(Untitled)

[blankshot1031]

Not a Legend

"Nikki Angel," he whispered, looking at me with unease; as if the name was poison.

"Who is she," i asked, staring into his large brown eyes. I loved his eyes; simply because they hold something i never will.

"She's well... a mystery," he said, pausing and pulling me closer, as if to protect me from an unseen force. "Nikki Angel is a

Comments

[blankshot1031]

Ur joking right?... i should tell u, being in school helps with this stuff. and even with school...well u get the idea

[blankshot1031]

Thats so Cool!!!! *claps* Whats college like?... trust me i asked my cousin the same thing.(no im not making fun, i do think its cool.)
im going into 9th grade Lit so, sometimes i dont care what or where i put things. being careless is what i do best XD. im also aware it can take alot of effect on the presentation of my writing and if people will take it seriously or as some piece of crap written in pen with coke stains on the page.
Next time I will put more effort into what I post, k?

[derniersreflets]

Intriguing. I liked this a lot and thought the premise was pretty cool, if done in a non-cliched way (I can't say at the moment; there isn't enough for me to tell).

However, I do agree with kerri_is_dead: you need to go through and check this for grammar and capitalisation. As you've posted in a few comms, I'm guessing you want to be taken seriously as a writer, but until you learn the value of constructive criticism you won't be.

[blankshot1031]

I understand my grammar sucks. and i agree with constructive critcism thing, *adds that to the list of things to do