Friday afternoon..not very exciting at all...
You ever been confused about things & not sure what the fuck is going on anymore?
just when ou think things are one way then they seem another?
ugh
liek I don't get confused easily enough! lol
no, no one to blame but myself for this one! lol
so lets see....
As I've said me & amy are talking again. she's got a job & everything & am proud of her. I knew she could do anythign she wanted, she's a inteligent girl. I miss that butthole! lol ( umm I'm calling her a butthole not..umm nevermind! lol)
Been talking to Suzi everday, 2-3 times a day.
its weird, she has been into moe for so friggin long. before I even got with Amy. she has turned out to be pretty cool. hmm, she's 5'8"/5'9" though..man this is gonna be interesting! lol I have not dated a tall girl in a long time, & the last one I date was only like 5'7" & that was years ago.
SHe opens up alot to me when we are talking telling me all abotu her life, to be honest, freaky as it sounds in alt of ways she reminds me of a cross between me &..Amy...
talking to Amy last night she brought up that her mom thought Suzi looked like her, 3 other people told me the same thing, even suzi was tripping out on how much they look alike. I hope no one thinks I'm trying to replace amy wiht a "new amy" cause thats not the case. this is just a weird..freaky thing. lol
in the meantime I'm trying deperately to get my life together, fileing aploication after aplication, going to job interveiw after Job interveiw. on came through, though its' only a wekend job & training fo r that doesn't start till wed. I'm waiting on a call form another one, which is better pay.
hopefully Ic an get things together soon, casue I plan on going to indiana for a week or so the middle of next month or the end of next month, but of course I gotta be back by oct. 13th for our show at the unknown theatre.
Her mom seems to like me a bit, so does her sister, however they are trying deperately to get her to convince me to move to indiana, instead of her moving out here. so thats is up in the air, thats th only thing that bothers me abotu this relationship.
I mean yea of course I was gona move to ohio, but that was different, I been wiht amy 2 years, so I knew her well enough to want to spend my life wiht her out there.
however, in this case I don't know..
maybe I'm fooling myself & this will blow up in my face like evry relationship I ever been in. seems like just when I'm happy , then billion things go wrong to fuck it up.
I am seriously startign to think I have some sort of curse on me that I can never have a permanent relationship.
I wish Amy & I never broke up to be honest sometimes.
don't miss understand me now, I do love suzi, she is fuckin great but..
well..
whatever, doesn't matter now does it?
so..
I wonder how long this one iwll last? a year, 2 years? a few months, a few weeks
ok, time to start placing your bets...
& on top of everything, I feel liek such a fuckin mooch. my freind meagan has been letting me stay at her place for almost 4 weeks now. I've hardly givn her a fucking dime...I fel liek shit becasue of that. not because I don't want to give it to her, of course I want to help out, she's been a good friend, however most of the time I just don't have it, I barely get enough money up to put onmy phone or buy ciggerettes. let lone give hr money I shold be paying her.
I do waht I can around the house, I clean the kitchen, I'l do her & her feinds laundry with mine, help clean the house, & she is totally gratefull, btu to me thats not enough you know?
I don't want her to eventually think I'm just using her or whatever. I'm worried that may come up soon...
god damn I suck...lol
just when ou think things are one way then they seem another?
ugh
liek I don't get confused easily enough! lol
no, no one to blame but myself for this one! lol
so lets see....
As I've said me & amy are talking again. she's got a job & everything & am proud of her. I knew she could do anythign she wanted, she's a inteligent girl. I miss that butthole! lol ( umm I'm calling her a butthole not..umm nevermind! lol)
Been talking to Suzi everday, 2-3 times a day.
its weird, she has been into moe for so friggin long. before I even got with Amy. she has turned out to be pretty cool. hmm, she's 5'8"/5'9" though..man this is gonna be interesting! lol I have not dated a tall girl in a long time, & the last one I date was only like 5'7" & that was years ago.
SHe opens up alot to me when we are talking telling me all abotu her life, to be honest, freaky as it sounds in alt of ways she reminds me of a cross between me &..Amy...
talking to Amy last night she brought up that her mom thought Suzi looked like her, 3 other people told me the same thing, even suzi was tripping out on how much they look alike. I hope no one thinks I'm trying to replace amy wiht a "new amy" cause thats not the case. this is just a weird..freaky thing. lol
in the meantime I'm trying deperately to get my life together, fileing aploication after aplication, going to job interveiw after Job interveiw. on came through, though its' only a wekend job & training fo r that doesn't start till wed. I'm waiting on a call form another one, which is better pay.
hopefully Ic an get things together soon, casue I plan on going to indiana for a week or so the middle of next month or the end of next month, but of course I gotta be back by oct. 13th for our show at the unknown theatre.
Her mom seems to like me a bit, so does her sister, however they are trying deperately to get her to convince me to move to indiana, instead of her moving out here. so thats is up in the air, thats th only thing that bothers me abotu this relationship.
I mean yea of course I was gona move to ohio, but that was different, I been wiht amy 2 years, so I knew her well enough to want to spend my life wiht her out there.
however, in this case I don't know..
maybe I'm fooling myself & this will blow up in my face like evry relationship I ever been in. seems like just when I'm happy , then billion things go wrong to fuck it up.
I am seriously startign to think I have some sort of curse on me that I can never have a permanent relationship.
I wish Amy & I never broke up to be honest sometimes.
don't miss understand me now, I do love suzi, she is fuckin great but..
well..
whatever, doesn't matter now does it?
so..
I wonder how long this one iwll last? a year, 2 years? a few months, a few weeks
ok, time to start placing your bets...
& on top of everything, I feel liek such a fuckin mooch. my freind meagan has been letting me stay at her place for almost 4 weeks now. I've hardly givn her a fucking dime...I fel liek shit becasue of that. not because I don't want to give it to her, of course I want to help out, she's been a good friend, however most of the time I just don't have it, I barely get enough money up to put onmy phone or buy ciggerettes. let lone give hr money I shold be paying her.
I do waht I can around the house, I clean the kitchen, I'l do her & her feinds laundry with mine, help clean the house, & she is totally gratefull, btu to me thats not enough you know?
I don't want her to eventually think I'm just using her or whatever. I'm worried that may come up soon...
god damn I suck...lol