(no subject)
Dear Friends,
Many things have happened during my last entry which was approximately three billion years ago BUT I shall not do a giant post with many little details because I actually want people to read the entirety of this... maybe.
Major things that have happened involve me moving into my own place - not really by choice... Dad had to move to QLD in the last week of my HSC so I had to move out the week after my HSC. Luckily Giverny and her family are lovely so they graciously offered me a place for a little while and helped me find the place I am now - which I do like; although lonely at times, its the perfect little music pad.
HSC went ok - better than expected when weighed up against circumstances but I wasn't happy because seem to be a perfectionist that will never reach it - actually, I did feel happy for a tiny bit til i heard what everyone else got - haha some of you kids are amazing (well you all are in your own right but geez; some of your brains are incredible).
I've been feeling odd lately (yeh this is the vague part of the entry where I don't even know the specifics) - I seem to be sensitive to everything around me... not in terms of things that happen to me; but rather I seem to see into things more empathatically, even those that are directly linked to me, and my mind gets shaken up by it. It's rather odd - I guess I learn alot but still. [that paragraph really didn't make ANY sense at all]
I think I'm getting to the stage where I wish I would fall in love, or more that someone would fall in love with me... or maybe I just want to get into the conservatorium... or maybe I just want to be better at cello. I'm not quite sure... but I seem to be yearning something that I'm not aware of. Anybody have a clue?
So yeh - it's one of those cliched things where you feel something but you don't know what. I always thought I was too mature to ever experience that. How sad.
Maybe music isn't where I want to go - I mean; will it really fufill me? Will I feel like I have affected... changed... saved... the world through it? I'm thinking about letting it go for a while - that sounds like I've lost my passion but I'm very unsure of things at the moment. It's odd. I want to be a youth counsellor maybe. I think I would be good at that. I'm actuall growing a passion for it. Or maybe I just want to work in a sushi restuarant. That would be kind of fun as well. I'm just not sure. I need someone to scream at me the answers - but it seems God isn't into the screaming business. Could someone do it for me please?
I'm actual quite well - life has been fairly nice to me this holidays as much as I do feel out of it. Still getting over the fact that my own group doesn't invite me to days at the beach or anything like that BUT I realised for the first time IN MY LIFE a friend of mine invited me away with him and his family. It was the first christmas holiday in about 10 years for me - it felt weird but really nice. Many incredible things happened.
I hope everyone is well. I'd like to say something inspirational like "keep your eyes focused on your joyful future and all will be well"... something like that - but at the moment I feel you should keep your eyes, although always open, on the close things you have around you. Your family, your friends, your faith... your memories, your feelings, your intentions... your loves, your favourites, your sentiments. They are the things that make like such an incredible thing. The future is empty until it reaches the present - so live for the moment whilst still allowing room for the future to come to pass in the most exciting and amazing of fashions. [I don't think this paragraph made much sense either]
I got an awesome acoustic guitar from my dad for my forgotten 18th birthday, my missed graduation and christmas combined and I realised that all I really want to do is start a folk band and frolic on the shoreline.
Many things have happened during my last entry which was approximately three billion years ago BUT I shall not do a giant post with many little details because I actually want people to read the entirety of this... maybe.
Major things that have happened involve me moving into my own place - not really by choice... Dad had to move to QLD in the last week of my HSC so I had to move out the week after my HSC. Luckily Giverny and her family are lovely so they graciously offered me a place for a little while and helped me find the place I am now - which I do like; although lonely at times, its the perfect little music pad.
HSC went ok - better than expected when weighed up against circumstances but I wasn't happy because seem to be a perfectionist that will never reach it - actually, I did feel happy for a tiny bit til i heard what everyone else got - haha some of you kids are amazing (well you all are in your own right but geez; some of your brains are incredible).
I've been feeling odd lately (yeh this is the vague part of the entry where I don't even know the specifics) - I seem to be sensitive to everything around me... not in terms of things that happen to me; but rather I seem to see into things more empathatically, even those that are directly linked to me, and my mind gets shaken up by it. It's rather odd - I guess I learn alot but still. [that paragraph really didn't make ANY sense at all]
I think I'm getting to the stage where I wish I would fall in love, or more that someone would fall in love with me... or maybe I just want to get into the conservatorium... or maybe I just want to be better at cello. I'm not quite sure... but I seem to be yearning something that I'm not aware of. Anybody have a clue?
So yeh - it's one of those cliched things where you feel something but you don't know what. I always thought I was too mature to ever experience that. How sad.
Maybe music isn't where I want to go - I mean; will it really fufill me? Will I feel like I have affected... changed... saved... the world through it? I'm thinking about letting it go for a while - that sounds like I've lost my passion but I'm very unsure of things at the moment. It's odd. I want to be a youth counsellor maybe. I think I would be good at that. I'm actuall growing a passion for it. Or maybe I just want to work in a sushi restuarant. That would be kind of fun as well. I'm just not sure. I need someone to scream at me the answers - but it seems God isn't into the screaming business. Could someone do it for me please?
I'm actual quite well - life has been fairly nice to me this holidays as much as I do feel out of it. Still getting over the fact that my own group doesn't invite me to days at the beach or anything like that BUT I realised for the first time IN MY LIFE a friend of mine invited me away with him and his family. It was the first christmas holiday in about 10 years for me - it felt weird but really nice. Many incredible things happened.
I hope everyone is well. I'd like to say something inspirational like "keep your eyes focused on your joyful future and all will be well"... something like that - but at the moment I feel you should keep your eyes, although always open, on the close things you have around you. Your family, your friends, your faith... your memories, your feelings, your intentions... your loves, your favourites, your sentiments. They are the things that make like such an incredible thing. The future is empty until it reaches the present - so live for the moment whilst still allowing room for the future to come to pass in the most exciting and amazing of fashions. [I don't think this paragraph made much sense either]
I got an awesome acoustic guitar from my dad for my forgotten 18th birthday, my missed graduation and christmas combined and I realised that all I really want to do is start a folk band and frolic on the shoreline.