Jumping in Puddles and other light topics
Sometimes I think about everything horrible that can happen in my life. Then I think about that Woody Allen movie where he is an agoraphobic and dresses up in tinfoil so he can catch the love of his life dispite all of his fears. How is this related? Good question, one that my brain will not answer no matter how many times I threaten it with oxygen depravation.
First point I would like to make: Splashing in puddles is the most fun I have had by myself in years. People that are above that better start learning how to starch their collars and press their slacks right now. I want to keep doing that till the day I die. Why is it so fun? I think it is cause the way the water goes up your leg and how your shoes make squishing sounds after they fill with water. The sound of that squish is infinatly better than when they are wet for other reasons, it is just a different sound all together. It makes me think about when I was little and walking home from Gompers in my little boots... Things were better. Not like they were better, but a peice of a toliet from the construction site could be a discarded bit of ivory, or a bunch of dead fish a mystery...
Right now, I am sitting in my room with my lights on and I am wishing that I was stoned. I want to have a simple feeling, I don't want to hash out complex emotions or deal with the potential outcomes of different futures. I want to know what it feels like to trust those that I love. I want to know that things will be ok. I want to know what phenome is and why allophones are significant. I don't like the idea that everyone dies alone.
Speaking of that Mike yesterday in a breif burst of raw emotion confessed his need, his passion, to find God. I myself wish I had the courage to take that path more than just once in a while during an introspective binge. If there is anything that I am sure of is that HE isn't around now, or at the very least he has left us to our own devices. Perhaps one might say his devices, because they ultmatly lie with him. There is just so much pretentious philosophy that is inherent to this that I dont' even want to discuss it in any depth. I just wonder about the meaning of things, or at the least if I am finding meaning in my path that my life is taking. Is meaning essential to me? Can I find it without listening to dead people and conforming to ridiculous rules?
Why is there so much stupidity in the world today? Mistakes are one thing but stupidity is rampant in my life. I have a hard time taking classes seriously because before the prof has finished thier sentence I have finished thier paragraph... Nothing really challenges me but the rediculous busy work that I am assigned and that is just a challenge of my patience not my intelegence. Ha...
I dance closer to the fire
closer and closer
twirling and hoping
till I stand at the brink
blistering with heat
burning from within
melting from without
my Icarian wings driping ghostly patterns on the ground
Faster and faster I dance
Closer and Closer I creep
One last hop
Any closer and I would be moving away
As my body dances with the heat of the flames,
like ambers stired by a breeze,
screaming
existance is but the fire
Life is but a flame
burning from within
what cannot be consumed from without
there is no catharsis for suicides
Prescot Wielhelm Thurgood EsQ.
First point I would like to make: Splashing in puddles is the most fun I have had by myself in years. People that are above that better start learning how to starch their collars and press their slacks right now. I want to keep doing that till the day I die. Why is it so fun? I think it is cause the way the water goes up your leg and how your shoes make squishing sounds after they fill with water. The sound of that squish is infinatly better than when they are wet for other reasons, it is just a different sound all together. It makes me think about when I was little and walking home from Gompers in my little boots... Things were better. Not like they were better, but a peice of a toliet from the construction site could be a discarded bit of ivory, or a bunch of dead fish a mystery...
Right now, I am sitting in my room with my lights on and I am wishing that I was stoned. I want to have a simple feeling, I don't want to hash out complex emotions or deal with the potential outcomes of different futures. I want to know what it feels like to trust those that I love. I want to know that things will be ok. I want to know what phenome is and why allophones are significant. I don't like the idea that everyone dies alone.
Speaking of that Mike yesterday in a breif burst of raw emotion confessed his need, his passion, to find God. I myself wish I had the courage to take that path more than just once in a while during an introspective binge. If there is anything that I am sure of is that HE isn't around now, or at the very least he has left us to our own devices. Perhaps one might say his devices, because they ultmatly lie with him. There is just so much pretentious philosophy that is inherent to this that I dont' even want to discuss it in any depth. I just wonder about the meaning of things, or at the least if I am finding meaning in my path that my life is taking. Is meaning essential to me? Can I find it without listening to dead people and conforming to ridiculous rules?
Why is there so much stupidity in the world today? Mistakes are one thing but stupidity is rampant in my life. I have a hard time taking classes seriously because before the prof has finished thier sentence I have finished thier paragraph... Nothing really challenges me but the rediculous busy work that I am assigned and that is just a challenge of my patience not my intelegence. Ha...
I dance closer to the fire
closer and closer
twirling and hoping
till I stand at the brink
blistering with heat
burning from within
melting from without
my Icarian wings driping ghostly patterns on the ground
Faster and faster I dance
Closer and Closer I creep
One last hop
Any closer and I would be moving away
As my body dances with the heat of the flames,
like ambers stired by a breeze,
screaming
existance is but the fire
Life is but a flame
burning from within
what cannot be consumed from without
there is no catharsis for suicides
Prescot Wielhelm Thurgood EsQ.