't much of dancers, but I got to hold her in my arms for a couple of minutes at a time. There was this other time that Travis (who awesomely came down for 10 days for my birthday-love ya man) and I went to a Fightin' Texas Aggie Football game. A little bit into the third quarter, Ashley came down from where she was sitting with some Choral Activities people saying that she couldn't see very well from her seat and that she was about to go to work. We got her to stand with us and we got to talk a little. I didn't watch much of the rest of the game.
This is the part of the story where it gets kinda hard. Then came my birthday. My 21st birthday no less. I asked her to come to eat with all of us at this Mexican restaurant called Ninfa's. I remember that I was waiting for her to come. People kept coming in that I would recognize, but they weren't her. She finally walked in and I got her to sit beside me on this bench in front of the door. We talked for a little bit and then it came time to be seated. We all started moving toward the table and I got stuck in the middle of this crowd. I ended up being seated by this girl that I did not even want to be sitting by. The girl I wanted to be sitting by was at the end of the table. I hope you know which girl I am talking about. At one point, Travis pointed out to me that Ashley kept looking my way. Travis knew I liked her. Maybe he was just trying to give me the proper push in her direction or he was imagining things, or maybe he was right. I hope he was right because I was stealing glances in her direction as well. I can't even describe how beautiful Ashley Howard is. Anyhoo, we ended up going to Northgate, which is a string of bars. By this time, I had three Ninfaritas in me, which is harsh. Unfortunately, Ashley drove while me and this other girl got in the backseat. We got to Fitzwilly's, I got some more alcohol in me, and we played some shuffleboard. By this time, things have to be told to me now because I can't remember them. Apparently, I was all over Ashley, whispering things in her ears. They say that alcohol is a truth serum. Well, that night it was. I had a huge crush on her, and the alcohol didn't help my inhibitions. This caused a dramatic uproar. People got their panties in a twist because I had a thing for a girl's roommate. They just wanted something to talk about.
Through all this hassle, we ended up agreeing that we should go out sometime, just as friends to see if we wanted to date. I took a little time finally asking her out because I didn't want to cause her anymore hassle with her friends. Those people can make you or break you sometimes. We got some coffee at this place called Coffee Station. It was awesome. We looked at the pets in this store window and paced back and forth down the sidewalk just talking. Gosh I love to listen to her. That girl will talk your ear off. I really do enjoy talking to her. I wish I had more to talk to her about.
We ended up going out some more and eventually started dating, but we had a bit of a timing issue on our hands. Christmas break was coming up, and I wouldn't see her for a month. I didn't know what to do so I told her that we should take some time off. Gosh, that sounds so stupid now that I am writing it. She agreed to it but it wasn't really time off, thank the Lord. We called each other a lot. We even got to go to the Cotton Bowl to see the Aggies play the Tennessee Volunteers. We also went out to dinner at Chile's and a movie-Finding Neverland. Don't tell anyone-but I snuck out one time to see her. It was like two in the morning and I met her halfway into Dallas (she's from the other side of Dallas in Mesquite). We drove around and talked. It was amazing. I didn't get much sleep that night after I left her, but it didn't matter. I had more energy than I knew what to do with.
A little after that, I had to go on winter tour. It was torture. I couldn't get Ashley out of my head. I did not want to be on that bus with all of those guys. I just wanted to be sitting next to Ashley acting goofy together. I called her almost every night. We would talk for hours. I pretend that she was staying up for me to call. Every day was just time passing by until I could talk to her.
Tour ended and we got to be together again. Things were going smooth until a bomb hit. We were out at this Roger Creager concert at Harry's when somebody told me that I needed to talk to Ashley. She told me that I wasn't making her feel special and that I was doing everything wrong. I didn't take this too well. But, you know what, she was right. I had been lazy in the relationship and hadn't taken her out in a while. I wasn't making her feel like she was special. But, I didn't think of it like that then. I took it as a disagreement and took the weekend to think things over. I came back thinking that we should break up. BAD IDEA! I didn't really have any idea why to break up with her, just that I had screwed things up and should start over. She didn't understand this and kept trying to get out of me why I wanted to break up. I tried to feed her some crap that I couldn't measure up to her expectations. I don't know. Sometimes I do the dumbest stuff. Through many tears and pain, we worked it out and started going together again. Things were going good. On February 20th, I asked her to be my girlfriend, and she accepted.
I wanted to write in my livejournal about you Ashley. I just wanted to tell you how much you mean to me. I am so thankful that you are in my life. We've been through our fair share of rough times already, but you've always stuck it through my stupidity. I don't know why, but you have. I've grown so much because of our time together. I'm sorry for all of the bad times, but I hope you've learned as much from them as I have. I don't know how long this will last, but I hope that our friendship will always be there. Thanks, sweetheart.