Oct 12, 2004 23:54
Yes it’s wrong to do what you’re doing Ryan, but only because you didn’t follow through with it. Don’t say you’re tired of everyone in the group and then turn around and aim it only at the people you’re truly intending it for. (Didn’t you say that that particular phone message was messed up and you didn’t hear it? “I respect your …)
You still haven’t told me what a friend is. First, if anyone worked hard to save that friendship it was I. Everything I did was just another wrong. Talking started it off, and I thought that’s what made us friends. When you cut that I tried saving it by hanging out with you more. Now that’s cut. I’m lost now man. You taught me all those things, and I looked up to you like a big bro. You know, how a little bro wants to always tag along. And then the poop hit the fan when I lost my mentor, and then I stopped caring. If I lost my best friend, then why should I care about the others? That was what was going through my head.
Smashing bills car~~~~an accident, you know, shit happens. Stuff is fixed now. And you know what, I think he has a little extra money left over from the insurance company.
Stealing Aj’s girlfriend~~~I did that because you and chaz told me to go for what I want and fuck everyone else.
Hailey~~~~~I never said her drawing was shit. I said that Ryan’s looked better. And fuck you and her if I cant say what I want. “Say what I want and do what I want.” Isn’t that your motto?
Suicidal~~~if you all don’t know that that was only a test to see who cared then you really don’t know me. Yes it was wrong, and I apologized to everyone. And I cleared that up, plus I don’t test anymore. That shit is in the past, lets leave it there.
I can’t be nice because I have no reason to be nice. I LOST MY BESTFRIEND. It’s a vicious circle. I lost friends because I’m not nice and I’m not nice because I lost friends.
And I have no clue what’s going on with Diane. And if I’ve done any hurtful teasing then I’m sorry.
And no, it doesn’t kill me to see Theresa and drake together. You think you got that one figured out, but you don’t. Theresa and drake are the furthest things in my mind and I’m not out to destroy anything. I don’t give a shit if they are together, I could care less. In fact, if it wasn’t for Ryan’s journal I wouldn’t even have thought of them. And if anyone doesn’t believe that then go fuck off.
Your right Ryan, I do go to foye to see what he thinks of my pictures, because I want him to tell me what’s wrong, since you know, that’s what a teacher is for. Why do you think fucking English students who are good writers go to fucking English lab to have their papers checked? I don’t always spot something. I have an idea that something is not good and I want to know if foye sees anything else. IM FUCKING LEARNING. What the fuck do you care anyways. Leave me alone.
Why did I feel the need to beat you Ryan? Because I was pissed off that you fuckers thought foye did most of my pot for me. Fuck off.
Now, im not taking ryans journal in a way that he wanted to help me be a better person, because i truely dont beleive that was his intent. but i will take from it a lesson. if people are willing to give me a second chance then im sorry for everything that i did on an individual bases, and i will want to change. but i need someone to maybe help me and show me the ropes if possible. but if noone is willing to give me a second chance then there is no reason for me to change because all is lost.
One last thing. Just to avoid more confrontation, I didn’t write the comment in Ryan’s, “ok so an executive decision has been made.”
FEEL FREE TO COMMENT THAT’S ALL I HAVE.