Jan 13, 2010 20:28
Doing a little better.... at least until I start thinking of my little boy... I'll notice I'm doing a bit better and then realize that and just feel more guilty. What right do I have to feel better when Puck is dead.
I just don't know what to do with Batman... I don't know if trying to find a new kitty to keep him company is the right thing to do- he seems lonesome... Every second I am home he is my little shadow, curls up in my lap and sleeps...
He is refusing to transition to my healthy natural canned food diet... he's losing weight, only eating dry food if I sit there and pet him, he's puking hair balls.... i don't know if I need to just let him mourn the loss of his friend, or if bringing somebody else in might make it easier?
The place seems so quiet without my little Pucker around. Last night Batman mewed and it sounded so much like him...
I put his little collar and his favorite toy in a little jewlery box. It stays next to me always. My coat pocket when I go out, next to me on a pillow when I sleep... I just can't bear the thought of leaving him alone... I don't know if there;s a heaven or anything, but I so hope that there is because my little boy had so much more to do.
I had the most horrible realization this morning that if I had been paying attention, I might have saved him. One day when I was home on vacation, my little brat walked up to me on the bed and plopped his fuzzy little cat cheeks on my head. As I was shoveling him off, I noticed he had something whiteish stuck to his little behind. I assumed it was just litter since he and Batman would often fight in the litterbox, and since i didn't see it again, and because he was acting healthy, I thought nothing of it. But... It was probably the crystals in his urine.