Hot Talk
Well, folks, this just may be my very last entry in Australia. This Thursday, I leave Newcastle for good to spend two nights in Sydney. I fly to Nadi, Fiji on July 2 and then back to Sydney on July 10. And then! Then! I fly back home on July 11. I'm beyond excited. The past few nights, I've been having vivid, detailed dreams about being home. It was only until the night before last when being sad about leaving Australia became a part of my nighttime reverie (Reverie? Yes, bitch, I said it. I ain't scurred). I've being thinking about coming back to South Carolina for so long, it doesn't seem real. It's like Christmas, your wedding day or when you have to piss/poop REALLY bad. I know it'll be great, but I've thought about it so much and gotten so used to looking forward to it, that I can't actually fathom what it will be like. It doesn't seem real.
What is becoming more and more real, though, is the fact that I'm leaving. I've already said "goodbye" to everybody except for Ellen. It's so weird to go from being around these people all the time for months to not even being able to call them. It doesn't seem like people like Sandy, Brynn or Sean are actually gone -- just that they have a big test to study for or went to Sydney for the weekend. But then the harsh reality sinks in that you may never see any of them again. These have been interesting relationships. In many ways, I feel like I've become more dependent on the friends I've made here than my core group at home. Back in February, I was voluntarily thrown into a different culture with no house, transportation, family or friends. And we were all in the same boat. So, in a sense, my Australia friends have taken the place of both my family and friends. Now that's not to say that there's even a competition between them and my family and friends back home. I have a history with you all that extends so much further and I love all of you. So, these friends aren't replacements, they're additions. But I do feel like I've asked more of my friends here and that they've asked more of me than would be normal at home. Here we were in a new culture lacking knowledge, comfort and confidence, so we had to fill in each other's blanks. And most of them did a really great job for me. And I hope they can say the same about me. Except the Fantastic Four. Fuck those bitches (especially Courtney). So, in the end, the "goodbye's" I'm in the process of saying or harder than the ones I made when I left the US back in February. Of course, I knew I was going to see my family, Mudbutt, Taryn G., Julie, Bobby Thixxx, Iceberg Slim, Miss Delicious, Nenniper, Angel Baby, Poshy and Philbrook again (like my gratuitous name-dropping?). But the future with my friends here is much less certain.
All that talk means is that it's been the relationships I've formed Down Under that will provide the most enduring memories and be the most hard to let go of (or at least allow to change). Australia's great. I've been able to do stuff here that I would never have been able to do elsewhere (Uluru, Great Barrier Reef, Sydney). But day-to-day life in Newcastle hasn't been that different from my life back home. It's been harder, but that was mainly because of the things I had left back home. So, friends have been what's made this experience so worthwile. And while we'll be in different states, I know I'll make the effort to be at their weddings, meet their children or just hang out.
The truth can't be denied, though. My excitement to be back home outweighs my sadness to leave. This has been the first thing I can remember ever wanting so bad that I actually dreamed about it on a regular basis...if you don't count all my drug-induced dreams about drunken anal orgies. If I had Australia to do over again, I would definitely do it. But I think I would wait a few months. I feel like my time here is ending at just the right time. Leaving sooner wouldn't be enough time and leaving later would mean outstaying my welcome. It's just time.
Last night, I went out to eat with Sandy, Brynn and Ellen and we were able to spend time reminiscing, laughing and talking shit about all the people who annoyed us and then I went home. Right now, I'm in the midst of housekeeping stuff like closing my bank account and turning off my phone line, but before I know it, I'll be in Fiji and then home. I'LL BE HOME IN LESS THAN TWO WEEKS! After being here for so long, it blows my mind that that's all I have to wait through before I go home. I'm even looking forward to waiting in the airport and then the long-ass flight to San Francisco. What does that tell you?
Anyway, I don't know when I'll update next, but I'll recount my Fiji experiences, post some pictures and maybe even keep updating about the non-Australian things that follow when I get home. For now, though, Blake is pretty much done doing Australia. Thanks to those who cared enough to read. I miss you all and I'll see you soon. Beh!
What is becoming more and more real, though, is the fact that I'm leaving. I've already said "goodbye" to everybody except for Ellen. It's so weird to go from being around these people all the time for months to not even being able to call them. It doesn't seem like people like Sandy, Brynn or Sean are actually gone -- just that they have a big test to study for or went to Sydney for the weekend. But then the harsh reality sinks in that you may never see any of them again. These have been interesting relationships. In many ways, I feel like I've become more dependent on the friends I've made here than my core group at home. Back in February, I was voluntarily thrown into a different culture with no house, transportation, family or friends. And we were all in the same boat. So, in a sense, my Australia friends have taken the place of both my family and friends. Now that's not to say that there's even a competition between them and my family and friends back home. I have a history with you all that extends so much further and I love all of you. So, these friends aren't replacements, they're additions. But I do feel like I've asked more of my friends here and that they've asked more of me than would be normal at home. Here we were in a new culture lacking knowledge, comfort and confidence, so we had to fill in each other's blanks. And most of them did a really great job for me. And I hope they can say the same about me. Except the Fantastic Four. Fuck those bitches (especially Courtney). So, in the end, the "goodbye's" I'm in the process of saying or harder than the ones I made when I left the US back in February. Of course, I knew I was going to see my family, Mudbutt, Taryn G., Julie, Bobby Thixxx, Iceberg Slim, Miss Delicious, Nenniper, Angel Baby, Poshy and Philbrook again (like my gratuitous name-dropping?). But the future with my friends here is much less certain.
All that talk means is that it's been the relationships I've formed Down Under that will provide the most enduring memories and be the most hard to let go of (or at least allow to change). Australia's great. I've been able to do stuff here that I would never have been able to do elsewhere (Uluru, Great Barrier Reef, Sydney). But day-to-day life in Newcastle hasn't been that different from my life back home. It's been harder, but that was mainly because of the things I had left back home. So, friends have been what's made this experience so worthwile. And while we'll be in different states, I know I'll make the effort to be at their weddings, meet their children or just hang out.
The truth can't be denied, though. My excitement to be back home outweighs my sadness to leave. This has been the first thing I can remember ever wanting so bad that I actually dreamed about it on a regular basis...if you don't count all my drug-induced dreams about drunken anal orgies. If I had Australia to do over again, I would definitely do it. But I think I would wait a few months. I feel like my time here is ending at just the right time. Leaving sooner wouldn't be enough time and leaving later would mean outstaying my welcome. It's just time.
Last night, I went out to eat with Sandy, Brynn and Ellen and we were able to spend time reminiscing, laughing and talking shit about all the people who annoyed us and then I went home. Right now, I'm in the midst of housekeeping stuff like closing my bank account and turning off my phone line, but before I know it, I'll be in Fiji and then home. I'LL BE HOME IN LESS THAN TWO WEEKS! After being here for so long, it blows my mind that that's all I have to wait through before I go home. I'm even looking forward to waiting in the airport and then the long-ass flight to San Francisco. What does that tell you?
Anyway, I don't know when I'll update next, but I'll recount my Fiji experiences, post some pictures and maybe even keep updating about the non-Australian things that follow when I get home. For now, though, Blake is pretty much done doing Australia. Thanks to those who cared enough to read. I miss you all and I'll see you soon. Beh!