Big Brother: Blades of Glory Edition part 3
Welcome back, everyone to Big Brother: Blades of Glory Edition!!!!! It's day 2 now in Lansing, Michigan, and now....more hijinx ensues.............
DAY 2
(Today, on Big Brother, we are in the kitchen at the breakfast table where our seven contestants are eating blueberry waffles.)
Jesse:(in a chair, facing the audience) What the heck is this group coming to, especially Chazz and Stranz?
I always knew Chazz was puerile, but Stranz! He should know better!!!!!
Katie:(in a chair facing the audience) I don't know who burns me up more.......that crazy, fast-talking lecher or my no-count, big stiff siblings........either way, I can't take it no more!!!!!!!
Chazz:(stretching) Ma-an!!!! I better get dressed. I have a Sex Addicts Anonymous meeting to go to.
Katie:(To Chazz) Bet not git thrown out like the last time............
Chazz:(To Katie) Leave it to Katie Van Waldenberg to git up in my grill...........
Katie: I've a knack for that.
Jesse:(To Chazz and Katie) Alright, guys, let's try to act civil and mature, okay? This isn't high school, you know.......
Katie:(To Jesse) I AM being mature, Jess....I was just stating the facts, that's all..........
Fairchild:(To Stranz) Stranzy, honey, would you help me look for my keys? I seemed to have misplaced them.
Stranz:(To Fairchild) Oh, sure, little sister. Be with you in a jiffy.(Then looking at Chazz malevolently. Jimmy noticed it.)
Fairchild:(calling over) Yoo-hoo! Stranz Van Waldenberg..............the keys.....................
Jimmy:(in a chair, facing the audience) I don't like that look Stranz's giving Chazz. You know, that tells everybody he's up to no good. I may be wrong, but it looks like he and Fairchild is going to plot against Chazz.
Jimmy:(standing up) Hey, Chazz, you know what? Why don't you let me come with you? Gotta go to the mall anyhow, so............
Hector:(standing up) You know what? Me, too!
Chazz:(To Hector) What YOU need to get?
Jimmy: A life...........
Hector: Well, if you must know, Chazzy, I have a little something something to buy..............
Chazz: CONDOMS?
Jimmy: I hope not...........
Hector: NO! Anyhow, not yet, but the liquor store...............................
Hector:(in a chair, facing the audience) Yeah, that's right! LIQUOR! Gonna get Jimmy wasted with Schlitz Malt Liquor, Vodka, Bud, whatever I can to knock his boots!! I ain't lying!!!!!
(As Jimmy, Hector, Chazz, Jesse, and Katie had left the house, Fairchild and Stranz had come up with a plot against not just Chazz, but Jimmy, too.)
Stranz:(To Fairchild) You gotta help me. That Chazz is driving me up the wall..........first putting his hands on me, then attacking you, and now ruining my shampoo and my HAIR? That fool don't get away with that!
Fairchild: And he won't. We have to either humiliate him or.......ATTACK HIS HEART!!!!!!!!!!!
Stranz:(looking confused) Fairchild, you got that from Spiderman-3..............
Fairchild:(hitting him upside the head) Man, shut up and listen!! We can get back at him by exposing the most painful moments of his life..........we just need an extra person to do that...............
(Soon, as the car pulls up on the driveway, Hector comes out the car first. (Actually, Jimmy had thrown him out of the car for inappropiate contact.) Unbeknownst to him, Fairchild and Stranz were look at him.)
Fairchild:(in a chair, along with Stranz, facing the audience) Hector Pinkney!!!!!!!!!! He's PERFECT!!!!!!!!!!
Stranz: All we have to do is use him to do what we want, and in return, give him what HE wants!!!!!!
Both: Oh, yeah......................
(Jesse, Jimmy, Katie, and Chazz were in the car, talking amongst themselves.)
Jimmy:(To Chazz) Let me explain something to you. Stay away from Stranz and Fairchild. They are plotting something against you, I can tell, 'specially from the way Stranz was looking at ya.
Katie:(in agreement) Jimmy's right. You are in enough crap with them as it is.......
Chazz: That's an understatement...............
Jesse:(To Chazz) Well, for your safety, Chazz, it needs to be stated anyhow.
Jesse:(in a chair, facing the audience) Yeah, 'coz, ain't nobody else throwing the first punch at Stranz, and they despise him AND Fairchild.
Jimmy:(in a chair, facing the audience) Chazz really needs to be careful and learn that these stone-hearted simps aren't worth it.
Jesse:(trying to lighten the mood) Okay people, what does everyone wanna watch for our dinner-and-a-movie day on Friday, huh? I vote The Tuxedo or Diary of A Mad Black Woman...........
Jimmy: How about Blue Streak or School For Scoundrels?
Katie: I'll go for The Mummy of The Brothers Solomon........
Chazz: How about Dude, Where's My Car, Talladega Nights, or PORKY: The ULTIMATE COLLECTION!!!
All: NO!!!!
Katie: Too much women walking around with no clothes on..............
Jesse: Chazz, you a DOG!!!!!!
Chazz:(smiling) I know, Jess. I know................
(After Hector was done taking a shower and dressing up, Stranz and Fairchild came to him.)
Stranz:(To Hector) Hey, Hector. How are you doing?
Hector: What do you guys want?
Fairchild: Just to look at you............
Hector:(looking askance) To look at me, huh? Well, you've looked at me. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get ready to exercise..............
Stranz:(to Hector) Hector, why don't we first have a little talk and get to know each other....sound good?
Fairchild: Yeah, it'll take a minute..........
Hector:(reluctantly) What the heck.....................
To Be Continued Next Post...............