Who am I?
I don't even know who I am anymore. I'm not this new person that I've become that I see in the mirror. That's not me! I just want to scream at everyone that it's not me and that I'm trapped inside this body and I can't get out. I feel so lost. I moved to a new house, have a new family, new friends, a new school, a new attitude, a new outlook on life. I thought all those things were good for a while until I realized tonight that I'm not even myself anymore. I need my old life back. I need myself back. I don't know who I am anymore. I'm scared of myself. The person I am now is intimidating. I would have intimidated the old me if we would have ever met. The old me would have thought, "this person has everything together. She's so prepared and confident and she knows just what she wants." I DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT I WANT! That's not me. I never knew! I couldn't even decide between pb&j or grilled cheese! Now I've decided to stay here and get good grades in school and then go to college and get a successful life started, instead of just moving back to be with friends and the old life I miss. I shouldn't have known what to decide! That's not me. Where is the old me? I'm not going to cut. I won't lose control.