Jumper sucks

Mar 25, 2008 14:56

Spoilers, but who cares, the movie sucked:

I read Jumper as a kid, and I thought it was great. It was great for the same reason that the Spiderman movie was great. It portrayed a kid who suddenly gains a ridiculous power, and has to decide what to do with it. It doesn't just build a character, it builds a connection with the audience. Everyone thinks about what they would do with that power, and evaluates the choices the character makes.

Jumper: the movie has none of those things.

In the book, Davey is the only person on Earth who has ever teleported as far as anyone knows. There is no "Paladin" group that kills jumpers, there is no british-accented guy who jumps cars around. He doesn't damage walls and move things around when he teleports, nor does he make a huge noise. He is not some millionaire teleporting playboy that uses his power to sleep with random girls and then vanish.

The movie also glosses over the fact that he needs to acquire all those jump points, that would have made for some interesting story, but who cares, have another shot of Davey sitting on top of the Sphinx.

There's also the minor plot hole that no normal human could ever, Ever, EVER defeat a jumper in a fight. If the human was in a tank, and the jumper was naked, he still couldn't win. It's just not possible. And yet these dumbass Paladins seem to be able to get the drop on them all the time.

The crap with his mom was just dumb, the love interest was dumb, Samuel Jackson's character was dumb, the other jumper was dumb, the magical cable shooty sticks were dumb, and this movie was dumb.
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