(no subject)
I"M SO FUCKING RETARDED!!!!
Everyone told me.
Everyone. Dude it's not gonna work
you're cute together but watch out
you're getting led on
you're gonna be dropped
it's the way she is
she's that way
GOD DAMMIT!
'oui'oeg'hioasf;okl;hkzdf;df
So that's the choice you make.
I can't believe I thought I was someone special
It's done then
Done
Done
Done
finally out of your lips and not out of my mind.
Fuck
I mean what was I thinking?!?!
That everyone else is wrong?
that things'll be different wtih me?
that all that advice is in vain?
That's the longest I've ever been led on
over two months
very impressive. Very.
Why don't I listen to my best friends?
To myself?
emotions suck
I was in such a good mood
So goddam Giddy
excited
A girlfriend gee whizz that'll be swell!!!
well it would've
but it won't be now
too late
good thing I didn't surprise you by taking you ice skating at bayfront
and then asking you out with roses under the Christmas lights
that would've been embarassing eh?
She's happy without me
cool
good for her
I want her to be happy
and did from the beginning
but she didn't see that
I was just a chore to her
someone to deal with
a bad situation
an additional stress
sorry for the inconvinience
really I am
What does she not see that everyone else does?!
That I saw?!
A cute couple
everything in common
happy times
I KNEW THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN!!!!!!
I said it to myself
I tried to let go myself more than once
and couldn't
because I liked her too damn much
because I'm too damn weak
too much of a stupid hopeful hopeless romantic
I'm sorry though for not being good enough for you
being to inconvinient. too annoying and time consuming
There are other guys out there. Hopefully one will make you happy
He'll have what I lack...
he'll be funnier
better looking
smarter
more sincere
more friendly
more adventurous
sweeter
a better singer for sure
more ambitious
more romantic
more appreciative
more complimentary
less sponatanious
more trustworthy
more loyal
more dedicated
NOT SUCH A STUPID HOPEFUL DUMBSHIT!
I'm so mad at myself it's not even funny
No last ditch efforts here though
this isn't some stupid movie where I call back and say
From the moment I first laid eyes on you I was yours
you didn't know it because I didn't know how to tell you
but with every passing day you grew more atractive
you're voice became sweeter
my time spent with you was the best
so please. I know you feel this is wrong it your heart
be with me
because it's not a movie
and there's no changing your mind
so have fun with whoever you end up with
But you didn't see this:
it stopped getting awkward not because it was dying but because it was growing
couple need to be comfortable with eachother
have fun together
you must be used to some wierd stuff if you thought it was over because it stopped being awkward
the awkwardness was what was keeping us apart, not together
I asked and I asked
and you agreed when I said letting go didn't feel right
but you lied
then you didn't tell me when you gave up
and wouldnt've if I hadn't called
that was a wee bit inconsiderite
but hey...fuck my feelings right? right.
tears dry
and I'll move on
and we'll be awkwards friends maybe
much more awkward than before
and we'll never know what could've been
though you really don't seem to care all that much about what you said before
you said you couldn't stand there and watch me walk away
and now you've walked away
and there's nothing I can do to keep you
not that I ever had you
that was mistake from the beginning
thinking I had a chance
foolish
So now I have to put this all behind me
Beauty and the Beast will become just a dumb memory of stupid meaningless drama
I'll get thrown on the list of all the guys that you lead on and then changed your mind
I wish you weren't so damn wonderful
that'd make this a lot easier
I'll forget that awesome day at little angies
the Christmas tree downtown
The envalopes outside the locker
the drives to central
talking in the hall
Perkins after opening night
meaningless
all of it
all amounts to nothing in the end
nothing but a broken heart
Oh I forgot...you go out with they type of guy that doesn't show up opening night!
not the guy standing there next to you on stage
how silly of me
one more thing I should've thought about
Why is this so hard?!!
We never even went out!!!
you never
ever
ever wanted to be with me
you never told me you did
you never told anyone you did
and I thought you might
for whatever reason
so don't feel bad for me
call me what I am
and idiot
a hopeless idiot
to think that
I felt so bad for you
I couldn't believe that just trying to be nice was frusterating you
I wanted you to be happy so badly
but I thought that I could make you happy
and for that I was a fool
That was Danny. You were happy with him.
I saw that from the beginning and ignored it
she went out with that asshole
I'm exactly opposite him
why would she go out with me?
well I suppose she didn't see a big difference between the two of us
Everyone was so right about you
it must really be shitty to be so predictable
guess I was new in school and didnt know the stories
you could've proved them wrong
could've
didn't
but this is it
no calling back this time
I did twice
and those were mistakes
I should've let it die then
then it wouldn't be so hard now
Don't worry
I'll dry my tears
I'll pick up the pieces to my heart
and I'll give them to another girl
I'll find one as beautiful
as talented
as witty
as smart
as compassionate
as caring
I doubt it
but I'm gonna have to try
God I'm a wreck
no girl has ever made me cry
ever
you managed to do it more than once
congrats
tears dry
tears dry
and I'll move on by and by
how one conversation can change a mood. A whole season. The rest of my life
Fuck. These are the shittiest cookies ever. Two days ago I was one pound of hope. 3/4 cup Excitement.
But the hope was false hope. Which fucked up the recipe
false hope
then name for the game from the first day of school until now
I hope you're happy now
I asked you so many times for an answer
but I can't be mad
because you finally gave me one
not the one I wanted
but one nonetheless
I'm going to sleep
I love you all
well...one person a little less
but that's o.k.
I'll live
-Blake J.R.
P.S. I don't want sympathy here. I wrote this to vent. I'm bummed, but I'll definetely recover and be better off.
I'm now single, available, and feeling like an adventure
The only way this'll change is if she calls and andmits that she was wrong and that letting affection die is the best way to ruin possible love
but I know that won't happen
because she never calls me. lol. for any reason
Everyone told me.
Everyone. Dude it's not gonna work
you're cute together but watch out
you're getting led on
you're gonna be dropped
it's the way she is
she's that way
GOD DAMMIT!
'oui'oeg'hioasf;okl;hkzdf;df
So that's the choice you make.
I can't believe I thought I was someone special
It's done then
Done
Done
Done
finally out of your lips and not out of my mind.
Fuck
I mean what was I thinking?!?!
That everyone else is wrong?
that things'll be different wtih me?
that all that advice is in vain?
That's the longest I've ever been led on
over two months
very impressive. Very.
Why don't I listen to my best friends?
To myself?
emotions suck
I was in such a good mood
So goddam Giddy
excited
A girlfriend gee whizz that'll be swell!!!
well it would've
but it won't be now
too late
good thing I didn't surprise you by taking you ice skating at bayfront
and then asking you out with roses under the Christmas lights
that would've been embarassing eh?
She's happy without me
cool
good for her
I want her to be happy
and did from the beginning
but she didn't see that
I was just a chore to her
someone to deal with
a bad situation
an additional stress
sorry for the inconvinience
really I am
What does she not see that everyone else does?!
That I saw?!
A cute couple
everything in common
happy times
I KNEW THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN!!!!!!
I said it to myself
I tried to let go myself more than once
and couldn't
because I liked her too damn much
because I'm too damn weak
too much of a stupid hopeful hopeless romantic
I'm sorry though for not being good enough for you
being to inconvinient. too annoying and time consuming
There are other guys out there. Hopefully one will make you happy
He'll have what I lack...
he'll be funnier
better looking
smarter
more sincere
more friendly
more adventurous
sweeter
a better singer for sure
more ambitious
more romantic
more appreciative
more complimentary
less sponatanious
more trustworthy
more loyal
more dedicated
NOT SUCH A STUPID HOPEFUL DUMBSHIT!
I'm so mad at myself it's not even funny
No last ditch efforts here though
this isn't some stupid movie where I call back and say
From the moment I first laid eyes on you I was yours
you didn't know it because I didn't know how to tell you
but with every passing day you grew more atractive
you're voice became sweeter
my time spent with you was the best
so please. I know you feel this is wrong it your heart
be with me
because it's not a movie
and there's no changing your mind
so have fun with whoever you end up with
But you didn't see this:
it stopped getting awkward not because it was dying but because it was growing
couple need to be comfortable with eachother
have fun together
you must be used to some wierd stuff if you thought it was over because it stopped being awkward
the awkwardness was what was keeping us apart, not together
I asked and I asked
and you agreed when I said letting go didn't feel right
but you lied
then you didn't tell me when you gave up
and wouldnt've if I hadn't called
that was a wee bit inconsiderite
but hey...fuck my feelings right? right.
tears dry
and I'll move on
and we'll be awkwards friends maybe
much more awkward than before
and we'll never know what could've been
though you really don't seem to care all that much about what you said before
you said you couldn't stand there and watch me walk away
and now you've walked away
and there's nothing I can do to keep you
not that I ever had you
that was mistake from the beginning
thinking I had a chance
foolish
So now I have to put this all behind me
Beauty and the Beast will become just a dumb memory of stupid meaningless drama
I'll get thrown on the list of all the guys that you lead on and then changed your mind
I wish you weren't so damn wonderful
that'd make this a lot easier
I'll forget that awesome day at little angies
the Christmas tree downtown
The envalopes outside the locker
the drives to central
talking in the hall
Perkins after opening night
meaningless
all of it
all amounts to nothing in the end
nothing but a broken heart
Oh I forgot...you go out with they type of guy that doesn't show up opening night!
not the guy standing there next to you on stage
how silly of me
one more thing I should've thought about
Why is this so hard?!!
We never even went out!!!
you never
ever
ever wanted to be with me
you never told me you did
you never told anyone you did
and I thought you might
for whatever reason
so don't feel bad for me
call me what I am
and idiot
a hopeless idiot
to think that
I felt so bad for you
I couldn't believe that just trying to be nice was frusterating you
I wanted you to be happy so badly
but I thought that I could make you happy
and for that I was a fool
That was Danny. You were happy with him.
I saw that from the beginning and ignored it
she went out with that asshole
I'm exactly opposite him
why would she go out with me?
well I suppose she didn't see a big difference between the two of us
Everyone was so right about you
it must really be shitty to be so predictable
guess I was new in school and didnt know the stories
you could've proved them wrong
could've
didn't
but this is it
no calling back this time
I did twice
and those were mistakes
I should've let it die then
then it wouldn't be so hard now
Don't worry
I'll dry my tears
I'll pick up the pieces to my heart
and I'll give them to another girl
I'll find one as beautiful
as talented
as witty
as smart
as compassionate
as caring
I doubt it
but I'm gonna have to try
God I'm a wreck
no girl has ever made me cry
ever
you managed to do it more than once
congrats
tears dry
tears dry
and I'll move on by and by
how one conversation can change a mood. A whole season. The rest of my life
Fuck. These are the shittiest cookies ever. Two days ago I was one pound of hope. 3/4 cup Excitement.
But the hope was false hope. Which fucked up the recipe
false hope
then name for the game from the first day of school until now
I hope you're happy now
I asked you so many times for an answer
but I can't be mad
because you finally gave me one
not the one I wanted
but one nonetheless
I'm going to sleep
I love you all
well...one person a little less
but that's o.k.
I'll live
-Blake J.R.
P.S. I don't want sympathy here. I wrote this to vent. I'm bummed, but I'll definetely recover and be better off.
I'm now single, available, and feeling like an adventure
The only way this'll change is if she calls and andmits that she was wrong and that letting affection die is the best way to ruin possible love
but I know that won't happen
because she never calls me. lol. for any reason