Keith Richards, Eat Your Heart Out
Gosh, I feel like such a rock star. I just puked my brains out in a toilet at a party. I love alcohol! It's so cool to drink.
I guess I'll position a pause in the irony/satire and mention that I do think drinking in moderation is fine, whatever, but Goddamn, it's not worth THIS. I HATE vomiting. I'd say I enjoy it even less than Eminem's last album (or the one before that, or the one after that). Be smart kids - don't drink. And if you do drink, don't be a fucking dumbass and toss your own cookies.
I guess I'll position a pause in the irony/satire and mention that I do think drinking in moderation is fine, whatever, but Goddamn, it's not worth THIS. I HATE vomiting. I'd say I enjoy it even less than Eminem's last album (or the one before that, or the one after that). Be smart kids - don't drink. And if you do drink, don't be a fucking dumbass and toss your own cookies.