what to do?

[blakheart]

so here we go

what do you do when you found out the woman you once loved ( well, still love ) could have changed everything jsut by saying one thing ?

So
I was almost a father again...
she miscarried
that doesn't bother me as much as the fact that
she didnt tell me until a couple of nites agi this happend when she moved back, she didn't even knwo she wa pregnant, then seh miscrried
not her fault at all of course, please don't misunderstand me
however
if she had jsut told me then instead of pushing me away &trying "not to hurt me " & "doing what she thoguht was best at the time" then we could have never been broken up & I'd probly be out there with her now.

butit didn't work like that
it kills me she couldnt tell me?
I understand it was hard on her
but the fact that she didnt tell me...until now, almost what? 2 months later
I am still upset with her becasue of that, becaseu that would havemade a diference & I wold have understood what was going on better
but it's too late now

I am wiht suzi & wiht her i will stay, though I love her too & I always will. I am not goign to throw her away I cant do that.. I'm not that type of person.
I cae too much sometimes, bt you know what? thats me deal with it.

funnything is, I dreeamt of a girl, me & amy had a girl...in almost every dream I had after she left...so it probly would have been a girl
it fucking hurts how life works sometimes...

I hope AMy does not feel bad becaeu of this , I'm not trying to make her feel bad, I'm jsut being open here, jsut saying what I feel..

what is done is done