Boring personal Analysis

[blandmannered]

Kudos to YOU. WELL.... Jacob and I broke up. It doesn't feel any different, except there's a certain void in my Saturday night. Really, honestly. So, I realize that when I meet people I "crush on" but I don't have the ammoral atheist zeitgeist to cheat on people I date... it's more benign than I anticipate. HEADLINER NEWS: I realize the emotional intimacy that I lack with person A (boyfriend atm) when I meet person B. Perhaps I am less emotionally intimate with others, and this journey of nearly complete chemistry is a complete mirage. Hm... Well... It's fair and probable to say that if I dated Kindo I wouldn't want to cheat on him. Everyone's on the "outside" of him and I, which is ideal. I was probably extremely emotionally intimate with Andrew and Justin. BUT, what happened. Andrew: conformed to a "less intellectualized" identity, and could not stop exposing (or rather I didn't stop seeing) his digressed self. Justin: emotional wreck. Logic-free zone. Why did I essentially dump Andrew for Justin? Easy: I stayed with Andrew WAY longer than I should have. Maturity points. Justin ->Dave? Completely independent. Nonetheless I DEFINITELY dated Justin too long. SO, my problem lies hidden: I take on a "single" mentality long before I am actually single. Hence I become emotionally detached. I just am deleteriously and arrogantly too emotionally lazy to break up with Person A. When Person B strolls along... ah. More incentive. Conclusion: once I lose emotional intimacy, I cut the fucking strings, and I don't wait.

OR: I just make rude, dehumanizing comments so my emotional isolation is apparent :)