(no subject)
"Is this what life is supposed to be like?" If one more person says yes to that question than I think I am going to... well.. we wont talk about that. I've done this before, and I'll fucking do it again.
In the early summer of 2000, my great grandmother died. It was a loss, but one we were prepared for. Old age in nursing home.
On February 8th, 2001, my dads father died. It was a loss, but one we were kind of prepared for. Cancer at home in bed.
On February 15th, 2003, my dad died. It was an unexpected death and one that no one could prepare. Unknown cause, sudden death at office.
On March 20th, 2005, my dad's mom died. It was expected because she stopped eating and slowly poisoned herself to death. Giving up and committing long term suicide at Hospice Center.
On February 11th, 2007, my mom's mom died. It was expected. Cancer in her home.
That take the entire week including Valentines day.
Those are just the deaths, do not get me started on the medical problems, deadly scares, limits on the ages that family members will live to, sudden illnesses.. I could go on forever with a list of dates and events that would have sent the normal family over the edge and led many others to suicide..
Now I know, old people die. But the only one that was old age was my great grandmother at the age of 94.
This is a fucking rediculous pattern. We're burying her on the 15th. The day my dad died.
I don't want to hear "I'm sorry." "That's how life is." "I know how you feel." Because trust me, until one of you loses a parent and then every member of your family except your siblings and one of your parents, you have no fucking clue what is going on.
What I want to know is if this is truly what life is supposed to be like, or if there is some debt that we are all paying for?
But that's the problem, I want too much. I want reason, logic, the chance to say goodbye for once, the opportunity to... nevermind.
I'm not even sure where this botched entry is going now. I'm just rambling.
Shall we play a game of hide and seek?
In the early summer of 2000, my great grandmother died. It was a loss, but one we were prepared for. Old age in nursing home.
On February 8th, 2001, my dads father died. It was a loss, but one we were kind of prepared for. Cancer at home in bed.
On February 15th, 2003, my dad died. It was an unexpected death and one that no one could prepare. Unknown cause, sudden death at office.
On March 20th, 2005, my dad's mom died. It was expected because she stopped eating and slowly poisoned herself to death. Giving up and committing long term suicide at Hospice Center.
On February 11th, 2007, my mom's mom died. It was expected. Cancer in her home.
That take the entire week including Valentines day.
Those are just the deaths, do not get me started on the medical problems, deadly scares, limits on the ages that family members will live to, sudden illnesses.. I could go on forever with a list of dates and events that would have sent the normal family over the edge and led many others to suicide..
Now I know, old people die. But the only one that was old age was my great grandmother at the age of 94.
This is a fucking rediculous pattern. We're burying her on the 15th. The day my dad died.
I don't want to hear "I'm sorry." "That's how life is." "I know how you feel." Because trust me, until one of you loses a parent and then every member of your family except your siblings and one of your parents, you have no fucking clue what is going on.
What I want to know is if this is truly what life is supposed to be like, or if there is some debt that we are all paying for?
But that's the problem, I want too much. I want reason, logic, the chance to say goodbye for once, the opportunity to... nevermind.
I'm not even sure where this botched entry is going now. I'm just rambling.
Shall we play a game of hide and seek?