Hot Rock, 1/1, for sandersson
Title: Hot Rock
Author: Bladed Darkness
Category: Glee
Summary: Puck feels used. Part of the Glee Rare Pairs exchange. Written for sandersson
Pairings: Puck/Santana; mentions of Brittany/Santana, Brittany/Artie and Puck/others.
Length: 800+
Rating: M or NC-17.
It isn't often that a girl can make Puck feel like he's getting a raw deal, especially when he's fucking her. Usually Puck is the one using them, looking a tight little body he can have underneath him for the night. Even when they're looking for a revenge fuck against their ex-boyfriend, or the only decent lay they're going to get for the week because their boyfriend is a pansy, Puck doesn't really complain.
There's only been a few girls where he actually felt that they were using him and it bothered him. Quinn's one of them, because even when Puck was plying her with wine coolers and assuring her that he wraps his junk (and he knows how to do that properly; has always known. If it wasn't Quinn that night, it would've been Santana or some random Cheerio that was on the receiving end of his randomly faulty condom), the nagging voice in the back of his head was whispering to him that screwing Finn over like this wasn't his best idea. And he knows why Quinn came to him that night. It's just bad luck that he doesn't really care enough to keep her from unforgettably changing both of them. He's stolen a piece of her, helped to produce another, and he can't give either back to her.
Rachel's another. The first time they had any interaction that went passed hostile is the first time they were anything more than civil. This one stings differently than Quinn. Thoughts of Quinn are tainted by what they gave up and will never have again. With Rachel, he thinks of what he could have had, if they had just once gotten the timing right. Accepting the truth that Rachel was using him to try to get over Finn, and then again to get back at Finn, is a pill that Puck finds bitter and would rather spit back out than swallow, even if he was using her to forget the first time. He may have been unable to go through with it like he did with Quinn, but somehow he feels that a key difference between her and Quinn (besides sobriety) is that Rachel wouldn't have gone through with it even if he hadn't of stopped himself of his own free will.
But Santana has always left him feeling used. It's always been that way, since the time she took his virginity when he was fourteen, and Puck wants to warn his friend that the leggy blonde that took his virginity just recently will always belong with the Latina, because they were each other's firsts, but he doesn't because Santana always comes first to him, and by extension, her relationship with Brittany trumps his bro-hood with the dude. Artie and him, they don't even come in second for those two probably, nothing more than an afterthought at the end of the day when the girls can't control that their thoughts stray to each other once more.
Even now, Puck realizes that she's using him. He's just not sure if Santana realizes that he's just not a good replacement for a soft and caring blue-eyed girl, or that she's trying to fuck the memory of Brittany out of herself.
He's never been able to say no to her. Even when he was trying to show Quinn that he could be better for their daughter, he's never been capable of turning Santana down or away. He's not sure whether it's because they're both so open to sex all the time, any time, or because she steals little pieces of him when they are in the middle of the high of pleasure and never gives them back.
He always questions why he never seems to get any pieces of her in return. Perhaps there's just not anything for her to give, but he thinks a better reason is that they already belong to a blonde dancer.
There are times that he thinks that he would like nothing better than for the brunette cheerleader to leave him alone. He wonders about what he could have, were Santana's presence not always lingering, interrupting every little bit of his life that he can call his own. He thinks about what he could have had with Rachel, a future that won't end in Lima with a loveless marriage and a broken household with drunken fights, and how he finally could have made his mother happy by finding a girl, any girl, that she would approve of more than Santana. Because Santana is on her shit list, has been since his mother walked in on her sprawled with her legs over the edge of the armrest of the couch, head tipped back on the cushions, with his dick buried deep in her.
Puck may not get any pieces of her, but he takes what he can get: the arch of her back as he thrusts into her underneath him before she screams his name loud enough that he's almost fooled into thinking she really feels anything for him at all.
But Puck's never been a fool.