random thought/question of the morning
Is the notion of "Bridezilla" just yet another misogynist caricature of women? I mean, we've all known brides-to-be who have been nightmares to their friends and family, but I see this image invoked in the media with a frequency I find a bit . . . inflated. Thoughts?
I read that article and I agree that these are very, very unusually difficult brides, which makes me wonder if they fall into the category of very, very unusually difficult people that become just more difficult when it comes to their weddings. Let's face it, there are a lot of difficult people out there (I work with some of the most difficult!), and I would *dread* being asked to participate in a wedding where an already difficult person is the part of the marriage couple. Weddings cause stress, and the worst qualities of people come out more when people are stressed. I think "bridezilla" or "difficult bride behavior" is an indication as to how someone handles stressful situations in general, and weddings tend to stir up a lot of feelings on the parts of all involved (as in your case), so some parents may contribute by being more overbearing or controlling. I think sometimes, too, that this type of behavior may be exhibited when someone isn't ready for marriage, so the focus becomes on the wedding day rather than the days and years after as a way to deflect doubts and fears.
That said, I think a relatively laid back person is going to be relatively laid back about their wedding --- if the appropriate level of stress and strain is added in. And a bride who really wants particular people in their wedding party will work with the wedding party to make it happen. My sister has already told me that if the bridesmaid dress I have suddenly doesn't work a day or two before the wedding (having it altered on Jul 19th, wedding is Aug. 10th), I can just go to any store, get something in the same color that looks good on me, and she'll be fine. She's paid for part of other bridesmaids' dresses and for alterations because they couldn't afford them right out of pocket even after she looked and found inexpensive dresses available throughout the country as some of the bridesmaids are in California and the midwest.
I don't think all brides should or can do what my sister did, but I think her response is definitely far more common --- but I don't think that necessarily means there aren't a bunch of women who exhibit horrible behavior associated with their wedding because clearly that isn't true!
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