(no subject)
oh i was just thinking about my trip to california. one night while out with one of my cousins, the one im most closest too, we were just bullshitting about family stuff and about how no im not married and yes i live with my boyfriend..to me its not a thing at all and in this day and age why should it be? but to some members of my family its a huge controversy. when you live with someone, you may as well have that ring on your finger, because when you do get married, its basically the same thing, minus the certificate, minus the ring. i think a lot of people idealize marriage, which is why so many get divorced. people think it will change the relationship and things will be so much better. but how? by placing a ring on your finger? that is ridiculous to me. so anyway im talking to my cousin about this situation, oh by the way more than one person asked me if i were on birth control while out there, i mean what the fuck is that, especially coming from a family member?? i was sort of stunned..like umm hmm none of your fucking business?! ghaksld i dont want to go into details but damn..my aunt asked me that and i was like, no not the pill..i wouldnt ever want to be on that, especially as a smoker, there are all sorts of complications to be had. but that is just me, alright so my aunt proceeds to ask me, ARE YOU TRYING TO GET PREGNANT?! we use forms of birth control, but still what business is it of anyone but the two involved persons? i keep getting off track but anyhow..so im talking to my cousin about all this shit and she tells me that a lot of people are hoping that i do get pregnant just so that i will have to get married. hmm. that hurts me a lot, to think people in my family are so concerned with my personal life that they have to fucking even think something like that. why would you say anything like that??? and uhhh if i did get pregnant who says i would get married?? is this a new law that has been passed? i mean trust me, i would like to get married and then after have children, some day, yeah who the fuck knows. that really aggravates me. i can just imagine the bullshit that goes on behind my back.
my aunt, the one who asked me if i were on birth control..her son knocked his then 17 year old girlfriend up and then "had" to marry her, they fight constantly and he often talks of leaving her..now shes about to have another baby. wow gee that life sounds exihilirating doesnt it? people that do that, that get pregnant then "have" to get married really worry me. who says you have to do anything? a while back my mom told her entire family that i did get married, because she was "embarrassed of me" that i was "shacking up with some guy" yeah that also hurt a lot. so when i went to california last week and went to lunch with my moms family i think they all thought that i was married. stupid fucks, i didnt have a ring on my finger. der. then when i talked to my other cousin, the miscarriage cousin, she was like 'uhh so are you married or are you just boyfriend and girlfriend.' just. hah. fuck the world. at this point thats how i feel. if everyone wants to sit back and analyze my life, feel free, must be nice to not have a fault to call your own eh?
my aunt, the one who asked me if i were on birth control..her son knocked his then 17 year old girlfriend up and then "had" to marry her, they fight constantly and he often talks of leaving her..now shes about to have another baby. wow gee that life sounds exihilirating doesnt it? people that do that, that get pregnant then "have" to get married really worry me. who says you have to do anything? a while back my mom told her entire family that i did get married, because she was "embarrassed of me" that i was "shacking up with some guy" yeah that also hurt a lot. so when i went to california last week and went to lunch with my moms family i think they all thought that i was married. stupid fucks, i didnt have a ring on my finger. der. then when i talked to my other cousin, the miscarriage cousin, she was like 'uhh so are you married or are you just boyfriend and girlfriend.' just. hah. fuck the world. at this point thats how i feel. if everyone wants to sit back and analyze my life, feel free, must be nice to not have a fault to call your own eh?