...
Don't blame Protea
March 13, 2009 Edition 1
Kevin McCallum Cricket SA denied yes-terday that the reason for their team's predica-ment against Australia was because the players, fans and administrators had finally rea-lised that "Proteas" was a "naff" name for a national team. CSA further denied that the team's players had begun calling themselves the "Charlies" in private.
They also denied that Ashwell Prince was in denial after being named team captain and opening batsman for the dead rubber third Test between the two nations, but then denied the chance to be skipper by the selectors. A spokesperson refused to comment on whether Prince had used the words "die" and "naai" during a conversation about the convener of national selectors.
"Actually, 'Deny' is a strong word for the way CSA feels about any blame being placed on the name 'Proteas'," said the spokesman. "Since we have taken on the flower as our symbol, we have felt in tune with the deeper meaning of both winning and losing. We are aware of the hurt we inflict on others when we win 2-1 away from home, but while we feel for Graeme Smith and his cricketing brothers, we are proud of the role we have played in turning the Aussies from Saggy Greens into Baggy Greens again. That is flower power; true cricketing love. Do not blame the Protea; for blame is shame and that is not our game, bru."
One member of the national team said he could take any amount of sledging from the Australians, including having his batting style likened to parts of a women's anatomy he never knew existed, but admitted that being called a "hairy petal" was getting to him.
"It's been tough since they took on this daft nickname for the team," said the player. "You try going out there and getting stick that you are not a 'Pro' and should be going for 'tea'; it's hard. Punter's the worst. He says in, like, a really sarky voi-ce: 'Hey blokes, I can't tell - is this a flower or a colourful artichoke?' Then they all laugh. When we try to get them back by telling them that there are 81 varieties of the King Protea, they do their research and hit us with 'Morning, King Sugar Bush', or 'ah diddums, Honeypot'."
It is believed that a core of the SA team have agreed to take on their own nickname. "Yeah, we've got like a secret group, like in Dead Poets Society, except without the dodgy poetry reading and literature stuff," said the player. "We call ourselves the 'Charlies' after one of our sponsors, plus it's on the shirt already, so we can grab it in pride like Nella did at SuperSport Park a few years back. We need the power of lager to bat like we're in the laager. Clever, huh? Now we just need to win the last Test so we can be proper Charlies."
...