happy new era

Dec 14, 2009 13:14

You might possibly be going through a rough patch when you watch "The Rose" three times in a row, downing half a bottle of Jack Daniels shot by shot, while crying and yelling "yeah, the blues! because I'm a woman!" at the screen.

It got so dark, so bad, that I, Hermitess Extraordinaire gave out several none too weak cries for help. I have a new old new friend, who actually called and talked to me for a bit. By then the whiskey was finally doing its job and knocking me the fuck out, but it was really nice to talk honestly and soberly about what a childish way this was to deal with myself, and not be berated or bullied about how stupid I was being. I felt bad for him to know that I can be/am so confused, but we met through our mutual problems with our brains, so it was alright.

Santa must have been watching, because I got a "you're on an 'on-call' basis and your call ain't needed" email in my inbox. Have I been very good, or very bad? I'm holding off an emotional judgment either way. Don't want to jump the gun and go spinning off into some foregone conclusion that hasn't even arrived yet. I wrote a very clear, neutrally worded response, explaining misunderstandings and misconceptions that may have happened. I shouldn't have, but at the end I apologized in a way, because once upon a time this manager that is so livid and sick of me was a friend who once hugged and kissed me. Eons ago, and she's no longer in a niche in my heart, but she was there once.

My stomach is reminding me the melodrama, pizza, jack and uncertainty don't play nice.
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