valentines? Pshhhaw
I've been at Richard's. Things are not great, not good at all. I feel as if everything has just conspired against me and escalated out of control. Even though I believe I was right to be angry, I still feel guilty.
So Happy Valentine's Blaise!
Yes you really managed to mess that one up! Although it was with a little help from Granger. I bet Malcolm is just wetting himself with laughter, yes you can say it - "I told you so". Great.
[PRIVATE]
How worthless do I feel? Granger appears to be under the impression that I am toying with Harry for some twisted reason all because I didn't appreciate her efforts in giving me a carte blanche to sleep with him. How will Harry having sex help him in the fight against Voldemort? That girl is seriously deluded, and far too used to poking her nose in places where it's not wanted or appropriate.
So Harry now believes...I don't know what he believes, it's just all ruined and I'm alone again. I'm sensing a pattern here...
Granger said I didn't want to give my "precious body" to Harry, that I felt he was beneath me. If only that were the case, if anyone isn't good enough it's me.
[/private]
Harry,
I've started this letter at least twice already and it still isn't nearly good enough to convey everything I want to say. My first reaction was to ignore your letter and carry on isolating myself and making sure that we don't run into each other. My second reaction was to remember how I wanted to be honest with you, and try not to be the "Slytherin Bitch" that everyone else believes me to me, so I'm writing this now, being honest.
If we're being totally honest I would have to say that my very first reaction on receiving your letter was to come straight back to the flat and see you - but I wasn't sure how you'd react to me just turning up and to be truthful, I couldn't stand having you turn me away. This is so hard writing this, It's taken me at least an hour to get this far - I hate admitting to how I feel.
I want to appologise for what I said to Hermione, it wasn't intentional, nor reflects how I view her or anyone else of Muggle heritage, It was designed to provoke and hurt her as she had hurt me. I'm not going to re-hash what was said between myself and Hermione; I am, however, deeply hurt by her words and equally worried that you believe them. That you think I am only with you for fun and not because I love you, do you believe that Harry? I hope you believe that my intentions are good and that I don't want to hurt you although, inadvertently I already have and I'm so sorry.
I was angry with Hermione for interfering, I don't know her very well and to have someone you hardly know start interfering into a personal and private part of your life is distressing, particularly for me - i value my privacy and our private moments I would prefer to remain private. I just felt violated and pressured, but not by you, by her and I reacted badly.
I'm not really sure how to end this, Richard obviously wants me gone, he's dropping none to subtle hints about how he needs his "man space" so I suppose I will be back at school very soon. I hope that things won't be too awkward around the flat and I promise I will try to keep out of your way and try not to make things uncomfortable for you.
I really wish things hadn't happened this way Harry, I had hoped this would be something I wouldn't mess up but it seems that I have. I just want you to know that I do love you, I have no way of proving it, you'll just have to take my word for what it's worth.
Love,
Blaise.
So Happy Valentine's Blaise!
Yes you really managed to mess that one up! Although it was with a little help from Granger. I bet Malcolm is just wetting himself with laughter, yes you can say it - "I told you so". Great.
[PRIVATE]
How worthless do I feel? Granger appears to be under the impression that I am toying with Harry for some twisted reason all because I didn't appreciate her efforts in giving me a carte blanche to sleep with him. How will Harry having sex help him in the fight against Voldemort? That girl is seriously deluded, and far too used to poking her nose in places where it's not wanted or appropriate.
So Harry now believes...I don't know what he believes, it's just all ruined and I'm alone again. I'm sensing a pattern here...
Granger said I didn't want to give my "precious body" to Harry, that I felt he was beneath me. If only that were the case, if anyone isn't good enough it's me.
[/private]
Harry,
I've started this letter at least twice already and it still isn't nearly good enough to convey everything I want to say. My first reaction was to ignore your letter and carry on isolating myself and making sure that we don't run into each other. My second reaction was to remember how I wanted to be honest with you, and try not to be the "Slytherin Bitch" that everyone else believes me to me, so I'm writing this now, being honest.
If we're being totally honest I would have to say that my very first reaction on receiving your letter was to come straight back to the flat and see you - but I wasn't sure how you'd react to me just turning up and to be truthful, I couldn't stand having you turn me away. This is so hard writing this, It's taken me at least an hour to get this far - I hate admitting to how I feel.
I want to appologise for what I said to Hermione, it wasn't intentional, nor reflects how I view her or anyone else of Muggle heritage, It was designed to provoke and hurt her as she had hurt me. I'm not going to re-hash what was said between myself and Hermione; I am, however, deeply hurt by her words and equally worried that you believe them. That you think I am only with you for fun and not because I love you, do you believe that Harry? I hope you believe that my intentions are good and that I don't want to hurt you although, inadvertently I already have and I'm so sorry.
I was angry with Hermione for interfering, I don't know her very well and to have someone you hardly know start interfering into a personal and private part of your life is distressing, particularly for me - i value my privacy and our private moments I would prefer to remain private. I just felt violated and pressured, but not by you, by her and I reacted badly.
I'm not really sure how to end this, Richard obviously wants me gone, he's dropping none to subtle hints about how he needs his "man space" so I suppose I will be back at school very soon. I hope that things won't be too awkward around the flat and I promise I will try to keep out of your way and try not to make things uncomfortable for you.
I really wish things hadn't happened this way Harry, I had hoped this would be something I wouldn't mess up but it seems that I have. I just want you to know that I do love you, I have no way of proving it, you'll just have to take my word for what it's worth.
Love,
Blaise.