Keepin in doing this thang
Edit: IF YOU WERE AVOIDING THIS BECAUSE OF THE QUOTATION MARKS
...They're fixed now, Argh x.x
...I also did my tags, wtf I must have been really out of it last night.
Well here's the second part of my fic ^^ This has been beta'd this time by lellenator who in a fit of passion offered to do some reading of my fic after I did hers. So I was like "Lol k, here you go *DUMPING OF HUGE FIC*" I'm surprised I found her afterwards.
So...not much to say :D Have fun.
Story Name: Searching for You
Chapter One: Breakdown
Chapter Two: Easier to Think the Worst
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 2460
Pairing: Chazz/Jimmy
Summary: Well, Jimmy goes to hang with Katie. Chazz goes out to get his head on straight. It doesn't go as smooth as one might have hoped.
Chazz watched with a stomachache as Jimmy got ready for his get together with Katie. She had called the day before wanting another shot with Jimmy. The blonde spent the rest of the day being super sweet to Chazz, although he couldn’t tell if it was due to the Katie thing, or if it had more to do with his breakdown earlier in the day. He had been clingier than usual. Chazz trusted him, given what had happened between him and Jimmy, but he still felt uneasy.
Since he wasn't considering it a date, Jimmy took barely any time getting ready. He put on a nice jacket and a nice pair of pants, but he didn't try any fancy new look or freak out over his hair and smell. "So does this say casual to you?" He asked Chazz, standing in the doorway to the bathroom.
"I guess so." Chazz snorted from his spot on the bunk. He leaned his arms on his legs, and put his head in his hands. He was starting to get a headache.
Jimmy frowned and walked over to him. Look, I'll be back early okay? We'll just talk, catch up, and be done. Dates run late, right?"
"Depends on the time of day you go on them or if she's easy." Chazz mumbled.
Jimmy sighed and ran his fingers idly through Chazz's hair, feeling the softness. He traced his hand down to carefully lift Chazz's face back up. "Don't worry. They'd need a crobar to pry me off of you." He said, and he kissed Chazz gently on the lips.
Chazz smiled a little, before hiding it and trying to take on a macho, calm look. "Alright. Just go and get it over with, okay?"
---------
Jimmy tuned her out a bit as he bent down to put on his bowling shoes. He had chosen a place he deemed totally unromantic, and what could possibly say love less then Hey let's go to a noisy place and knock over pins? However, he became less convinced of that as they actually arrived and he saw couples, and people on double dates playing games. Also there were a few strings of Christmas lights, and little ornaments and things that set a different mood than usual. Still, it was better than a restaurant or a movie.
It was awkward to change into footwear that wasn't a pair of skates. He slipped a little on the perfectly polished floor, but righted himself on the edge of the booth seat in front of the table with their scorecards. "Careful now." Katie said, smiling at him and putting a hand on him to steady him.
"Oh, don't worry about me..." Jimmy said and stepped away from her touch, carefully. Nobody touched him except Chazz, even Coach didn't really get to pat him on the back much anymore.
"Jimmy, you don't have to get nervous every time I touch you." Katie said with a sigh, and she dropped into the booth to set down her purse and write their names on the scorecard.
"I'm not.." Jimmy protested. "It's just...reserved for Chazz..."
He thought he saw Katie roll her eyes. But she didn't address the subject. "Go ahead, you're up first."
Jimmy bit his lip and stepped forward to get a ball. They were all so heavy And hurt his fingers He found a semi-light one to use, and practically threw it down the bowling alley. Oops. He would do better next time. Katie didn't speak to him through his first turn, or hers. It was an awkward silence as they went through the first part of their game.
She broke it eventually though. "What does Chazz have that I don't? It makes no sense. You liked me first, didn't you?" She rolled the ball perfectly, though she looked depressed as hell.
"Oh, well..you don't lack anything Katie.." Well she did, but he wasn't going to tell her that, especially when he couldn't find the words to actually say what she lacked. "I just connect with Chazz and...I don't know how it works. Love is weird like that."
"Love huh." She said, squeezing her eyes shut before pointing him towards the balls and returning to the booth.
"Yea." He didn't want to hurt her. "I'd still like to be friends with you though."
"Friends?" She laughed. "After all that, after the stuff with my brother and sister, after we kissed, after you and Chazz almost stopped being partners because you thought he slept with me...all we get to is friends?"
It all made Jimmy feel horrible. Still he could not find it in himself to be any more than friends with her, a sad truth. "Yea. I'm sorry. I didn't want you to be sad."
"I'm not really sad, I'm just confused." Katie admitted, and she got back up even though it wasn't her turn yet. She strolled up to Jimmy, who couldn't back up anymore since he was already near the area where balls were returned. She walked her fingers up his chest. "Jimmy MacElroy, I like you and it will take me a while to get over that."
Jimmy swallowed. "Yea...I don't know what to say...you'e a little too close Katie."
"Well at least let me have a final hurrah." She whispered, and put her arms around him. She stood on her toes and pressed her lips against his.
And Jimmy didn't know what to do, so he just let her.
******
Chazz had spent a lot of time moping on the couch. He stared at the television, watching mostly shows that Jimmy watched. He had thought he was alone, and was surprised when he heard Coach's voice. "Wow Chazz, something must have happened to make you start watching Family Matters."
Chazz jumped, threw the remote, and looked around. "I can't find the remote Jimmy left it on here, the douche."
"I just saw you throw it you numbskull." Coach sighed and stepped in, leaning over the couch. "What's the matter with you?"
Chazz was going to make up something macho, like he strained his back while saving orphans, but it didn't seem worth it. "Jimmy went to hang with Katie. Not on a date. But she wants him to go back out with her."
There was a silence. "I...see."
"He told me not to worry. But man I know what happens when a man and a woman like..hang out."
"Sure, in Chazz world." Coach walked around in front of the couch and picked up the remote, tossing it back to Chazz. "You're seeing things in your own warped way. Jimmy's not like you. He just wants to save a friendship. He's not all about sex you know."
"Oh, yea? Well I'll have you know..." Chazz smirked.
"....With random girls, men, and animals I mean."
"I never...!"
"How about we go do something to take your mind off it? Like get a tree." Coach eyed the room, and a a bit of a smile formed on his face. "I haven't really decorated this place in a while."
"No."
"Then...I'm going to work on some paperwork, but just calm down, all right? Go out and have some time to yourself."
"Fine." Chazz mumbled. He wanted very much to call Jimmy, as he hated it when they were apart, but he didn't. He would hate to interrupt or piss Jimmy off. He got up and threw on his coat, going out.
He wasn't sure where to go though. He was afraid of going to a restaurant or something and seeing Jimmy and Katie. He wanted to go to a bar, but not a seedy one with lots of girls. Then he realized there was a place in town - the bowling alley. They had pool tables there, and there was a bar inside as well. Maybe he could have a beer and shoot a few games with strangers, that was always fun.
He walked in and found his way to the bar, inside a separate room linked to the area with the pool tables. He was glad that area wasn't decorated like the rest of the alley. Somehow he didn't feel like early holiday cheer. There were little windows in the wall between the bar and the bowling area, so he sat at a table in front of one. When he looked out, he startled. Katie and Jimmy? Great, just great. He wanted to look away, but he watched. Katie seemed upset, and Jimmy looked very awkward. Good, it didn't look smooth and lovely. Chazz smirked proudly.
And then Katie walked up to Jimmy, who was a bit cornered it seemed. She was touching him...hell no Chazz stood up and started to march out in anger - and then he saw her kiss him.
*********
"What are you doing?" Jimmy pushed Katie off him and broke the kiss, his eyes wide and confused.
"I just..I had to..." Katie turned red. She started to say more, but she didn't get a chance.
"WHAT THE HELL?" Chazz roared, marching towards them.
"Chazz"? Jimmy said, gawking.
"So just friends huh? Casual huh? I KNOW about kissing! I know where it leads!" Chazz yelled, and people around them stopped to look. He walked onto the wooden floor without shoes, and Jimmy saw a man headed from the counter towards them.
"Chazz it was a mistake, I was telling her that -"
"You know what MacElroy? Fuck you, I mean seriously. You cry about me yesterday and become a sick little baby, and then do this? What the fuck?" Chazz marched up to Jimmy and yelled in his face. He looked crazy, and it scared the hell out of Jimmy.
"No Chazz!"
Katie tried to interupt as well. "It wasn't his fault Chazz I just-"
"SHUT. UP!" Chazz barked at her, and she shrank back immediately. He turned his attention back to Jimmy. His eyes narrowed, dangerous and he lowered his voice. "I trusted you."
"Chazz..." The two men stared at each other, both confused and hurt, before the man from the counter interupted.
"If you don't get a pair of shoes and stopp yelling, I'm kicking all three of you out!"
"Don't worry, I'm leaving." Chazz snorted, and broke his eye contact with Jimmy. He whirled around and started marching away. It turned into a run.
Jimmy stared, his jaw dropped, trying to figure out what to do. What had happened here? He felt panicked, that feeling in his stomach he'd gotten right before throwing up - it was back.
"Jimmy, Don't stay here. Go after him!" Katie urged, holding his coat out to him.
He needed no more encouragement. Jimmy didn't even bother changing shoes, before the man could even realize what he was doing, Jimmy had rushed passed him and bolted outside. He put on his coat as he ran. It was snowing outside, gently, and not too cold so he didn't bother zipping up the coat. "Chazz!" He yelled, he could see the other man not too far ahead of him. Chazz was not a fast runner.
"Go away!" Was the response he got.
"Chazz, please!"
"No! Fuck you!" Good thing the street was empty, people inside and away from the snow.
Jimmy hit the curb and stumbled in a small mound of snow, causing him to stop for a moment. "Hey, I LOVE YOU, DOUCHEBAG!" He yelled, as loud as he could.
But Chazz just kept running, and before long all Jimmy could see were the snowflakes.
*************************
Jimmy rushed back into the bowling alley. He couldn't get a grasp on any of his thoughts, and his head hurt so very badly. He'd lost track of Chazz outside when he stumbled. It was hard to decide what to do, but he could at least go put on his own shoes, get his head on, and try to calm down. Not that he wanted to.
Katie was gone when he got there. He wasn't really mad at her. He was mad at himself. As he strolled out the door with the right shoes on, he whipped out his cell phone and dialed Chazz's number. Of course he got the recorded message. You've reached the Chazz I'm probably having hot sex, so leave some praise after the tone.
"Chazz, It's not what you think She kissed me and I froze Please pick up Talk to me...PLEASE!!" He shouted into the phone. He breathed heavy for a few minutes, the realization sinking in that Chazz was probably not going to come on the line. He folded the phone and shoved it in his pocket, heading for home. It wasn't a long walk. It was cold out, and some snow was falling, but he ignored it. His hat was off, so some of the white flakes settled in his hair, and on his neck, making him shiver. Whatever. He deserved to be cold.
The walk home was silent and felt like it took a lot longer than usual. When Jimmy got there he was covered in snow, and his face was streaked with tears. He hadn't broken down weeping exactly, the tears just flowed. He took off his coat and let it crumple to the floor, something he never did. The shoes were taken off hastily, and kicked aside. He rushed through the dark house to the bedroom, and threw open the door, hoping....
Chazz wasn't there. The room was undisturbed, so Jimmy was sure he hadn't been back. He sat on his bed and brought his blanket up to his face, buring himself in it. What a collusal fuck-up Damn He drew himself onto the bed and curled into a ball. He didn't know what else he could do. He couldn't find Chazz, or call him. So he laid there. He didn't sleep though.
Sometime in the night, hours after he had lain down, Jimmy heard the slamming of the front door. His heart raced. Chazz must be home, he must be. He felt anxious, and his body felt hot all over, his stomach hurt. Then the bedroom door opened, and Chazz's familiar form walked in.
Jimmy sat up immediately. "Chazz!" He didn't know what else to do but stare.
"Yup, it's me." Chazz's voice sounded flat, emotionless. "I'm going to bed."
"You can sleep down here...um..." Maybe Chazz would get the kiss was nothing.
"I don't think so. Your breath probably smells weird and stuff." Chazz spat, and climbed up to the top bunk, where he had not been in a while.
"Chazz..we should talk about this right away."
"There's no 'we' right now." Chazz growled. "Stop talking to me."
Jimmy opened his mouth, but reconsidered. Maybe in the morning Chazz would calm down.
...They're fixed now, Argh x.x
...I also did my tags, wtf I must have been really out of it last night.
Well here's the second part of my fic ^^ This has been beta'd this time by lellenator who in a fit of passion offered to do some reading of my fic after I did hers. So I was like "Lol k, here you go *DUMPING OF HUGE FIC*" I'm surprised I found her afterwards.
So...not much to say :D Have fun.
Story Name: Searching for You
Chapter One: Breakdown
Chapter Two: Easier to Think the Worst
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 2460
Pairing: Chazz/Jimmy
Summary: Well, Jimmy goes to hang with Katie. Chazz goes out to get his head on straight. It doesn't go as smooth as one might have hoped.
Chazz watched with a stomachache as Jimmy got ready for his get together with Katie. She had called the day before wanting another shot with Jimmy. The blonde spent the rest of the day being super sweet to Chazz, although he couldn’t tell if it was due to the Katie thing, or if it had more to do with his breakdown earlier in the day. He had been clingier than usual. Chazz trusted him, given what had happened between him and Jimmy, but he still felt uneasy.
Since he wasn't considering it a date, Jimmy took barely any time getting ready. He put on a nice jacket and a nice pair of pants, but he didn't try any fancy new look or freak out over his hair and smell. "So does this say casual to you?" He asked Chazz, standing in the doorway to the bathroom.
"I guess so." Chazz snorted from his spot on the bunk. He leaned his arms on his legs, and put his head in his hands. He was starting to get a headache.
Jimmy frowned and walked over to him. Look, I'll be back early okay? We'll just talk, catch up, and be done. Dates run late, right?"
"Depends on the time of day you go on them or if she's easy." Chazz mumbled.
Jimmy sighed and ran his fingers idly through Chazz's hair, feeling the softness. He traced his hand down to carefully lift Chazz's face back up. "Don't worry. They'd need a crobar to pry me off of you." He said, and he kissed Chazz gently on the lips.
Chazz smiled a little, before hiding it and trying to take on a macho, calm look. "Alright. Just go and get it over with, okay?"
---------
Jimmy tuned her out a bit as he bent down to put on his bowling shoes. He had chosen a place he deemed totally unromantic, and what could possibly say love less then Hey let's go to a noisy place and knock over pins? However, he became less convinced of that as they actually arrived and he saw couples, and people on double dates playing games. Also there were a few strings of Christmas lights, and little ornaments and things that set a different mood than usual. Still, it was better than a restaurant or a movie.
It was awkward to change into footwear that wasn't a pair of skates. He slipped a little on the perfectly polished floor, but righted himself on the edge of the booth seat in front of the table with their scorecards. "Careful now." Katie said, smiling at him and putting a hand on him to steady him.
"Oh, don't worry about me..." Jimmy said and stepped away from her touch, carefully. Nobody touched him except Chazz, even Coach didn't really get to pat him on the back much anymore.
"Jimmy, you don't have to get nervous every time I touch you." Katie said with a sigh, and she dropped into the booth to set down her purse and write their names on the scorecard.
"I'm not.." Jimmy protested. "It's just...reserved for Chazz..."
He thought he saw Katie roll her eyes. But she didn't address the subject. "Go ahead, you're up first."
Jimmy bit his lip and stepped forward to get a ball. They were all so heavy And hurt his fingers He found a semi-light one to use, and practically threw it down the bowling alley. Oops. He would do better next time. Katie didn't speak to him through his first turn, or hers. It was an awkward silence as they went through the first part of their game.
She broke it eventually though. "What does Chazz have that I don't? It makes no sense. You liked me first, didn't you?" She rolled the ball perfectly, though she looked depressed as hell.
"Oh, well..you don't lack anything Katie.." Well she did, but he wasn't going to tell her that, especially when he couldn't find the words to actually say what she lacked. "I just connect with Chazz and...I don't know how it works. Love is weird like that."
"Love huh." She said, squeezing her eyes shut before pointing him towards the balls and returning to the booth.
"Yea." He didn't want to hurt her. "I'd still like to be friends with you though."
"Friends?" She laughed. "After all that, after the stuff with my brother and sister, after we kissed, after you and Chazz almost stopped being partners because you thought he slept with me...all we get to is friends?"
It all made Jimmy feel horrible. Still he could not find it in himself to be any more than friends with her, a sad truth. "Yea. I'm sorry. I didn't want you to be sad."
"I'm not really sad, I'm just confused." Katie admitted, and she got back up even though it wasn't her turn yet. She strolled up to Jimmy, who couldn't back up anymore since he was already near the area where balls were returned. She walked her fingers up his chest. "Jimmy MacElroy, I like you and it will take me a while to get over that."
Jimmy swallowed. "Yea...I don't know what to say...you'e a little too close Katie."
"Well at least let me have a final hurrah." She whispered, and put her arms around him. She stood on her toes and pressed her lips against his.
And Jimmy didn't know what to do, so he just let her.
******
Chazz had spent a lot of time moping on the couch. He stared at the television, watching mostly shows that Jimmy watched. He had thought he was alone, and was surprised when he heard Coach's voice. "Wow Chazz, something must have happened to make you start watching Family Matters."
Chazz jumped, threw the remote, and looked around. "I can't find the remote Jimmy left it on here, the douche."
"I just saw you throw it you numbskull." Coach sighed and stepped in, leaning over the couch. "What's the matter with you?"
Chazz was going to make up something macho, like he strained his back while saving orphans, but it didn't seem worth it. "Jimmy went to hang with Katie. Not on a date. But she wants him to go back out with her."
There was a silence. "I...see."
"He told me not to worry. But man I know what happens when a man and a woman like..hang out."
"Sure, in Chazz world." Coach walked around in front of the couch and picked up the remote, tossing it back to Chazz. "You're seeing things in your own warped way. Jimmy's not like you. He just wants to save a friendship. He's not all about sex you know."
"Oh, yea? Well I'll have you know..." Chazz smirked.
"....With random girls, men, and animals I mean."
"I never...!"
"How about we go do something to take your mind off it? Like get a tree." Coach eyed the room, and a a bit of a smile formed on his face. "I haven't really decorated this place in a while."
"No."
"Then...I'm going to work on some paperwork, but just calm down, all right? Go out and have some time to yourself."
"Fine." Chazz mumbled. He wanted very much to call Jimmy, as he hated it when they were apart, but he didn't. He would hate to interrupt or piss Jimmy off. He got up and threw on his coat, going out.
He wasn't sure where to go though. He was afraid of going to a restaurant or something and seeing Jimmy and Katie. He wanted to go to a bar, but not a seedy one with lots of girls. Then he realized there was a place in town - the bowling alley. They had pool tables there, and there was a bar inside as well. Maybe he could have a beer and shoot a few games with strangers, that was always fun.
He walked in and found his way to the bar, inside a separate room linked to the area with the pool tables. He was glad that area wasn't decorated like the rest of the alley. Somehow he didn't feel like early holiday cheer. There were little windows in the wall between the bar and the bowling area, so he sat at a table in front of one. When he looked out, he startled. Katie and Jimmy? Great, just great. He wanted to look away, but he watched. Katie seemed upset, and Jimmy looked very awkward. Good, it didn't look smooth and lovely. Chazz smirked proudly.
And then Katie walked up to Jimmy, who was a bit cornered it seemed. She was touching him...hell no Chazz stood up and started to march out in anger - and then he saw her kiss him.
*********
"What are you doing?" Jimmy pushed Katie off him and broke the kiss, his eyes wide and confused.
"I just..I had to..." Katie turned red. She started to say more, but she didn't get a chance.
"WHAT THE HELL?" Chazz roared, marching towards them.
"Chazz"? Jimmy said, gawking.
"So just friends huh? Casual huh? I KNOW about kissing! I know where it leads!" Chazz yelled, and people around them stopped to look. He walked onto the wooden floor without shoes, and Jimmy saw a man headed from the counter towards them.
"Chazz it was a mistake, I was telling her that -"
"You know what MacElroy? Fuck you, I mean seriously. You cry about me yesterday and become a sick little baby, and then do this? What the fuck?" Chazz marched up to Jimmy and yelled in his face. He looked crazy, and it scared the hell out of Jimmy.
"No Chazz!"
Katie tried to interupt as well. "It wasn't his fault Chazz I just-"
"SHUT. UP!" Chazz barked at her, and she shrank back immediately. He turned his attention back to Jimmy. His eyes narrowed, dangerous and he lowered his voice. "I trusted you."
"Chazz..." The two men stared at each other, both confused and hurt, before the man from the counter interupted.
"If you don't get a pair of shoes and stopp yelling, I'm kicking all three of you out!"
"Don't worry, I'm leaving." Chazz snorted, and broke his eye contact with Jimmy. He whirled around and started marching away. It turned into a run.
Jimmy stared, his jaw dropped, trying to figure out what to do. What had happened here? He felt panicked, that feeling in his stomach he'd gotten right before throwing up - it was back.
"Jimmy, Don't stay here. Go after him!" Katie urged, holding his coat out to him.
He needed no more encouragement. Jimmy didn't even bother changing shoes, before the man could even realize what he was doing, Jimmy had rushed passed him and bolted outside. He put on his coat as he ran. It was snowing outside, gently, and not too cold so he didn't bother zipping up the coat. "Chazz!" He yelled, he could see the other man not too far ahead of him. Chazz was not a fast runner.
"Go away!" Was the response he got.
"Chazz, please!"
"No! Fuck you!" Good thing the street was empty, people inside and away from the snow.
Jimmy hit the curb and stumbled in a small mound of snow, causing him to stop for a moment. "Hey, I LOVE YOU, DOUCHEBAG!" He yelled, as loud as he could.
But Chazz just kept running, and before long all Jimmy could see were the snowflakes.
*************************
Jimmy rushed back into the bowling alley. He couldn't get a grasp on any of his thoughts, and his head hurt so very badly. He'd lost track of Chazz outside when he stumbled. It was hard to decide what to do, but he could at least go put on his own shoes, get his head on, and try to calm down. Not that he wanted to.
Katie was gone when he got there. He wasn't really mad at her. He was mad at himself. As he strolled out the door with the right shoes on, he whipped out his cell phone and dialed Chazz's number. Of course he got the recorded message. You've reached the Chazz I'm probably having hot sex, so leave some praise after the tone.
"Chazz, It's not what you think She kissed me and I froze Please pick up Talk to me...PLEASE!!" He shouted into the phone. He breathed heavy for a few minutes, the realization sinking in that Chazz was probably not going to come on the line. He folded the phone and shoved it in his pocket, heading for home. It wasn't a long walk. It was cold out, and some snow was falling, but he ignored it. His hat was off, so some of the white flakes settled in his hair, and on his neck, making him shiver. Whatever. He deserved to be cold.
The walk home was silent and felt like it took a lot longer than usual. When Jimmy got there he was covered in snow, and his face was streaked with tears. He hadn't broken down weeping exactly, the tears just flowed. He took off his coat and let it crumple to the floor, something he never did. The shoes were taken off hastily, and kicked aside. He rushed through the dark house to the bedroom, and threw open the door, hoping....
Chazz wasn't there. The room was undisturbed, so Jimmy was sure he hadn't been back. He sat on his bed and brought his blanket up to his face, buring himself in it. What a collusal fuck-up Damn He drew himself onto the bed and curled into a ball. He didn't know what else he could do. He couldn't find Chazz, or call him. So he laid there. He didn't sleep though.
Sometime in the night, hours after he had lain down, Jimmy heard the slamming of the front door. His heart raced. Chazz must be home, he must be. He felt anxious, and his body felt hot all over, his stomach hurt. Then the bedroom door opened, and Chazz's familiar form walked in.
Jimmy sat up immediately. "Chazz!" He didn't know what else to do but stare.
"Yup, it's me." Chazz's voice sounded flat, emotionless. "I'm going to bed."
"You can sleep down here...um..." Maybe Chazz would get the kiss was nothing.
"I don't think so. Your breath probably smells weird and stuff." Chazz spat, and climbed up to the top bunk, where he had not been in a while.
"Chazz..we should talk about this right away."
"There's no 'we' right now." Chazz growled. "Stop talking to me."
Jimmy opened his mouth, but reconsidered. Maybe in the morning Chazz would calm down.