so we all knew this 3rd post was coming...
so i was in the shower and the rest of my stitches pop out (Gracias, Student Health Center) and i start thinking it may actually be easier to just get my finger amputated and attach a claw to my knuckle to replace it. Sounds good, doesn't it? I could be that crazy old lady with 30 cats (23 of which would be missing eyes and/or have bald patches because my claw had accidentally gimped them while they were yet kittens) and every year around October 31, the rumors about whether my finger-claw was real or just a lame-ass halloween costume would circulate around the wee folk as they came to my door and i brandished it while spearing the candies with it as I handed them out. Sure, i could use the other 9 fingers that i had, but that just wouldn't be as kickass, now would it? I decided that I would also paint my hook as if it were a long, ghetto, curly, press-on nail. I would get all artistic and shit- to draw attention to it, naturally... Then I thought about the old guy in the green suit who used to hand out mints from his pocket to the children after church. Those were the days, the days when child molestation was still okay...So I actually believed that I had possibly created this old man in my mind, but then I asked my dad about it a few weeks ago and he was all like oh yeah and then even whipped out a name for the old guy. Mr. What's Your Name- you're my fucking idol...I think that was all because i realized that I had spent far too much time thinking about those two things, especially in the shower, and that i was a loser. I mean am. Yes, definitely am.