On being me...and 3 months in Guate
As of Saturday, I will have been here in Guatemala officially for 3 months. And boy the things that I am learning. Well I definitely feel more unapologetic about being myself. I never was one to care what someone thinks about me but I have never liked it when someone was upset or disappointed with me.....especially someone I look up to or care about. Or when someone woudl say something negative things about my personality or body. Well there is nothing wrong with that but you can´t please everyone all the time. I am finally not going to try to live up to anyones expectation´s anymore, well of course except for Jehovah. I am learning, have learned that no matter what you do someone is going to be disappointed or upset by something you do. I am not sharing this to say that this is a situation I am experiencing right now. I only say this because something just clicked and I suddenly stopped caring what people think of me.....like anyone. For example, a guy at my job was joking with me and told me I need to run to the bakery instead of walk because I am fat and I was like I can care less what you think. I seriously didnt feel anything, i just looked at him told him that I look great and that he can keep his comments to himself. It was the most liberating experience. I guess the older you get you realize that you can only be you and people are gonna love you or hate you and you cant make a person feel a certain way about you. I mean in principle I have always knew these things but now I feel them. I finally know and feel that I dont have to prove anything to anyone except for Jehovah. Being here and being the new girl on the block.....its easy to want to put your best foot forward so that people will like you when you dont know anyone and are making friends. But I just dont care. I am trying to survive and I dont have time to be what other people want me to be. I am blessed to have friends back home that truly love me for me and I feel content in knowing that.