Remember we wanted that
So not having a job is less awesome than most people think. Its not that I don't have any money ( I don't but thats not a big deal) Its just there is absolutely no purpose to the day anymore. I eat, I sleep, I watch some T.V. I can't go anywhere cause I can't fill the gas tank and even if I made it somewhere I couldn't afford to do whatever it was I went to. I'm so self-conscious and depressed from it that I wish I had some pressing responsibility to keep my mind occupied. Next week I go to Kansas (Not at all a depressing town! Lies.) for a Television/Media competition and at least i'll have something to do everyday. And it sucks because I was all bummed and depressed when I went to Kansas last year cause I did some drugs that made me go psycho and I had to take more drugs to balance it or whatever. So my point I guess is that I hope it makes me feel better and that I can lose this feeling I've had the last month or so. I guarantee if I brought myself to go through my LJ history there would be some post just like this every 3 or 4 months. Where I'm hopelessly depressed and what my plans are for escape. But that only shows how repetitive and useless my solutions are. I don't know I guess I thought writing this here would make me feel better. And don't feel bad for me I don't have any "actual" problems. I'm just bored. And the boredom is making me sad. I guess. Well I hope everyone is doing ok. Love Sean.