one of those weekends.
Well this has been a very trying weekend for me. Happy Easter to everyone first off.
Well friday I called my sister around 11 and asked if we were going to meet up for lunch. I then found out that mom had to go to the hospital. The doctors had given her some serious news abotu her heart. Her only option is a heart transplant. Well I kinda went numb after that and found myself laying infront of the english building and looking at the grey sky. I really dont know what i was thinking. Breezy(my sister) had told me that the doctors had said to spend time with her, so i take that as she dont have much time. I wote this in History class:
My mind is running a million miles a second. All I feel is guilt about not spending enough time with her, not calling her. Don’t get me wrong I think about her all the time, wondering how she is. I’ve always thought I had prepared myself for this, cut myself from that place in me, my last disconnect with something. But I feel I have betrayed her so badly by doing some and if she would pass with this still with me, it would be a scar I could never heal. I really don’t know what to do at this point; I need to see Billie, see her smile, and hear her understanding voice. All I want right now is a hug from her. 50 min of this and I will be able to see her. I hope I'll be able to make it through class I don’t know. GOD I HATE THIS FEELING!!!!! I wish I could just sleep, or lay down with Billie. God that would be nice. I don’t know why I’m writing this. I just hope I can put down the emotions on paper rather then show it in class. Its slowly starting to go away, I don’t know if ill is able to control it if it returns. Wish me luck
Hank Owen Davis
Well I made it out of class, and soon found billie in the english building and ran up and hugged her. She asked what was wrong and i told her. We then got done with her class and went to my dorm. We layed down. GOD it felt good to lay there with her. Soon i found that my mom was in the hospital and i found her number. I called her and talked alittle and then i went up to see her.
It was emotional for me to see her. Her spirite is so damn high, and it felt good to talk to her. We both cried together, and talked about alot of things. She also said that her only option is a heart transplant. She is going to make every atempt to make it on the list also. Well i spent the day with her and then went and played poker with jason, stephanie, billie, and will. Will seemed like a cool person, but my mind wasnt really in the game. After the game and after a another incadent with jason, i took Billie back to her car. After we both had a cry, she went home. She called me when she got home and talked alittle and then we both went to bed. I layed in bed and througth about what was going on and had another cry myself.
Saturday Bille came with me and went to see my mom again. God i dont know what i would do without her. Seeing Billie just makes me think everything will be ok. After that we went back to her house and gave some realllllly good luck to U of L to help them comebackfor the win. :wink wink: After we left we went and picked up steph and will and went to wicks. Good food. SunDay. I spent the day with mom again. Wouldnt want to spend easter with anyone else. Breezy got there and then i went to pick up billie and then go see my dad. She met my dad and she likes him. So i go to billies house and then spend some time there and then go to my dorm and here i sit.
one hell of a easter weekend.
I really dont know what i would be like with out billie there. Thank you with all my heart and soul Billie. You have kept me together this weekend. I love you with every bit of my heart. I cant express what you mean to me. I smile everytime i see her, and love every second im with her. I can also see myself with her for a very very long time.
Hank.
Well friday I called my sister around 11 and asked if we were going to meet up for lunch. I then found out that mom had to go to the hospital. The doctors had given her some serious news abotu her heart. Her only option is a heart transplant. Well I kinda went numb after that and found myself laying infront of the english building and looking at the grey sky. I really dont know what i was thinking. Breezy(my sister) had told me that the doctors had said to spend time with her, so i take that as she dont have much time. I wote this in History class:
My mind is running a million miles a second. All I feel is guilt about not spending enough time with her, not calling her. Don’t get me wrong I think about her all the time, wondering how she is. I’ve always thought I had prepared myself for this, cut myself from that place in me, my last disconnect with something. But I feel I have betrayed her so badly by doing some and if she would pass with this still with me, it would be a scar I could never heal. I really don’t know what to do at this point; I need to see Billie, see her smile, and hear her understanding voice. All I want right now is a hug from her. 50 min of this and I will be able to see her. I hope I'll be able to make it through class I don’t know. GOD I HATE THIS FEELING!!!!! I wish I could just sleep, or lay down with Billie. God that would be nice. I don’t know why I’m writing this. I just hope I can put down the emotions on paper rather then show it in class. Its slowly starting to go away, I don’t know if ill is able to control it if it returns. Wish me luck
Hank Owen Davis
Well I made it out of class, and soon found billie in the english building and ran up and hugged her. She asked what was wrong and i told her. We then got done with her class and went to my dorm. We layed down. GOD it felt good to lay there with her. Soon i found that my mom was in the hospital and i found her number. I called her and talked alittle and then i went up to see her.
It was emotional for me to see her. Her spirite is so damn high, and it felt good to talk to her. We both cried together, and talked about alot of things. She also said that her only option is a heart transplant. She is going to make every atempt to make it on the list also. Well i spent the day with her and then went and played poker with jason, stephanie, billie, and will. Will seemed like a cool person, but my mind wasnt really in the game. After the game and after a another incadent with jason, i took Billie back to her car. After we both had a cry, she went home. She called me when she got home and talked alittle and then we both went to bed. I layed in bed and througth about what was going on and had another cry myself.
Saturday Bille came with me and went to see my mom again. God i dont know what i would do without her. Seeing Billie just makes me think everything will be ok. After that we went back to her house and gave some realllllly good luck to U of L to help them comebackfor the win. :wink wink: After we left we went and picked up steph and will and went to wicks. Good food. SunDay. I spent the day with mom again. Wouldnt want to spend easter with anyone else. Breezy got there and then i went to pick up billie and then go see my dad. She met my dad and she likes him. So i go to billies house and then spend some time there and then go to my dorm and here i sit.
one hell of a easter weekend.
I really dont know what i would be like with out billie there. Thank you with all my heart and soul Billie. You have kept me together this weekend. I love you with every bit of my heart. I cant express what you mean to me. I smile everytime i see her, and love every second im with her. I can also see myself with her for a very very long time.
Hank.