WAKE UP
These days are changing
These are all the things I bought Yesterday and then transported on my bicycle...
. mangos
. banana's
. pineapple
. honeydew melon
. peaches
. green apples
. chinese apple
. grapes
. mandarines
. frozen blueberries, strawberries
. coconut milk
. spinach
. red crisp lettuce
. dark lettuce
. butter lettuce
. celery
. leak
. brussel sprouts
. eggplant
. avocado
. tomatoes
. orange pepper
. radish
. spring onion
. yellow onion
. garlic
. parsley
. oregano
. mint
. sprouts
. pasta
. couscous
. potatoes
. soy milk
. cashews
. pistachios
. tofu
. tuna
I have been sick so much since I got here. I am serious about this getting well business... Im tired of this.
I have never before been In such a dark place, and fallen into it so easily without knowing I was there. It scares me but I guess it is a good thing because I have now learned where this edge thing is...
Everyone that was in my house before have all moved out and 3 more have come in all in the same day...
Im the only one here that thinks of this house as my home. I try to keep everything under control here...but there are things beyond my control that fall apart, like the silverware for example is really cheap and it gets more and more rust spots on them every time we wash them in the dishwasher, or the shower door that is currently broken off, or the tea kettle that has a crack in the side and all the water leaks out. I mean the stairs railing is still on the floor, and there is now a mold in the bathroom from leaks. I feel I have been very patient and flexible towards all of this, anyways, I guess its a good thing, and the people that cant live in this kind of environment will just leave faster and find their own place, all of the people that were here last smoked weed everyday all day and did nothing but make huge messes, they stayed here until the company MADE them leave, the ones that are here now hide in their rooms all day and do nothing but play games on their computers, I guess I have spent my time completely in the kitchen setting up camp on the counters. making creations all weekend. Its been a nice change, Im really glad everyone that was in this house before is gone. Im so excited to be out of this fog Ive been living in the past...shit. 4 months? at least by the time I fully come out of this. I know I can come out of some pretty heavy shit. I am overwhelmed by this sense of magic im feeling by finally picking myself back up, Im excited to get back to what I feel in myself. My head clear, re finding all this good stuff inside of me.
I have been drinking huge amounts of this tea daily...peeing every 15 minutes
Making Falafel with veggies: tomatoes onions,cucumbers, sprouts, and a little lemon in big bowl.
Blending together a garlic sauce of spring onions, soy milk, garlic, mayo, lemon, oil.
Eggplant couscous dip. Blender, baked eggplant, couscous, soy milk, lemon, onion, garlic, red pepper, olive oil.
potatoes, broccoli, leak, parsley, garlic, wild mushrooms, and a dressing made of honey, dijon mustard, coconut milk, salt, pepper. Along with a salad with 3 different types of lettuce, fresh oregano, spring onions, capers, lemon, oil.
Smoothie this morning with mango, frozen banana's, coconut milk, green apple.
Im planning on healing myself on food. Its going to work I can feel it already.
...............................
E-mail to someone who likes me, that I dont like back.... gosh I did good on this situation,
I'm writing to you because I wanted to tell you why I've been so distant lately. You deserve to know, because you're my friend.
Since that night you stayed here after the carousell, I've been getting the impression that there is a shift in dynamic between us... I got confused about your intensions towards me so I paid closer attention to try to understand if it was just me being paranoid or if I had spotted something there.
At your birthday I really avoided all eye contact and general talking to you because I didn't want to give you the wrong impression. I felt bad about that, and I think I didn't really know how to deal with it. I didn't want to bring this up out of the blue, but I don't think we feel the same way about each other.
You are someone who understands me pretty accurately, and not many people understand how my brain works. I also think I can learn a lot from you, and you are a positive influence. I don't want to lose your friendship. This is how I see you.
I hope this email doesn't make things more awkward, and that im not too off with my judgments.
I hope you are well.
............................
On a totally different note, I really wish I could record these skype videos interacting with my brother.... him playing my gold sparkly accordion,,, stealing and taking it to San Diego with him to play on stage with his friends. I want to be near this so bad... aww I miss things, I miss things so much.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kab6iMT4olo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJyFjtPowP8
This was a joke btw...
These are all the things I bought Yesterday and then transported on my bicycle...
. mangos
. banana's
. pineapple
. honeydew melon
. peaches
. green apples
. chinese apple
. grapes
. mandarines
. frozen blueberries, strawberries
. coconut milk
. spinach
. red crisp lettuce
. dark lettuce
. butter lettuce
. celery
. leak
. brussel sprouts
. eggplant
. avocado
. tomatoes
. orange pepper
. radish
. spring onion
. yellow onion
. garlic
. parsley
. oregano
. mint
. sprouts
. pasta
. couscous
. potatoes
. soy milk
. cashews
. pistachios
. tofu
. tuna
I have been sick so much since I got here. I am serious about this getting well business... Im tired of this.
I have never before been In such a dark place, and fallen into it so easily without knowing I was there. It scares me but I guess it is a good thing because I have now learned where this edge thing is...
Everyone that was in my house before have all moved out and 3 more have come in all in the same day...
Im the only one here that thinks of this house as my home. I try to keep everything under control here...but there are things beyond my control that fall apart, like the silverware for example is really cheap and it gets more and more rust spots on them every time we wash them in the dishwasher, or the shower door that is currently broken off, or the tea kettle that has a crack in the side and all the water leaks out. I mean the stairs railing is still on the floor, and there is now a mold in the bathroom from leaks. I feel I have been very patient and flexible towards all of this, anyways, I guess its a good thing, and the people that cant live in this kind of environment will just leave faster and find their own place, all of the people that were here last smoked weed everyday all day and did nothing but make huge messes, they stayed here until the company MADE them leave, the ones that are here now hide in their rooms all day and do nothing but play games on their computers, I guess I have spent my time completely in the kitchen setting up camp on the counters. making creations all weekend. Its been a nice change, Im really glad everyone that was in this house before is gone. Im so excited to be out of this fog Ive been living in the past...shit. 4 months? at least by the time I fully come out of this. I know I can come out of some pretty heavy shit. I am overwhelmed by this sense of magic im feeling by finally picking myself back up, Im excited to get back to what I feel in myself. My head clear, re finding all this good stuff inside of me.
I have been drinking huge amounts of this tea daily...peeing every 15 minutes
Making Falafel with veggies: tomatoes onions,cucumbers, sprouts, and a little lemon in big bowl.
Blending together a garlic sauce of spring onions, soy milk, garlic, mayo, lemon, oil.
Eggplant couscous dip. Blender, baked eggplant, couscous, soy milk, lemon, onion, garlic, red pepper, olive oil.
potatoes, broccoli, leak, parsley, garlic, wild mushrooms, and a dressing made of honey, dijon mustard, coconut milk, salt, pepper. Along with a salad with 3 different types of lettuce, fresh oregano, spring onions, capers, lemon, oil.
Smoothie this morning with mango, frozen banana's, coconut milk, green apple.
Im planning on healing myself on food. Its going to work I can feel it already.
...............................
E-mail to someone who likes me, that I dont like back.... gosh I did good on this situation,
I'm writing to you because I wanted to tell you why I've been so distant lately. You deserve to know, because you're my friend.
Since that night you stayed here after the carousell, I've been getting the impression that there is a shift in dynamic between us... I got confused about your intensions towards me so I paid closer attention to try to understand if it was just me being paranoid or if I had spotted something there.
At your birthday I really avoided all eye contact and general talking to you because I didn't want to give you the wrong impression. I felt bad about that, and I think I didn't really know how to deal with it. I didn't want to bring this up out of the blue, but I don't think we feel the same way about each other.
You are someone who understands me pretty accurately, and not many people understand how my brain works. I also think I can learn a lot from you, and you are a positive influence. I don't want to lose your friendship. This is how I see you.
I hope this email doesn't make things more awkward, and that im not too off with my judgments.
I hope you are well.
............................
On a totally different note, I really wish I could record these skype videos interacting with my brother.... him playing my gold sparkly accordion,,, stealing and taking it to San Diego with him to play on stage with his friends. I want to be near this so bad... aww I miss things, I miss things so much.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kab6iMT4olo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJyFjtPowP8
This was a joke btw...