Past Posts
I just read a post about Post Secret. It reminded me of all the disturbing posts I made before I met Valerie. I can not explain why posted those things, or if I need to explain them. Still I think a large part of it was that I did not feel like there was anyone who understood, and perhaps cared about what I was going through. This kind of isolation was extremely painful. At the same time it was and is nobodies problem but my own.
We found out that our new flat has bedbugs which means we had to sort through all my books and papers. Among them I found all these notebooks with my writing in them. I realised that I used to write compulsively. Not copiously or well, but compulsively. I used to get my catharsis from my journal and the occasional bit of poetry. That part of me has died I think. I also do not listen to music anymore.
In fact the more I get closer to my teacher training the more I feel that I am become a boring middle aged conservative man. My passions seem to be dying.
On the other hand I have started to develop a passion and skill for working for children. I find that I have professional discussions with other teaching professionals and I find pedagogy exciting. As I read several books on one subject I am finding that I am developing a practical knowledge that can actually get me a decent wage. And although I have given up on, and even rebelled against the feminist/Gothic crusade I was on, I will still bring those values to the classroom. I don't see anything wrong with Johnny wearing a skirt in the role play corner.'
At least I do not play as many computer games.
We found out that our new flat has bedbugs which means we had to sort through all my books and papers. Among them I found all these notebooks with my writing in them. I realised that I used to write compulsively. Not copiously or well, but compulsively. I used to get my catharsis from my journal and the occasional bit of poetry. That part of me has died I think. I also do not listen to music anymore.
In fact the more I get closer to my teacher training the more I feel that I am become a boring middle aged conservative man. My passions seem to be dying.
On the other hand I have started to develop a passion and skill for working for children. I find that I have professional discussions with other teaching professionals and I find pedagogy exciting. As I read several books on one subject I am finding that I am developing a practical knowledge that can actually get me a decent wage. And although I have given up on, and even rebelled against the feminist/Gothic crusade I was on, I will still bring those values to the classroom. I don't see anything wrong with Johnny wearing a skirt in the role play corner.'
At least I do not play as many computer games.