It's hard to see through glazed eyes...
so, Phil and I have officially broken up. No, wait- I was officially dumped and reduced to a crying puddle of mush that had no choice but to come home to cry to her sister and melanie and parents because there is nothing positive left in Orlando. My last post still stands true. Everything still sucks. Ive never been so sad over a boy, and it makes me mad at myself that I'm this lame.So, i wrote him an e-mail, an e-mail that may have sounded mean, but wasnt supposed to...and i lied in the e-mail. i though i was cool and at peace with this, but I'm not. I know i'm going to have to be eventually but for now I'm hibernating in the Casa De La Fields until i can go home after my dentist appointment on thursday. Thank God I have my dog, she always knows when I'm upset and cuddles with me. New roomies move in on friday, class orientations on saturday, and some where in between I must find time to talk to my confidant and get a good hug. All i can say is I dont want a boyfriend for a long time. I realized that I havnt been single for a significant amount of time since i was 16. I'm scared to be by myself, i'm scared to not have him holding me when i wake up in the morning, but i will get used to it eventually. I guess the jist of this is I just don't know what's going on and now I'm tired and my Dad just got home so it's is back scratch time...