Title: Dark Clouds
Author:
blaqkyouya /kyouya-sama
Length: Oneshot
Pairing: DaAku (Dazai Osamu-Akutagawa Ryunosuke)
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Angst, Dark, Drama
Summary: Inspired by Akutagawa's obssesion of Dazai and Dazai's suicide mania...
A/N: I know they're 2D, this's the first 2D fanfic I ever write...I ship DaAku to the MAX Changmin
Dark Clouds
Dazai looked up at the clouded sky after the rain stopped. His brown hair was wet and so was his long leather jacket. It didn’t bother him; nothing really bothered him actually. He wondered why he was alive as he had lost counts how many times he tried to commit suicide. It had become daily routine until everyone around him joked he was doing it for fun.
He’s not.
Dazai was always serious in his every suicide attempts; hoping soon he would die. Yet, he was still alive and soon might catch cold by his drenched cloth. He wondered could a cold kill. He knew it could; but he would need to deal with a lot of pain. And yet, he used to pain.
There was nothing and no one beside him. Even the metal railway below him mocked him. It was empty and there’s no changing that. As his late best friend said, there’s nothing could fulfill his emptiness and loneliness. There would not be any change whether he was in the dark side with the port mafia killing innocent people or he was in the bright side saving people with the detective agency.
Yet, he chose the detective agency, hoping he could do any good with his cursed power and broken soul.
“Dazai-san!”
He had to be hearing things; there’s no way Atsushi could find him here.
“Dazai!”
Even the annoying Kunikida’s voice clouded Dazai’s mind. He had to lose his mind.
“Dazai-san…”
Then came the voice he dread the most. He thought he was losing his mind when he felt a presence behind him. Yet, as he turned around, there he was, his protégé.
“Akutagawa…” Dazai spoke the name bitterly. How could he not?
“,,,What are you doing?” Akutagawa asked; there’s almost nothing hostile in his voice. It wasn’t like the usual Akutagawa Dazai encountered. His protégé always earned for his approval and wanted answer why he left the port mafia. Dazai couldn’t give both to Akutagawa, not if he---
“I asked what you are doing here?!” Akutagawa repeated the question. Now, this’s more like his protégé.
“…As you can see, I’m planning my final double suicide,” Dazai smiled like nothing was wrong and soon a train horn could be heard as two bright lights appeared suddenly behind Dazai. Akutagawa cursed as he activated his Rashamon just on time. He barely made it as his coat transformed and moved both of them out of the railway. The train horned in protest but neither man could care.
“Don’t you dare to die in front of me!” Akutagawa shouted as he coughed. Dazai just smiled as he sat on his butt. He sometime wondered what would happen if he never took Akutagawa as his protégé. One thing for sure, he would have died just now.
“Why?! Why Dazai-san?” Akutagawa managed to ask as he finally stopped coughing.
“Why did I leave the mafia? Why did I didn’t acknowledge you? Why did I almost kill myself?” Dazai asked,” Which one do you want to ask?”
Akutagawa growled in frustration as his coat transformed into sharp blade and pierced Dazai’s sideway. It graced his cheek but Dazai didn’t move; he just smiled, coldly. Akutagawa shivered at the darkness showed inside Dazai’s eyes but he wouldn’t back off now.
“You’re strong now, Akutagawa…” Dazai spoke,” But you’ll never be me because I won’t allow it…”
“I’ll surpass you, wait and see---“ Akutagawa couldn’t finish his sentence as suddenly Dazai appeared right in front of him. It was too fast even for Akutagawa and he knew he would be dead if Dazai wished for it. Instead of pain, a soft pat on his back was all his good.
“I don’t want to corrupt you anymore…that’s why I left” Dazai spoke softly as he pulled Akutagawa closer,” I don’t want you to be me…nothingness...that’s why I never acknowledged you.”
“What do you mean…Dazai-san?” Akutagawa couldn’t see Dazai’s face but he could feel something warm grew inside of him as Dazai pulled him even closer.
“I don’t want you to find the answers, ever, that’s why I almost killed myself. At least if that happens, you still have something to drive you in this life…” Dazai spoke as he let go of Akutagawa,” But now, I think I should live to make sure you never be me…”
“…Dazai-san…Why are you talking like th---“ Akutagawa couldn’t finish his sentence as Dazai’s lips sealed his. It was moist and warm, Akutagawa never felt anything like it. It was like his questions all over these years just vanished. He just wanted Dazai to come back to him again.
“Dazai-san…” Akutagawa couldn’t say it but Dazai knew better.
“We might choose different road but my feelings for you won’t change,” Dazai said.
‘Neither do I…’ Akutagawa said silently inside his heart. Dazai embraced Akutagawa once last chance as the sun finally shone on the sky. There’s no more dark cloud, neither on the sky nor in both men’s heart.