Chemistry at Bay (4/?)
Title: Chemistry at Bay (4/?)
Fandom: Real People/Gossip Girl actors/Robert Pattinson
Pairing: Ed/Leighton
Rating: PG-13
Summary: They're in the same movie but not as love interests. It was for their own good they weren't cast as opposites, the director said. Ed and Leighton think they'll be fine. They're just friends after all...right?
Notes: Thanks to Dawn for the beta, anyone you heard of doesn't belong to me, and I swear, I'm cutting my hands off after this. *headdesk* Or sliding down into Hell on a waterslide...except it's got lava so it's a lavaslide? Eh, just read!
Banner by issa_bell
Part 4
They did not stop making out despite the fact their kiss was supposed to last one minute. Every time they tried to do that kiss, it became passionate. They could not make anything dry and cold. His lips were made of perfection. Pillowy perfection. She was jealous of Jessica at times. The girl got to kiss his lips once the cameras stopped rolling. If only she could be Jessica all the time. But in a way, it was good that she wasn't. Then she could never be in such a role.
"This isn't working," he murmured.
"Maybe we should watch Twilight," she suggested. "That should teach us what we shouldn't be doing."
"Don't be cruel, Leight," Ed warned her. "He's a nice guy."
"I know he's nice. It's not an insult on him. Just the movie," she said. "But compare Edward and Bella to Chuck and Blair...it's not the same."
"Yeah, Chuck and Blair aren't phallic, marble objects that sparkle."
"Look who's being cruel now," she snorted, picking up the script again. "Come on, Agent 35. Let's start somewhere else. Like another scene where we don't kiss, but we're talking! Because talking is good! Talking does not always lead to kissing!" She flipped through her script and came across a scene. "How about when you and I meet for the very first time?"
"Fine by me. Go from the top." As usual, he didn't need the script. "You start."
She scanned her script to find Contessa's first line to Agent 35. She was sauntering towards him like a snake charmer. Or so the description read. "Well, if you're the 35th one, I wonder what happened to the first 34."
"...Some died, some retired, and some just don't know how to handle a woman." He grabbed her waist and pulled her close. Her leg hiked up and brushed against his thigh. "I take it you're the victim."
"Nice. I take it that you're none of the above," she purred, playing with his chest. Her fingers began to walk up to his collarbone. Damn Ed. He had to rip another shirt to show off his chest hair. Not that she was turned on by this. Sure, she noticed he was working out. Those chest muscles were beginning to show. He had a man's chest, not one of those little boy's chests. She couldn't understand who could find Ed unattractive. So what if he had chest hair and a lack of abs? That made him all the more appealing.
"As you know, your life is in danger."
Oh God, the whispering. Be still, her heart. "Tell me something I haven't figured out, Mr. 35."
"I'm highly qualified, Miss Vontessa."
Leighton couldn't help herself; not only did her character fail at everything, her last name was even more laughable. She giggled even though it was not part of the script. "My my, Mr. 35, if I weren't Contessa Fontessa Vontessa III and a single woman, I would say that you were being naughty. Because I feel you coming onto me."
He pushed her away. "Not happening, Miss Vontessa. I'm here to protect you, not start a romantic relationship. Besides I am..."
"Married?" she pouted. "I knew it! I knew it, you and Vanessa made sparks fly all over the place! It's no wonder you've gotten married in secret."
There was a pause and she began to wonder if he had forgotten his line. He just looked at her, eyebrow arched. "What's wrong?"
"...You said Vanessa."
"Oh! I'm sorry, I was making stuff up and...her name popped up," she admitted. "This script is just driving me crazy! I hate everything about it!" Frustrated, she crumpled the script up. "I thought this would be fun, we'd be working together. And...we're not. I can't do this 'lack of chemistry'."
"Then why don't you drop out?" he suggested.
"Because..." She frowned. He was right. Why didn't she drop out of this hellish movie? It wasn't like they couldn't replace her. They had plenty of time to get a new Contessa Fontessa Vontessa III. She could drop out and go back to doing movies like The Roommate. Sure, it would never win her an Oscar, but at least she wouldn't have three rhyming names. And if she died, at least it would not be because she couldn't swim.
"You're right. I don't like anything about this. The smart thing would be to quit and do something else. Something I would be much better at doing."
"You don't want to drop out, do you?" he concluded. "And I'm guessing it's not because this is the role of a lifetime."
"I'm trying. I'm doing the dance steps, I'm working on my emotions, and I'm trying to...not be attracted to you. I know this is not Gossip Girl and not everything I do will be. But I just can't get into this character." She looked down at the crumpled script in her hand. "I wish we could change this whole thing."
He looked at that script and read the lines in silence. No wonder she hated her role. The woman was pathetic and spineless, everything that Leighton was not. Although he hadn't said a word, he felt for her. She got a lot of flack from the director and producers. But she was doing her best with such a weak role. He knew just wanted to do a lot more.
"Let's make something up," he suggested. "You don't like this, then make up something new."
"Like what?"
"Make up our own scene. Do the exact opposite of what they're telling you. Do what they wouldn't do."
She looked skeptical. "...Would Chuck and Blair do those things?"
He grinned. "Maybe, maybe not."
That convinced her. "Then let's do it."
Three hours later...
Rob was tired. Not that he was surprised by fatigue anymore. Ever since agreeing to do Twilight, he was growing more and more tired by the world. Girls were crazy about him, rumors were spreading, and this new movie was not helping much. Now new rumors were spreading about his time with Leighton Meester and Ed Westwick. The latest titles from OK, US, and Star magazines already were taking about his affair with Leighton and how furious Kristen Stewart was. It was such a load of bull but it sold. But as long as the people involved didn't believe a word, then it didn't matter.
He ran his fingers through his now dark hair. For the role, he had to have it dyed dark brown. This Edward was not a handsome vampire that was built like a marble statue. He was normal and struggling in a relationship. He didn't win people over with his looks. Even still, the girls recognized him. They continued to jump him and demand bites on their necks. What was worse was that they were dragging Ed Westwick into this. Never mind that Ed had nothing to do with Twilight, they just wanted a piece of him. In a way, he felt responsible. Poor Leighton was miserable because of her role and Ed was going to die thanks to a crazy fangirl one day.
But at least they were not out tonight. No one could spot him in this empty parking lot. He could walk in peace. He could make it to his place without someone dangling from his neck. The last girl who did that almost fell off and broke her arm.
He had made it halfway down the parking lot when he saw something. Walking up closer, he recognized it. It was Leighton's car. The one that her character Contessa drove around in throughout the movie. Normally the hood was down but it was up and the windows were rolled. He could see nothing inside it because everything was fogged up. But it was not a cold night so that meant one thing. It was hot inside.
He knocked on the door of the car. Lucky Leighton and Sebastian. Those two were getting it on and steaming up the windows. "Having a good night, Leight?"
Someone rolled down the window and he finally saw Leighton. Her hair was a bird's nest and she was trying hard to cover her breasts with a shower curtain. It looked like she had ripped it out of her bathroom and was using it as a prop. Maybe this was one of her kinks. But it didn't matter as they were both adults. This was not the shock. Except for the shower curtain, he didn't understand that.
Then Ed popped up from behind her. Just like her, he was naked. Unlike her, he didn't hide anything. He gasped and tried to hide behind Leighton, ashamed that he had been caught. Both were sweating hard and it wasn't because of the warm night air. The whole puzzle suddenly made sense now that all the pieces were together.
"It's okay, Rob, we're just rehearsing our new scene," Leighton replied sheepishly.
Robert backed away from the car slowly, amusement and satisfaction of knowing the truth both plastered on his face.
TBC...
Note: Okay, I think there's at least one or two more parts left. I think...I'm not sure. Forgive me, Twilight fans, I just couldn't resist poking a little fun at the series. It was too easy. I adore Rob to death though. I'm still kinda hoping he'd end up on GG one day and it would make my dreams come true. Lol. Thanks for sticking with this.
Fandom: Real People/Gossip Girl actors/Robert Pattinson
Pairing: Ed/Leighton
Rating: PG-13
Summary: They're in the same movie but not as love interests. It was for their own good they weren't cast as opposites, the director said. Ed and Leighton think they'll be fine. They're just friends after all...right?
Notes: Thanks to Dawn for the beta, anyone you heard of doesn't belong to me, and I swear, I'm cutting my hands off after this. *headdesk* Or sliding down into Hell on a waterslide...except it's got lava so it's a lavaslide? Eh, just read!
Banner by issa_bell
Part 4
They did not stop making out despite the fact their kiss was supposed to last one minute. Every time they tried to do that kiss, it became passionate. They could not make anything dry and cold. His lips were made of perfection. Pillowy perfection. She was jealous of Jessica at times. The girl got to kiss his lips once the cameras stopped rolling. If only she could be Jessica all the time. But in a way, it was good that she wasn't. Then she could never be in such a role.
"This isn't working," he murmured.
"Maybe we should watch Twilight," she suggested. "That should teach us what we shouldn't be doing."
"Don't be cruel, Leight," Ed warned her. "He's a nice guy."
"I know he's nice. It's not an insult on him. Just the movie," she said. "But compare Edward and Bella to Chuck and Blair...it's not the same."
"Yeah, Chuck and Blair aren't phallic, marble objects that sparkle."
"Look who's being cruel now," she snorted, picking up the script again. "Come on, Agent 35. Let's start somewhere else. Like another scene where we don't kiss, but we're talking! Because talking is good! Talking does not always lead to kissing!" She flipped through her script and came across a scene. "How about when you and I meet for the very first time?"
"Fine by me. Go from the top." As usual, he didn't need the script. "You start."
She scanned her script to find Contessa's first line to Agent 35. She was sauntering towards him like a snake charmer. Or so the description read. "Well, if you're the 35th one, I wonder what happened to the first 34."
"...Some died, some retired, and some just don't know how to handle a woman." He grabbed her waist and pulled her close. Her leg hiked up and brushed against his thigh. "I take it you're the victim."
"Nice. I take it that you're none of the above," she purred, playing with his chest. Her fingers began to walk up to his collarbone. Damn Ed. He had to rip another shirt to show off his chest hair. Not that she was turned on by this. Sure, she noticed he was working out. Those chest muscles were beginning to show. He had a man's chest, not one of those little boy's chests. She couldn't understand who could find Ed unattractive. So what if he had chest hair and a lack of abs? That made him all the more appealing.
"As you know, your life is in danger."
Oh God, the whispering. Be still, her heart. "Tell me something I haven't figured out, Mr. 35."
"I'm highly qualified, Miss Vontessa."
Leighton couldn't help herself; not only did her character fail at everything, her last name was even more laughable. She giggled even though it was not part of the script. "My my, Mr. 35, if I weren't Contessa Fontessa Vontessa III and a single woman, I would say that you were being naughty. Because I feel you coming onto me."
He pushed her away. "Not happening, Miss Vontessa. I'm here to protect you, not start a romantic relationship. Besides I am..."
"Married?" she pouted. "I knew it! I knew it, you and Vanessa made sparks fly all over the place! It's no wonder you've gotten married in secret."
There was a pause and she began to wonder if he had forgotten his line. He just looked at her, eyebrow arched. "What's wrong?"
"...You said Vanessa."
"Oh! I'm sorry, I was making stuff up and...her name popped up," she admitted. "This script is just driving me crazy! I hate everything about it!" Frustrated, she crumpled the script up. "I thought this would be fun, we'd be working together. And...we're not. I can't do this 'lack of chemistry'."
"Then why don't you drop out?" he suggested.
"Because..." She frowned. He was right. Why didn't she drop out of this hellish movie? It wasn't like they couldn't replace her. They had plenty of time to get a new Contessa Fontessa Vontessa III. She could drop out and go back to doing movies like The Roommate. Sure, it would never win her an Oscar, but at least she wouldn't have three rhyming names. And if she died, at least it would not be because she couldn't swim.
"You're right. I don't like anything about this. The smart thing would be to quit and do something else. Something I would be much better at doing."
"You don't want to drop out, do you?" he concluded. "And I'm guessing it's not because this is the role of a lifetime."
"I'm trying. I'm doing the dance steps, I'm working on my emotions, and I'm trying to...not be attracted to you. I know this is not Gossip Girl and not everything I do will be. But I just can't get into this character." She looked down at the crumpled script in her hand. "I wish we could change this whole thing."
He looked at that script and read the lines in silence. No wonder she hated her role. The woman was pathetic and spineless, everything that Leighton was not. Although he hadn't said a word, he felt for her. She got a lot of flack from the director and producers. But she was doing her best with such a weak role. He knew just wanted to do a lot more.
"Let's make something up," he suggested. "You don't like this, then make up something new."
"Like what?"
"Make up our own scene. Do the exact opposite of what they're telling you. Do what they wouldn't do."
She looked skeptical. "...Would Chuck and Blair do those things?"
He grinned. "Maybe, maybe not."
That convinced her. "Then let's do it."
Three hours later...
Rob was tired. Not that he was surprised by fatigue anymore. Ever since agreeing to do Twilight, he was growing more and more tired by the world. Girls were crazy about him, rumors were spreading, and this new movie was not helping much. Now new rumors were spreading about his time with Leighton Meester and Ed Westwick. The latest titles from OK, US, and Star magazines already were taking about his affair with Leighton and how furious Kristen Stewart was. It was such a load of bull but it sold. But as long as the people involved didn't believe a word, then it didn't matter.
He ran his fingers through his now dark hair. For the role, he had to have it dyed dark brown. This Edward was not a handsome vampire that was built like a marble statue. He was normal and struggling in a relationship. He didn't win people over with his looks. Even still, the girls recognized him. They continued to jump him and demand bites on their necks. What was worse was that they were dragging Ed Westwick into this. Never mind that Ed had nothing to do with Twilight, they just wanted a piece of him. In a way, he felt responsible. Poor Leighton was miserable because of her role and Ed was going to die thanks to a crazy fangirl one day.
But at least they were not out tonight. No one could spot him in this empty parking lot. He could walk in peace. He could make it to his place without someone dangling from his neck. The last girl who did that almost fell off and broke her arm.
He had made it halfway down the parking lot when he saw something. Walking up closer, he recognized it. It was Leighton's car. The one that her character Contessa drove around in throughout the movie. Normally the hood was down but it was up and the windows were rolled. He could see nothing inside it because everything was fogged up. But it was not a cold night so that meant one thing. It was hot inside.
He knocked on the door of the car. Lucky Leighton and Sebastian. Those two were getting it on and steaming up the windows. "Having a good night, Leight?"
Someone rolled down the window and he finally saw Leighton. Her hair was a bird's nest and she was trying hard to cover her breasts with a shower curtain. It looked like she had ripped it out of her bathroom and was using it as a prop. Maybe this was one of her kinks. But it didn't matter as they were both adults. This was not the shock. Except for the shower curtain, he didn't understand that.
Then Ed popped up from behind her. Just like her, he was naked. Unlike her, he didn't hide anything. He gasped and tried to hide behind Leighton, ashamed that he had been caught. Both were sweating hard and it wasn't because of the warm night air. The whole puzzle suddenly made sense now that all the pieces were together.
"It's okay, Rob, we're just rehearsing our new scene," Leighton replied sheepishly.
Robert backed away from the car slowly, amusement and satisfaction of knowing the truth both plastered on his face.
TBC...
Note: Okay, I think there's at least one or two more parts left. I think...I'm not sure. Forgive me, Twilight fans, I just couldn't resist poking a little fun at the series. It was too easy. I adore Rob to death though. I'm still kinda hoping he'd end up on GG one day and it would make my dreams come true. Lol. Thanks for sticking with this.