Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir

[blanketofashes]

so last night i had a dream that i was cast in a play similar to Moulin Rouge but only slightly. if you've seen Moulin Rouge the part where they're in the place and they're all dancing and putting on a show and whatnot......that type of show. Corsets, juggling flames, dancers, people in cages, yea....it was nuts. what was even crazier is the fact I was the lead role. the main attraction. i was Nicole Kidman in a sense...without the passing out during my performance. but it was only rehearsals. the dream started with me going through costume designs. i couldn't find the right colours or style to wear. i was going crazy! i couldn't be the lead if i didn't have the right costume! Finally i found a corset, rich deep dark red with green ribbons. it was perfect. now to rehearse. THAT was the crazy part. my director was a voice in the dark commanding me, telling me what to do. "Show me leg!" "Dance!" "Crawl more!" it was horrible. i felt like a puppet. i woke up thinking "wtf" and then i did some math homework to get my mind off of it. i wanted to cry in the dream. i felt like i was being used for sick pleasure. i dunno how to explain the dream anymore without wanting to vomit. but that was it.

today i went to school late b/c my dad let me sleep in. awesome. felt deathly sick all day. no more cold. it was like i was going to vomit. and i was hot outside and inside. and i was dizzy. i hated it. i feel a bit better. but it was the suck.

tonight i am working but i really hope i get to see alex before work. i just need to be held and told i am loved. it helps when i feel like passing out. lataz.

EDIT: so i got my taxes and stuff from my job on monday. i have NO idea what to do but my mum said she'll help me b/c i'll probably end up getting a few hundred dollars back. i PRAY she is right b/c i could use that money more than fresh air right now. *lick* HOORAY LEARNING ABOUT LIFE!! *loads gun* hehe i kid i kid