Can I get anymore jaded?
I know no one reads this...than k you live journal for being here where I can vent. My latest girlfriend dumped me last night. I was completely under this woman's spell. She made me want to be a better person. I found myself trying to be hyper aware of my thoughts and actions, making sure I'm the best person I could be In front of her. I told her I loved her. That one was tough for me. I've become so jaded by my past relationships and now when I think of this girl, the girl who "Didnt" cheat on me, and her reasons for dumping me I feel terrified. I'm used to the girl cheating and making themselves look like the bad guy, that would have been easier for me. I still love this girl and will always...my heart is broken in another way. She claims to not wanting to be cruel but how else could you put it when she cuts it off with me the first day we hang out after 3 months of me waiting for her. 3 months of wishful thinking and honest yearning has let me down. I realize no matter how great of an "angel" you got, you will never truly know them. There is always be a risk. Now I'm jaded enough to not believe in true love. Love yourself people, that's all you will ever have. If you're lucky enough someone will express that same self love to you, recycling that fresh and new love that only expands. Until then I'm going to be fucking jaded as fuck and not trust anyone until they tell me how much they love one piece and anime...sounds unreasonable or irational but my hearts broken and what else would you expect?